Kobe Bryant Satanic Ritual Sacrifice Confirmed?
The winter solstice GRAND CLIMAX satanic ritual of sacrificing a female age 7-17 took place the same day that Kobe Bryant and his 13 year old daughter died.
Just a coincidence?
9 comments
Yes, helicopter crashes now count as satanic sacrifices. Oh, cultists these days! No patience, no sense of propriety! I still remember how, back in my days, we used to perform our sacrifices properly clad in black robes and in the eyes of the blasphemous idol of our unspeakable Dark Gods, at the sacrilegous altar, wicked ceremonial daggers in hand, or in the ominous glow of the magma pit! We chanted the dreadful chants of the Old Ones and read from the Forbidden Tomes! The proper horror and despair in the eyes of the sacrificial virgins as we carved throuugh their supple chests to rip out their still beating hearts! Our glorious martyrdom as the hero charged in to safe his paramour! Yes, yes! But those were the good old days! Now, they just arrange for seemingly random accidents and hold the ceremonies in pizza palour basements! Pizza palours! Oh, what have evil cults come to these days? I tell you, if things continue like this, we’re never going to bring about the End of Days!
A bit late for that 'Grand Climax' when Winter Solstice was a month ago.
So your BS isn't even a mere 'hypothesis', therefore only one conclusion can be drawn from that tragedy: Coincidence.
Thus for you tinfoil (ass)hatters: No Fun Allowed. Reality can be a bit of a pisser like that, OP.
Kobe Bryant Satanic Ritual Sacrifice Confirmed?
No.
That was easy!
@Chloe #27468
And 'female age 7-17'? What bullshit is that? Satan doesn't care about age, or age range, he cares about virginity, and maybe bloodline. Did Kobe have any connection to a ritualistically significant king? Was his daughter actually an adopted princess of an unknown throne?
Really, there are far better historical details to throw into this bible fanfic.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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