I confess that, after 80 years of mooching, scolding, nagging, and preening themselves in threadbare cloaks of moral superiority, the idea of Europe becoming our official enemy sends chills up my spine. It is a joyful sensation.

Oh, and Canada, in that case, just as if you had tried to join the Warsaw Pact under Trudeau the elder, something I suspect crossed his mind regularly, if you tried to join Europe or adhere to a NATO which has become an enemy of the United States, we would mobilize, invade, and crush you in very short order. No, NATO, which is to say the UK and France, will not risk nuclear annihilation to save you. No, none of them could send over enough in the way of conventional forces to help very much if, indeed, they could get anything over in the face of our overwhelming superiority in the air and at sea. No, 1812 has nothing to say; we were logistic imbeciles at the time and disease infants. Neither of these factors are true anymore and, indeed, haven't since about 1862.

Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assimilated.