YTA. I’m sorry... I don’t believe my husband would cheat on me but I’m not okay with him having 1 on 1 lunch dates either. I don’t do 1 on 1 lunch dates with guys. To me, this is disrespectful, she’s told you clearly she’s uncomfortable with this friend. And yes... you’re choosing said friend over her. Who has in the past been touchy in Gf’s eyes. Who you’ve shared a bed with. Who you are way too close to.
THAT would make me insecure. You’re supposed to put your SO first... perhaps I’m looking through the lenses of a marriage and you guys aren’t so serious. To be honest though, I’m a bit traditional. I don’t believe in close opposite sex friends. Group setting? Sure. But texting and hanging one and one and being besties? Nope nope nope. I don’t even invite that into my relationship. I’m his only close female friend, and he’s my only man.
We aren’t controlling. We respect each other and our relationship above anything else. We communicate. Your behavior and telling her she’s just gotta swallow that pill is doing nothing to help her insecurity, you’re VALIDATING it. Honestly you should’ve made an excuse to cancel the lunch date OR invited your GF along, or made it a group thing. You should’ve chosen your GF, so she could feel secure that she’s number one. Distance from your female friend and see her in group settings. Yeah it’s a sacrifice. But to me your SO should be worth it.
What should GF have done? It’s eating her up. She’s communicated with you. And you’ve dismissed it as crazy.
So what kind of man would you be if you distanced from female friend? The kind that puts your girl first, and does what he can to reassure her.
You’re more worried about Friend than GF.
If that’s toxic don’t ever get married. If you told me to swallow that pill and you’re going to lunch because I’m controlling and whatnot KNOWING I already had issue with this friend? I’d tell you to go fuck yourself. Sorry. Honest truth.
You two may not be compatible.
I’ll probably be downvoted, but I don’t care. I see where GF is coming from. I feel sorry for her.
Reddit is always on the side of omg she’s jealous oh so controlling!! No one should ever tell you what to do ever. Everybody can always be friends with anybody.
To me they call that too fast. She’s not cutting all your friends off or trying to. She’s uncomfortable with this ONE friend, for good reason. You need to communicate and take her feelings seriously.
ALSO- can we rewrite this real quick?
My BF has this female friend from before we were together. He always talks about her like she’s he’s best friend, so close they even shared a bed but he insists there’s no attraction and never has been. I tried to be okay with it but she was always getting touchy and in his personal space which made me uncomfortable. I brought this up to him and he distanced a little and kept to group meetings. Now she’s popped back up and invited him to lunch to catch up. Knowing how I feel about this, he accepted and now I’m feeling insecure, especially when he already knows my feelings in this. I told him I don’t want him to go, it’d make me feel like he’s choosing her over my feelings but he told me I better swallow the pill because he’s going. My emotions are spinning and I’m crying and he doesn’t care— he’s more worried about making a statement about how I can’t control him. I’m not trying to, it’s just this one girl really upsets me but I don’t know what to do because when I try to talk about it he just calls me jealous and controlling. But I can’t let this go.
AITA for being uncomfortable with this?