(I imagine most of you are acquainted with Larry Solomon, of ‘Biblical Gender Roles’ fame. He has started a new blog called ‘Biblical Sexology’, the content of which should be pretty predictable considering the content of his previous blog. This post is part 1 of a two-part post.)

What God Wants Men to Want From Sex

Today we are told that the primary thing husbands should want from sex is to emotionally bond with their wives. Many Christian teachers teach that is sinful for a man to desire sex with his wife purely for his own physical pleasure. That he should never “sexually objectify” his wife and view her as an object for his sexual use and pleasure. They teach this as part of their larger belief that we should never want anything for ourselves, but instead we should only be looking to do good things for others.

They base this false teaching on a misinterpretation and misapplication of Bible passages like Philippians 2:4 which states “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others”. The problem is that they ignore a very important word in that verse and that word is “also”. There is absolutely no sin in a person seeking to meet their own needs or even their own desires as long as they also consider the needs and desires others.

The truth that may shock many Christian readers is that God actually encourages men to use their wife’s body to meet their sexual thirsts.

In Romans 1:26-27 we read the following:

“For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet”.

God uses different language for sex when it comes men and women. In the context of homosexuality, God says that women “change the natural use into that which is against nature”.

So, what is “the natural use” which Romans 1:26 refers to? We find out in the very next verse. In Romans 1:27 we are told that the natural use refers to “men, leaving the natural use of the woman”. In other words, women were created for man’s sexual use.

If we turn back to the Old Testament, we see God elaborating on this purpose of woman, to be used for man’s sexual pleasure. In Proverbs 5:15 we read “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well”. In this passage God compares a man’s sexual desire for woman to the human thirst for water. In other words, God is saying sex is a very important need for a man. And God has given men their wives’ bodies to meet their sexual thirst.

But later in the same passage of Scripture we read in Proverbs 5:18-19:

“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love”.

Between Romans 1:27, Proverbs 5:15 and then Proverbs 5:18-19 we see that what the church teaches men they should want from sex today is WRONG. When they condemn husbands for wanting to use their wife’s body for their own sexual pleasure they do so in direct contradiction to the written Word of God.

If you are a man reading this and you desire to satisfy yourself with your wife’s body, to drink your fill of it and to use it for your own pleasure – there is no sin in this desire. But rather this desire is holy and part of God’s design of your masculine nature. You may have been raised your whole life to be ashamed of such desires. But I implore you based upon the clear teachings of the Bible, that you leave your shame behind and fully embrace the God created desires in you that you have toward woman.