Jesus Returning #fundie

Jesus Returning #fundie church-of-illumination.com

I thought all you evil buggers might enjoy this.

Atheists Are Worse Than Satanists
1. Satanists Beleive In God:
To beleive in Satan one must also beleive in God. This means that even though Satanists worship Lucifer they still acknowledge the existence of God while atheists do not. The worst sin ever is not beleiving in God so Atheists are pure evil.
2. Atheists Are Homosexuals While Satanists Are Not:
Even the leader of the church of Satan himself (Anton Levy) still had a wife. Due to Atheists love of Science and Witchcraft they are attracted to members of the same species and become Gays and lesbians. The Bible says that homosexuality is the worst sin ever and that atheists will suffer in hell worse then murderers.
3. Atheists offer more ritual sacrifices than Satanists:
Satanists rarely offer human sacrifices but Atheists do it all the time. They murder millions all in the name of there lord “Science” including: monkeys, animals, mice, humans, and african americans.Satanists are evil but they would never send monkeys into space while Atheists sacrifice thousands of monkeys in they’re science experiments.
4. Atheists Try to Become Gods:
- Satanists listen to heavy metal but they do not build robots and clone sheep.
- Satanists wear black clothing but they do not try to prevent God from giving people Aids.
- Atheists believe in aliens but Satanists know that the only earth contains life.
- Atheists are Feminists but at least Satanists know that women are here to serve Man.

Atheists are more evil then Satanists but
Feminists are more evil then Atheists.
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71 comments

old comment by Doubting Thomas

Atheists Are Homosexuals

When did this start? Because it's going to be hard to explain this to my wife.

They murder millions all in the name of there lord “Science” including: monkeys, animals, mice, humans, and african americans.

????

Satanists wear black clothing but they do not try to prevent God from giving people Aids.

So preventing the spread of AIDS is a bad thing? And atheists are the bad people?

Atheists believe in aliens

Again, when did this start? I believe it's possible for extraterrestrial life to exist, but I don't know if any does or not. And no, I don't believe alien abduction stories.

Atheists are more evil then Satanists but
Feminists are more evil then Atheists.

Wait, I thought being an atheist was the absolute worst sin. So how can feminists be even more evil?

old comment by Swede

1. Atheists don't "Beleive" in sin either.
2. Atheists are homosexuals? Huh? My husband will be surprised
Atheists don't believe in witchcraft either.
Christians are not attracted to members of the same species*? So you ARE goat-f**kers, then?
The Bible barely even mentions homosexuality, but God kills two towns for greed and failure to help the poor and sick.
3. What ritual sacrifice?
Not all scientists are atheists, and scientists are inventing methods where animals are not needed.
I’d say African Americans are humans. Apparently you don’t. What did you say about evil, again?
4. Atheists don't believe in gods.
I'd say the one giving people AIDS is the evil one, not the ones trying to prevent it.
I'd say that wanting to enslave half the population is more evil than wanting everyone to have equal rights.

If that is evil, I'd rather be evil than wilfully stupid and ignorant.

*Did you see the hilarious survey, where they asked American parents “What would you do if you found out your son is a Homo Sapiens?”.
70 percent would have thrown him out on the street. Hopefully it’s not true, just satire

old comment by pyro

1. There are several churches of Satan; some don't believe even Satan exists ("Levy's" doesn't), others are essentially pagan and see Yahweh as a self-centered jerk. Which one are you talking about?

2. Are you saying men and women are different species? And how does being attracted to the same species follow from "Science and Witchcraft" anyway. (I can see how it follows from evolutionary theory, but that's the actual meaning of the word species, where men and women are the same one).

3. Where did you get those numbers? NASA did not try to send thousands of monkeys into space, I know that.

4. Yeah, whatever. Wait, are atheists feminists or are feminists more evil than atheists? You can't have both, ya know.

old comment by John

Bible says that homosexuality is the worst sin ever

Baloney. On a scale of 1 to 10 based on the level of punishment called for, having sex with someone of the same gender is a 6, the same as having adulterous heterosexual sex or cursing your parents.

