The unforgivable sin can only be realized by a committed and persistent state of mind. To deny the witness of the Holy Spirit knowingly, understanding exactly what it is being revealed to you and rejecting it time and again, now in mortality and into eternity, is persistent and committed.
As I’ve read one time, it is akin to seeing the sun shining in the sky at noon-day and denying its presence. Perhaps even cursing it. The sun still shines, but the benefit you get from it is maddening, frustrating and unwelcome. It is a state of mind in which you are not simply ignoring God and his outreach to you, but you are denying the outreach because of a dark spiritual disposition. Folks who love evil and darkness more than light and goodness even so much that if Christ came to them to comfort them, they would seek to “…crucify him afresh.” This takes a special kind of person. A person who has decided that they relish in their wallow, that they want to cause harm to others and God even when faced by God with the sorrows of their victims. They have shut off the guilt meter and seek the same spiritual devolution for the lust of misery of others now and beyond the grave. These certain souls seek no redemption because they hate the source from whence it comes. Like Satan, they would rather usurp the throne of God to rid all of creation of his justice and love.
Their despicable spiritual slums or only fed by the infliction of hopelessness, devouring the light of conscience in other people. Inflicting upon them the reflection of their own spiritual filth before God; making them miserable, guilt ridden, and shamed so much that they too run from the redeemer’s love. They are simply unpardonable only because by their unrepentant dispositions they keep themselves out of reach by the master’s loving and forgiving radiance. It is a state of character so completely and utterly opposite from the the divine nature, that desires are bent on the destruction of others, including God. They don’t merely flirt with dark powers, they ally themselves in full allegiance with it.
If you recognize that you are one of these, then you already know. But if you’re asking, then you are never beyond redemption. Never run from God to absolve guilt, run to him, repent, grow spiritually and find peace.
Godspeed, my friend!