Catholic Nationalist #fundie

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Catholicism is objectively the coolest religion. So cool in fact that the word cool is not nearly sufficient. What other religion allows you to literally eat God every day? What other religion has so many miracles that they attempt to disprove them with science before accepting them as legitimate? Catholicism united our people against the Muslim hordes. We have the best art, music, and history. Our Saints were incredible and inspiring. Protestantism is a joke, Atheism is illogical, and everything else is complete pagan garbage. To you Orthodox out there, the Primacy of Peter is absolutely scriptural and part of Church Tradition, almost every single one of your Patriarchs acknowledged this truth at the Council of Florence in the 1400s, so you should accept it too. So if you aren't already a Catholic, when are you going to convert to the one true faith?

39 comments

old comment by The Mimic Octopus

"What other religion allows you to literally eat God every day?"
I think we can now say for certain that Catholic Nationalist is a Poe.

Worship the Cephalopodean Pantheon, headed by the Masters of the Evershifting Colour! Each of us has nine brains and three hearts, and believe that every human has the right to find happiness! Embrace reason, science, cunning and change! Protect the seas! Wear the wonderful flowing robes and cloak of the Priesthood of Knowledge! And after death, be reborn as an immortal cephalopod in the Octopus's Garden, as described in the vision we sent to the Beatles!

PS: I guess the coolest religion would be Shamanism or Eskimo animism. And of course, the Egyptian religion was the best human religion ever (greatings for my dear friend Bastet)!
Still, we are the greatest pantheon ever!

old comment by Evgir Unslaad

@The Mimic Octopus
And of course, the Egyptian religion was the best human religion ever

I won't say that, but it is pretty damn metal. For those who don't know, after death, a soul must traverse a field of hungry demons and monsters before it even gets to the scales of Anubis. There, the jackal-headed god of burial removes your heart from your chest and weighs it against a feather from justice goddess Ma'at's headdress. If it's lighter, you go to Osiris's fields as part of the death god's workforce. If it's heavier, your very soul is devoured by the Ammit.

Not only is it infinitely more merciful than an eternal hell, it's fucking metal. I'd still give a heart transplant if needed, but I prefer that pantheon over most others.

old comment by Zachski

"What other religion allows you to literally eat God every day?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3fVj8A-K8E

In regards to everything else, the immediate following line is what leads me to believe this isn't a poe--

Oh wait, this is Catholic Nationalist. Yes, definitely poe.

Honestly, I think the druidic ritual involving mistletoe is cooler than most of anything Catholicism has to offer.

I'll agree about protestantism, though, the majority of protestant churches (namely the ones that identify as evangelical) are basically irony in religious format - they claim to be believers in the "Power of God" and yet deny every sort of mysticism that's related to their religion. It's like bacon with no sodium.

But it's all irrelevant anyways.

old comment by Swede

Last time I checked, which was a good while ago, sure, Protestants also eat God in church, perhaps not every day, but I bet you could if you wanted to.

No miracles have ever been proven with science, silly-nilly. It's not science's job to disprove stuff; everything is non-proven until it has been proven.

If you divide up Christianity in different religions, then Islam is the largest religion on earth, with 1,6 billion people, compared with Catholicism with only 1,1 billion.

All religion is a joke, as they all have the exact same amount of evidence in their favor; none whatsoever. Atheism is logical; there is no evidence for the existence of any gods, and until any evidence surfaces, we live as though there are no gods.

Judaism is complete pagan garbage?

When I'm going to convert? Never, why? You have no evidence for your particular form of religion being any more or less true than any of the other forms of religion. It's sort of like saying that Gryffindor Quidditch team exists, and that neither Hufflepuff, Slytherin nor Ravenclaw Quidditch teams exist, as they are clearly figments of someone's imagination.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

Catholicism may indeed be a "cool" religion with all the "mystical" fancy dressed priests, rituals, foreign-language mumbo-jumbo, candle-burning, and cannibalism. Of course, not being Christianity, Catholicism is just another form of paganism/satanism, which is why ALL the Catholics are on their way to Hell together with all the other pagans, be they Moohamadans, Mormons, lieberal Methodists and Presbyterians, witches, atheists, homolutherans, and all other satanists/non-Christians. John 3:18

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1005/1005_01.asp

http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=114439&Page=1#1883474

@Jerry

"As was told by (the Catholic) Augustine, "Those body parts, like the rest, would be moved by the command of the husband's will, and he would be mingled with the loins of the wife without the seductive stimulus of passion, with calmness of mind and with no corruption of the innocence of the body ... Because the wild heat of passion would not activate those parts of the body, but, as would be proper, a voluntary control would employ them. Thus it would then have been possible to inject the semen into the womb through the female genitalia as innocently as the mentrual flow is now ejected."

http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=112635&Page=1#1855646

@Jerry

"Some resources about the false Catholic religion (from a very liberal source):

http://www.chick.com/information/religions/catholicism/

@creativerealms

"@ Jerry

Jack Chick is your idea of a liberal source? ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Such a troll you are."

...except when it suits Jerry's hypocritical doctrinal purposes, and - temporarily - Catholics & the likes of Jack Chick aren't Satanists, are 'True Christians' and are the Elect.

Except when they arent. Because anything said by Satanists is suposed to be anathema to 'True Christians' such as Jer. Until he needs to quote the 'liberal' - and therefore Satanic - Jack Chick or whoever he needs to quote-mine from again.

Ah, such intellectual integrity from him, eh? Except when he needs to be intellectually dishonest, such is the Pharisee Jerry.

Besides, it was Princess Celestia who created your 'Lord'. Care to dispute that fact? Better be prepared to pony up the evidence to the contrary, otherwise it is so, and you're admitting that fact.

old comment by

@Evgir Unslaad .

I don't know but I think Tibetan Buddhism is pretty cool, at least as cool as The Egyptian Religion. In the Bardo, the after death state ,you meet multi-armed wrathfuld deities, clad in flayed human skin, they hold skull cups full of human blood and they are having intercourse with their female counterpart. They have three eyes, ferocious looking fangs,and their hair stands up in rage. They carry flaying knives and wear a necklace of human skulls. They are at least eighteen times as big as you and emit ear splitting whistles.

This makes even Anubis and Aummit look fairly tame. Though I have always had a soft spot for Sekhmet, the Lady of the Bloodbath.

old comment by checkmate

@JeanP

Of course, he is wrong about real presence only being held by the Catholic Church since their "schismatic" counterparts and High Church Lutherans and Anglicans believe Jesus is at least part of the eucharist.

@Swede

Last time I checked, which was a good while ago, sure, Protestants also eat God in church

The main difference is that the Catholic Church teaches that the bread and wine become the body and blood of Christ at the moment of consecration and remain so until dissolved, hence the use of a tabernacle for the leftovers. The same goes for some High Church Anglicans. Most Protestants on the other hand believe only in the transubstantiation at the moment of communion, i.e. the eating part.

While the eucharist is an integral part of the Catholic mass, it is practiced in most Protestant congregations only on special occasions, not weekly and certainly not daily.

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