regarding love marriages. i think it might have been extensively discussed in previous threads, but you should know love is not a factor to be considered for marriage. think about it, if you marry a person today because you fell in love with them, what will happen when that love fades after a few years? or months even? will it be divorce? insha Allah you will not be in that position. however please remember akhi, love is something you build over lifetime, maybe fast, maybe slow. And the "butterflies" that you feel for that person initially is not love. So insha Allah marry your wife for her deen. that is the most important. And it is upto Allah bring that "love" and mercy between the two of you. wasalamu aleykum
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"Deen" basically means "faith" or "path"; in other words one should choose a wife based on how closely she adheres to Moslem precepts.
I'd like to think that if it's a love match, you have a good substrate for ironing out troubles later on. I'm not sure how that's going to work if all you were after was devotion to Islam's decrees.
Islamically he is right:
Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27
The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.
Love doesn't play a role in Islam.
"Shennadoah" comes to mind ... Jimmy Stewart talking to a prospective husband for his daughter ...
"Son, do you like her?"
Young man sits there dumbfounded.
Basically, don't base everything on your faith. Base your decision on if you like the person - and want to spend the rest of your life with them.
"you should know love is not a factor to be considered for marriage"
"if you marry a person today because you fell in love with them, what will happen when that love fades after a few years? or months even? will it be divorce?"
So if you marry someone you love, you'll get divorced if you ever stop loving them, but if you marry someone you don't love in the first place, you'll be happily married forever? WTF?
And it is upto Allah bring that "love" and mercy between the two of you. wasalamu aleykum
And what if he doesn't? The couple's supposed to live together miserably, loathing every minute of eachother's company?
@Lou: Of course, as long as they pump out babies for Allah! Why do you think underage girls are married off to men old enough to be their fathers (or grandfathers)? As long as she believes in the faith that condemns her to a life of misery, it's all good! /sarcasm/
Look, Yasmina, I'm sorry if you didn't get the notice, but it's the 21st century. Arranged marriages are so 16th century, it's not even funny. So are child brides. Yes, the current divorce rate in America is nothing to be proud of, but neither is spending your life with a person that you don't love or even respect. Marriage is supposed to be about love (yes, I'm looking at you, too, bigoted American homophobes), trust, and mutual respect. End of story.
Correct me if I'm right, is love a essential ingredient in marriage or not?. You can't say in the first line that love is not essential and the second that butterflies in the tummy is not love. And anyway, if love is not a factor in marriage, what's the point of marrying?, money?, religion(wtf?)?. I'm not surprised at all that those marriages have such a high incidence of domestic violence because if you think that a social convention, a piece of paper, is going to make you develop feelings for somebody, you're a little naive.
Attention all women on this site:
One of you marry me. Doesn't matter who, or what our interests and tastes are, we'll end up in love eventually. I'm gonna get started writing out the invites, if you could get a week off work sometime around August, that'd be great.
Is Lanzarote alright for the honeymoon?
You're supposed to marry someone you can't stand just because they follow Islamic law faithfully? I've heard of love developing later on in such situations, but I'm not sure if that happens very often at all. And what happens if one of the parties becomes an atheist or wants to try another religion?
The argument being 'If you marry someone you love, you may eventually no longer love them. Better marry someone you don't love from the get go.'
Whereas I have this alternate philosophy wherein I don't marry.
“regarding love marriages.”
“i think it might have been extensively discussed in previous threads, but you should know love is not a factor to be considered for marriage.”
“think about it, if you marry a person today because you fell in love with them, what will happen when that love fades after a few years?”
"or months even”
“will it be divorce?”
“insha Allah you will not be in that position. however please remember akhi, love is something you build over lifetime, maybe fast, maybe slow. And the "butterflies" that you feel for that person initially is not love.”
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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