Once we get the sexbots rolling, it's over….
* Oh! You’ll quit bellyaching about women on the internet and leave us alone? Thanks! Have fun with your FemBots!
* Heck! Being a Fem-Cel of sorts (but well-adjusted about it) I wouldn’t mind a custom-made ManBot of my own, not because I’m a stinky misandrist but because it’s hard to find a guy for me….
….INTRODUCING THE SYD 5000! IT CAN EVEN PLAY A MEAN GUITAR! UNLIKE THE REAL THING, IT’LL STAY PRETTY, HAPPY & BOUNCY FOREVER AND NEVER HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN!
* Well; Syd Barrett is only one hot guy I can choose! I get a Bot version of David Tennant (as Campbell Bain) or “Bala-Tik” or a young, slim, 20-something Benicio del Toro….
….Take a gander at this habenero pepper of a cute little Puerto Rican, right here! “EXCESS BABEAGE!” 1980s-90s Benicio as a sex-bot….MUY CALIENTE!
In fact; I think The Stepford Wives should have ended that way….
* The protagonist could’ve been a computer programmer (instead of a photographer) and she monkeyed with the Central Supercomputer just before the baddies capture her….
* Then, after the famous zoom-in end shot of her Bot self staring vapidly at us in the supermarket….
* ….it then zooms out to reveal that she’s now in the kitchen cutting up veggies (for symbolism, long phallic veggies like cucumbers, eggplant, carrots, etc.) while making dinner. The spouse starts caressing and groping her in pervy fashion as he murmurs some dinner-themed innuendo at her….
* ….She slowly smiles a big spooky smile and raises her knife….
* ….CUT TO a news report on TV with a scene of an entire town….Stepford….in flames and bodies of men everywhere….but no women at all (the implication being that the FemBots are going to ‘Loreena Bobbitt-meets-Aileen Wuornos-and-Kalika Mata’ on the misogynists of the world)….!
* ….FADE OUT as the sound of women laughing is heard!
….THAT’S HOW IT SHOULD’VE ENDED! NONE OF THAT “YOU CAN’T FIGHT THE SYSTEM”/DOWNER ENDING BULLSHIT THAT SEVENTIES-FLICKS WERE SO FOND OF!!!! ALMOST ALL FILMS ATTACKING “THE SYSTEM” BACK THEN HAD “THE SYSTEM” WINNING! WE DIDN’T NEED THAT! IN THE FACE OF VIETNAM, CIVIL RIGHTS LEADERS GETTING ASSASSINATED, WATERGATE, THE MANSON FAMILY, ALTAMONT, ETC. WE NEEDED A PEP TALK NOT “WHAT’S THE USE?” CRAP!
I don’t mind bittersweet endings or dark stuff but I think a glimmer of light should be a thing.
* Have Rosemary vow to not raise her son as The Antichrist but teach him to be a good person (like in the novel).
* Have the above ending I put there to The Stepford Wives (both book & movie versions).
* Have Noah Cross killed….the original intended ending to Chinatown before Roman “I love raping kids” Polanski got into it.
* Have Heaven’s Gate (Yes; This overlong bomb of a movie was from 1980 but it still counts) end with those two supporting characters successfully move away to start a new life (rather than get gunned down in a surprise attack as some needless out-of-nowhere ‘Diablous-Ex-Machina’) while Kris Kristofferson’s character vows to use his wealth and a political career to continue the fight against “Big Cattle” (rather than be totally broken and returning to his life of wealth all depressed and hopeless).
* Though The Omen ends on a downer (and must), anyone who knows The Book of Revelation will know that Damien is bound to get defeated by the Big-Hippie-Jew-In-The-Sky and it will be AWESOME….so I’ll let that one slide.
….If the baddies must win, make it bittersweet and still add a glimmer of hope and defiance.