[Note: Comments in the thread “Actually, no, I won't date or waste my energy on 'Trans Men' or 'Non Binaries'.” by ToughTelephone]
Where? Your sentiment is hardly new. It gets posted here daily. What you say is true, but I don’t see anyone here supporting TIFs unquestioningly. I see people pointing out that young GNC lesbian women are victims of transactivism and patriarchy, but that’s not the same thing.
Radical feminism is about tearing out the roots of oppression, and the root is patriarchy, not female victims of the system. Fuck Aunts and handmaidens, but they are the symptom, not the disease. This isn’t letting them off the hook, it’s just not playing the patriarchy’s game for it by never looking beyond the puppets to the dudes pulling the strings.
OP is right, unfortunately I don't have specific links but I have seen often on this sub where women here are berated for not being sympathetic to misogynistic TIF’s or considering them our “sisters”. It's not tearing down female victims of the system to not sympathize with women who actively harm other women.
The vast majority of women have some level of misogyny just from living under patriarchy. I wish all women could wake up from it and question those beliefs. I am sympathetic to confused women who are told to transition without being given other option for healing. The system is broken, thanks to the idiot activists and those in the medical industry wanting to profit. I’m sympathetic to people who suffer from all kinds of illness.
I’m not sympathetic to people who think they are better than other women because they are men now.
I have not seen someone being berated for not accepting a TIF. what kinds of threads does it come up?
I agree we should have sympathy for gnc women who are socially pressured into transitioning or felt they had no other option. I've seen threads (sorry don't have specific links) where women were told they were infighting, tearing apart the sisterhood, or being manipulated by the patriarchy, (and other things along those lines) for not supporting sexist, maladjusted TIF's.
To me, it seems like guilting women into performing emotional labor for misogynists with personality disorders, and I think it's a symptom of female socialization to have endless sympathy towards people who hate us and even want us dead. I think we can all agree we want feminism to benefit all women, even the horrible ones, but there's a limit to the amount of patience & attention women should give to manipulative, harmful people.
Not from me. I've seen the Tifs and their idea of women as 'junk and udders'. I welcome them back into womanhood if they smarten up but many are cruder than truckers in a rest room on a long haul. Eff them.
“The only reason everybody is talking about transgenders is because white men want to do it.”
Chappelle received lots of criticism for rhis joke, and more, for pointing that Mexicans or blacks wouldn't get the same treatment, genderism is a white problem.
I see no problem in people dressing up or behaving like the opposite sex, this is far from new, but I can't accept a bunch of privileged white men endorsing violence against women they will rebrand as TERFs and advocate for punching into silence. Normally women who identify as men won't do the same, so it is easier to talk with women.
But I can't start a conversation with anyone who will acuse me of feeling hate against a whole group, this is a coward accusation, without burden of proof, deeply ingrained in privilege of narrative and self entitlement from whom is so spoiled by their lack of real problems that they need to turn any dissenting voice into an imaginary enemy, they need to destroy competition, they need to be the leader of oppression Olympics even if it means to demean women.
So, being a person of color is a hard life, adding to the equation the false accusation that black women are killing white men when we don't say they are women whenever they feel like to be called so is unbearable.
Right? As a woman I’m tired of being silenced for saying anything about the trans community that isn’t “these people are the best people in the world”. This has a horrible effect on my mental health and view of self. Why are these bizarre new groups that everyone wants to talk about protected to the point that it’s hate speech to criticize or even question anything about them or what they say and do?
I can't say anything about myself.
When I say I am a biological woman I am offensive to who is not a woman and wants not only self identify as such, but also take leadership, precedence and dominance over my objective reality. On the same vein I should not use words as menstruation, breastfeeding and vagina but I need to accept meekly to be called a menstruator, and listen about chest feeding and fronthole.
I need to teach my kids to hide what they know about human biology, because I was taught it was replaced by wishful thinking.
I need to teach them to hide their knowledge, and shrink their passion about this subject to fit obscurantism.
And I need to pretend that black women and black men are subjected to more likelihood of being murdered then white men, even when they wear dresses.
I couldn't agree more. In my experience, trans men & female nonbinaries are commonly emotionally abusive, narcissistic, and hold some really gross beliefs. Some FTMs even go as far as to become stereotypical "women have it easy, it's men who suffer!" MRAs.
People like that are not worthy of my energy. They might be biologically female but that doesn't mean I owe them anything.
As for dating... I'm not attracted to male secondary sex characteristics (even if they're artificial) so no, I'm not interested in trans men. Plus the whole misogyny and "your personality dictates your sex" things are huge dealbreakers anyway.
Begone with this stupid belief that us women should have unwavering compassion for everyone, especially people who view us as lesser. No, I won't support trans men. No, being nonbinary is no better. No, I'm not going to get on my knees and kiss the toes of that "gender critical TIM" that people all think is such a gift to feminism.
I transitioned several years before I discovered radical feminism and became gender critical. I don't know if you would rather not hear what I have to say, but for what it's worth, I think your points are valid and I get where you're coming from.
No one is obligated to include trans people in their dating pool. No one is obligated to support/lift up/perform emotional labor for anyone at all.
No one should have to waste their time or energy on emotional vampires, no matter what their sex or gender-feelz.
You're not a bad feminist.
It would depend on their beliefs on gender. I'm Internet friends with a TIF and she believes that biological sex is real and she's against calling women TERFs or advocating for violence against us. Basically she's a gender critical trans person. But she's a Marxist, and ideologically sound Marxists are hard to come by these days. Most TIFs seem to believe in tumblr politics, hate radfems and expect gay men to date them just because they cut their hair. Even if I was physically attracted to one, I would want nothing to do with someone with a completely different world view to mine.
I'd never want anything to do with NBs. It's one thing to have dysphoria about your sexual characteristics or be transed because of homophobia, but the entire notion of 'non-binary' is based purely on sexist stereotypes.
Some of them are just predatory as TIMs, usually the GAI BOIZ type who are basically straight women who wanted more oppression points or were so obessed by yaoi they decided to live out this fantasy. They get angry when only other TIFs date them because gay men don't take that bullshit. Local horrible TIF in my city is also a YouTuber spewing lies and distracting from others arguments because she doesn't have any argument other than "not accepting my gender identity hurts my feelings". God I hate her and she's one of the main reasons I don't associate with the local gay community.
The only Transman i personally know was a friend from high school, who is a second generation Desi. I was especially struck at the fact that the male name she took was "Todd," exchanging her Indian female name for a white male name.
At the time it only made me confused and sad for her. Now it makes me angry too.
I know a Todd TIF... do you think they realize any grown man named Todd is a huge red flag?
How so? Is it like Chad?