[Cope] Alright I got myself some jew pills
Just yesterday, as part of my efforts to looksmaxxx, I went to a dermatologist about some skin problems (I look like a piece of shit and 10 years older), and, without me even saying anything to condition his opinion, he said that it's all due to anxiety and if I calmed down I'd be ok, that gave me a lot of hope tbh. I already suspected that being always stressed for months at a time is taking a toll on my looks, but I'm also improving my sleep time and diet for a better chance of ascending.
Anyway today I went to the doc, explained the situation (not being incel but about child abuse I went through), and she gave me a referral to a therapist (I'm about to get a phone call to make the appointment) and jew pills (lorazepam).
I had also ordered some sort of legal (cbd based) cannabis oil which I regret. It was literally 70€ and probably does nothing, while the jew pills are govt funded and dirt cheap. Anyway let's see how this goes. For what it's worth I'm not taking jew pills to cope, I'm taking them to looksmaxxx by relaxing.
One thing I'm scared of is it diminishing libido. I know libido feels like a curse for some incels, but to me its a gigacope. I have decided to stare at hot sluts in the street even if people can tell, because who cares everyone hates me anyway, and I find that to be a good cope, and also I jerk off as cope. Today for example, I worked from home and slept for 8 hours for the first time in a while (remember what I said about improving sleep too), and for the first time in a long time I woke up with a boner and the first thing I did after waking up was to jerk off to gonewild reddit whores, and it felt SO good. It's my best cope, if the jew pills fuck it up it's over, but fortunately it's unlikely according to the package (the way people talks about it makes it sound like it will happen for sure if you take the pills).