Examples of things that are punished worse than gay sex in the OT:

Having sex with your mother-in-law, raping a betrothed virgin, working on the Sabbath, worshiping other gods, making fun of a bald person, lying to your husband-to-be about your virginity and overeating.

In theory, it's far worse in the OT to be a Buddhist than a homosexual. According to Deut. 13:12-16, if some people are found in a town worshiping another god, the entire town is to be burned to the ground and everyone in it and their cattle put to the sword.

old comment by Karana

I don't think you actually know anything about Atheists or Satanists quite frankly.

1. It is possible that there are agnostic or atheist Satanists.
According to your book the only unforgivable sin is denial of the holy spirit. I don't know if there is something called 'worst sin ever'.

2.People who happen to be homosexual can be anyone anywhere with any religion or lack thereof. We are all attracted to members of the same species.You seem to enjoy the thought of people burning in hell.

3. Ritual sacrifices? Animal testing is an unfortunate necessity so we know the effects of things on humans so we don't die in vain.

4.No.Just on. This is stupid. Not believing in unicorns doesn't make me a fucking unicorn.
And I don't think all Satanists think the things you think they do.

old comment by Azereaux

Chui, a word...

So, about some of your points...

Do you just assume that "homosexual" and "atheist" are synonyms? I know plenty of counterexamples if you do.

Since you listed them separately, do you assume black people* are somehow not human?

You do understand that ritual sacrifice requires a ritual, right? Not only that, but the sacrifice generally requires the assumption of a recipient. As, by definition, an atheist does not believe in any sort of god, this precludes or severely restricts the possibilities for ritual sacrifice.

Men and women are both humans, little Chui. They're part of the same species. And no, girls do not have cooties. Well, most girls...

And the playing god/trying to be a god argument? So outdated and poorly constructed.

If I'm to understand you correctly:
- Building robots is playing god (there are now robots that build robots).

- Cloning sheep is playing god (well, considering it isn't creation ex nihilo... dubious).

- Preventing AIDS is playing god (what about preventing other diseases? Is that playing god, or is this one special? If it is because of your belief that it's for teh gheys only, there are plenty of counterexamples).

- Believing that extraterrestrials exist is playing god (statistics aside, being one, I make for quite the counterexample).

- Feminism is playing god (setting aside the god complex of some particularly radical sorts, how is seeking equality the same as claiming omnipotence?).

And lastly, Chui, if Atheists are Feminists, how can they be more evil than themselves?

Chui, step away from the keyboard and let the adults netsurf, kay? You're clearly not ready for it.

*I'm sticking with that terminology out of regard for dark-skinned people that are either not of African decent, not American, or both.

“Atheists Are Worse Than Satanists
1. Satanists Beleive In God:”
… The worst sin ever is not beleiving in God so Atheists are pure evil.”
There are DAILY convictions of people using a position in the church to cover pedophile predation, but me NOT BUYING INTO YOUR SUPERSTITION is the worst, huh?
Uh huh.

“2. Atheists Are Homosexuals While Satanists Are Not:”
Citation desperately needed, sweetie. This is just libel.

"Due to Atheists love of Science and Witchcraft they are attracted to members of the same species and become Gays and lesbians.”
I’d love to see the mechanism for this. What part of loving science makes me gay? What part of atheism makes me love Witchcraft?
Do you know what ‘atheism’ actually is?

"The Bible says that homosexuality is the worst sin ever”
I thought atheism is?

“3. Atheists offer more ritual sacrifices than Satanists:”
Oh, look, you denigrate science by pretending it’s a religion. HOw unusual. Much edgy. Very convincing.

“4. Atheists Try to Become Gods:”
That’s the mormon promise, not atheism.

“Atheists are Feminists but at least Satanists know that women are here to serve Man.”
You, uh, might need to read up on your satanism, there, bubbles.

“Atheists are more evil then Satanists but
Feminists are more evil then Atheists.”
I’m a feminist atheist. I also don’t listen to heavy metal, though i did used to read the magazine and saw the movie.
I think yuou’re just name-calling, here. Which the Bible says is a no-no. Revilers go to Hell, not heaven.