Jesus Creep Award

by Pharaoh Bastethotep

usachinanukewar #fundie usachinanukewar.wordpress.com

by the way, if your gigantic penis could fly and let me ride on top of it and take me up to the sky gliding through the clouds all the way around the globe for free. you know what? I have a very famous Twister Tongue, which can vibrate in a very fast speed when licking anything I love and put into my mouth. IF you had a flying gigantic penis that can offer me a free flight trip around the globe, I might let your flying gigantic penis tastes the ultimate thrilling joy climax, that is, I can lick your flying gigantic penis in a very fast speed with my incredible Twister Tongue. IF you don’t have a flying gigantic penis, please leave me alone and get lost. Don’t bother me anymore.

I give you a list, my must-have requirements for my beloved “penis”.
1. a flying gigantic penis that can fly and take me fly around the globe for free.
2. as rich as Jesus, or richer than Jesus, such as owning a planet or simply owning an entire universe.
3. as smart as Jesus so that you can instruct me everything.
4. STD-FREE, before being licked by my Twister Tongue, you must submit a brand new and updated and latest body medical checkup report telling me you’re absolutely STD-FREE. I don’t wanna get HIV. I’m HIV negative.
5. you must prove you are absolutely a virgin boy with a flying gigantic penis. I hate sharing my beloved “penis” with anyone. I’m dominant and I am very extremely demanding. And, your flying gigantic penis can only be occupied by me and licked by me. Or, if you dares to betray me, I will definitely poison you into deadly coma, and castrate your penis and balls.IF any of you are fully qualified, then you can contact me, IF NOT, please do not bother me.

In fact, I’m a STD-Free boy, and I can go through any STD detection scanning machine without an alarming beeping. You know, I’m absolutely clean, my ass clean, my penis clean, my balls clean, all clean, every single inch of my earthly body clean.

Confused?

So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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