In the story a mob surrounds a woman to stone her for adultery, and ask Jesus what they should do. Jesus is describing as writing in the ground, and eventually beseeches those who have not sinned to cast the first stone. The crowd then disperses, beginning with the eldest first. This apocryphal passage is a favorite of liberals who oppose those who stand up for Christian values, as when the left-leaning Bill O'Reilly cited this passage to criticize the star of Duck Dynasty for standing up against homosexual conduct.
39 comments
Thing is, he's right; that passage IS apocryphal and is a favoured passage of more liberal Christians than Schlafly (read: most of them) who wish to not have to follow some of the laws that say things like "Kill a woman who is not a virgin on her wedding night". It's a pretty strong contrast to the "I have come not to void the laws of the prophets but to fulfill them" attitude offered at the start of Jesus' teachings.
That said, he called Bill O'Reilly left-leaning so the level of lunacy in this quote is still pretty high.
Uh, dude? What exactly have you refuted here? Absolutely nothing! So liberals like citing the passage in question? Well, maybe that's because doing so is perfectly within reason! The only thing I'm getting from this is "the Bible says something, but I don't like the implications, so... er... DIRTY LIBRULS! DERP, DERP!"
Fundies:
Whatever they do like in the bible: literally and completely true, word for word, absolutely no interpretations permitted or required, even though there have been hundreds of versions of the bible printed
Whatever they don't like in the bible: apocryphal, not meant to be taken literally, parables, needs to be read "in context" with something else, subject to interpretation
Maybe, just maybe, your Jesus character was a liberal, which is why liberals like to cite his actions when conservatives don't live up to the example the claim to be following in Jesus.
"This apocryphal passage "
I bet you don't know what the word apocryphal means.
John chapter 8
“Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. 5 Now Moses, in the law, commanded[c] us that such should be stoned.[d] But what do You say?”[e] 6 This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.[f]
7 So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up[g] and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” 8 And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience,[h] went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
So they get to the part where Jeebus says "Let yee who is without sin cast the first stone." An old woman in the back yells "Allright!" and quickly pounds the adulteress to death with rocks.
When she is done, Jeebus turns to the old woman and says "Ya know, mom, sometimes you really piss me off."
The crowd then disperses, beginning with the eldest first.
This reminds me of a great joke:
"Jesus beseeches those who have not sinned to cast the first stone. Suddenly a rock comes flying and hits the adultress in the head and she drops dead on the spot. Jesus turns around and says: "mom, you stay out of this!"
"left-leaning Bill O'Reilly"
Andy, like I told you yesterday. GO HOME, YOU'RE DRUNK.
"Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."
really think about that sentence and its implications.
also, left-leaning bill o'reilly, fuck the wat?
In the story a mob surrounds a woman to stone her for adultery, and ask Jesus what they should do.
At which point Jesus said "Who the fuck is adding shit to the Bible? None of this fucking happened so cut it the fuck out!!"
In other words, well done Andy... it IS a made-up addition to the Bible. There's quite a few more that we know of, and an awful lot more that are doubtful in their authenticity... so when are you going to take a stand against those? You know, ones like spreading the word, that Great Commission thing... that's fake. Selling all your stuff, giving the money to the poor... that one's real.
Oh yeah... you're following apocryphal passages yourself while dismissing the real thing... way to stand up for Christian Values there.
Frankly, the stoning scene from "Monty Python's Life of Brian" is less of a non-sequitur than the story of Jesus forgiving the woman, and exhorting the crowd to not be hypocrites, then just crowbar-ing "Duck Dysentery" & Bill O'RLY into the mix.
Not even the master of 'Stream of Consciousness' comedy Ross Noble, nor the king of the Non-Sequitur Eddie Izzard, could perform such conversational contortions like that , Andy Schaftafly; or is "Duck Dysentery" merely your latest obsessional 'Liberal'-discrediting tool, as per sports* previously...?!
And with your IP range-blocking of late, Conservapoodia must be quite the Rush Limburger-esque echo-chamber, eh Andy? Indeed, the way things are going, soon, the only place that'll be able to access it will be the Schaftafly household.
*- I reckon - due to Andy Murray's performances in our 2012 London Olympics & Wimbledon last year - he's dropped that. Must be something to do with his previously precious Timmy Tea-bowl reaching the plateaus of mediocrity .
Not being American I must admit I don't know Bill O'Reilly from a bar of soap, but the reaction of other posters here leaves me in no doubt that Andy Swatfly is as batty as ever.
And perhaps even battier than ever, if that is possible.
O'Reilly left-leaning? What, then, is right-leaning? Only outright fascism remains on the right, if he is left.
For the umpteenth time; There. Is. No. Special. Homosexual. Act. Or. Conduct. There are heterosexuals who have anal sex. There are homosexual males who don't have anal sex. The only difference is the gender you're attracted to. You can't help who you're attracted to, or no straight male would ever fall for a femme fatale and no woman would ever fall for a bad boy.
Did anyone, even in the US, know what this Duck Dynasty was, or even that it existed, before this douche spouted nonsense about perfectly decent people? It seems to be a very cheap commercial trick of A&E, or whatever they are called...
The sad truth is Americas news media has so favored the Right-Wing, Republican side that they have to now label some of their own as Liberal to make it look even. That and fake 'liberals' like S.E,Cupp "well, you know I'm a Liberal Atheist but it's only common sense to agree with every Right-Wing, Conservative Republican Theocrat"
Standing up for christian "values" like these?
Stoning disobedient children
Killing those that work on Sunday
Killing those that eat shellfish
Killing those that wear mixed fabrics
Killing your wife if she's not a virgin on your wedding night
Killing all of the Amalekite men, women, children, infants, and animals, but keeping 32000 virgins for you to rape later
Killing entire towns if anyone within is worshipping another god
Killing 42 kids for making fun of bald guys
More about christian "values":
It always amazes me how many times this God orders the killing of innocent people even after the Ten Commandments said “Thou shall not kill”. For example, God kills 70,000 innocent people because David ordered a census of the people (1 Chronicles 21). God also orders the destruction of 60 cities so that the Israelites can live there. He orders the killing of all the men, women, and children of each city, and the looting of all of value (Deuteronomy 3). He orders another attack and the killing of “all the living creatures of the city: men and women, young, and old, as well as oxen sheep, and asses” (Joshua 6). In Judges 21, He orders the murder of all the people of Jabesh-gilead, except for the virgin girls who were taken to be forcibly raped and married. When they wanted more virgins, God told them to hide alongside the road and when they saw a girl they liked, kidnap her and forcibly rape her and make her your wife! Just about every other page in the Old Testament has God killing somebody! In 2 Kings 10:18-27, God orders the murder of all the worshipers of a different god in their very own church! In total God kills 371,186 people directly and orders another 1,862,265 people murdered.
The God of the Bible also allows slavery, including selling your own daughter as a sex slave (Exodus 21:1-11), child abuse (Judges 11:29-40 and Isaiah 13:16), and bashing babies against rocks (Hosea 13:16 & Psalms 137:9).
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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