The former Buddhist monks seems to have experienced hell and the path to heaven so vividly that he converted to Christianity. Supposedly seeing Sidhartha Buddha burn in hell along with other Buddhist monks.
If I live 58 more years on this earth--I'm 42 now--and receive mock or derision from agnostics and atheists over Christianity then that is a tiny price to pay, if I'll be in heaven for 60 trillion years living in a state of orgasm, peace, and tranquility while they burn in hell for 60 trillion years and longer (eternity) for their Judas money bag of "coolness" they received for a 70 or 80 years of partying on earth and being the "cool" peeps.
Everyone in hell hates each other and even wife and husband their children will all hate each other for eternity in hell. No love exists in hell. Just hate. Sorrow. Perpetual Remorse. And never ending torture. Those in heaven don't care about those damned to hell. Children in heaven don't care about their parents damned to hell.
68 comments
I'll be in heaven for 60 trillion years living in a state of orgasm
I can't tell if this poster is a man or a woman, but the 60 trillion year orgasm reference made me think of every ED drug ad ever, where they advise you to see your doctor if you experience an erection lasting more than four hours.
Orgasm, peace, and tranquility--one of these things is not like the others. And I would not want to be in a constant state for hours(let alone eternity) of that one thing as delightful as it is. Oh, and I believe in life *before* death.
Children in heaven don't care about their parents damned to hell.
And that sounds like heaven to you?
@aebars: If Moses and even Adam and Eve managed to be Christians, it should be no problem for the Buddha! [/sarcasm]
Not exactly a winning portrayal of Christianity, Supine. Your gloating over eternal suffering for people who don't agree with you, to say the least, is rather fucked up.
There is a certain amount of evidence that when Jesus was missing between his twelfth year and his thirtieth, he may have been on the Indian subcontinent. Survival of crucifixion and subsequent "resurrection" is even within the capabilities of advanced yogis. So don't rule out that Jesus studied both yoga and...Buddhism.
Those in heaven don't care about those damned to hell. Children in heaven don't care about their parents damned to hell.
And yet these are supposed to be the people who were moral enough to get into heaven in the first place? People who don't care that others are suffering? You're better off just saying that God lobotomizes you when you get to heaven. Sure, it's a terrifying way to bring eternal bliss to someone but at least it doesn't require people becoming sociopaths. I don't know how you guys do it but in trying to explain away the problems with Christianity you only make the system seem even worse.
"Everyone in hell hates each other and even wife and husband their children will all hate each other for eternity in hell."
"Those in heaven don't care about those damned to hell. Children in heaven don't care about their parents damned to hell."
So people in heaven are actually just like those in hell. Makes you wonder what the point is of having two different places.
Hmmm! That is indeed useful information. It makes me wonder, do I try for heaven where I'll have a 60 trillion year orgasm, admittedly a tranquil one, or do I just carry on living life as a sane person and try for an eternity of burning and torture in hell? What to do? What to do?
I expect that, for men, the 60 trillion year orgasm will be tranquil to limit the amount of ectoplasm being ejaculated, making sure there's enough to last. But, will it have to be self-induced or will there be celestial assistance? Hmmm! I wonder if you get your balls fondled for the duration, too?
I'm impressed with your ability to tell a person's race by their voice.
P.S. Good luck with that state of tranquility while having your eternal orgasm. It doesn't sound like any orgasm I've been a part of.
Prove a 'Hell' exists, first.
Troll4Life, I'm looking at you. Yes, I know you've returned, to infect this place with your inferior presence again. Matthew 10:14, bitch.
so he hears one guy on a video reading a story and now he's convinced he's going to be living in a state of orgasm for trillions of years watching the rest of us burning in hell.
Dude, really! Who's going to clean that up?
@Reynardine
I'm with you on that one.
Also, SIXTY TRILLION-TO-INFINITY ORGASMS?
And that thing about the monk, probably another yarn in the vein of Michelle Remembers , Mike Warnke, or Alberto Rivera.
I'm going to guess that Supine's point about the apathy of those in Heaven for (former) loved ones in Hell is that it's part and parcel of the infernal torments.
Unnerving thing is, this doesn't sound like something that would be out of place in Vincent Cheung's theology. (Well, the endless orgasm has an excellent chance of being out of place there, but besides that...)
Supine shows how much s/he knows about orgasm.
Children in heaven don't care about their parents damned to hell? So, hate exists in Heaven too?
The christian idea of heaven is hell.
Why would you want to live forever?
Let's look an infinity.
You said "if I'll be in heaven for 60 trillion years", that may seem like a long time to you but it is really nothing and I'll show you why.
Let's look at a scale from 1 to eternity, on that scale, let every 1 tick represent 60 trillion years. When you have lived for 60 trillion years in heaven, you have just reached 1 on the line from 0 to infinity. 60 trillion years more and you have reached 2 on the scale and so forth.
Even after having lived in heaven for 60 trillion of 60 trillion years, you have still only reached 1 on the scale from 0 to infinity.
Even after having lived for an infinity of years in heaven, you still have an infinity of years left!
I do not think you have thought this through, have you?
the OP is imagining a world where the omnipotent deity created a choice of two afterlives, in both of which everybody has to be a conscienceless, empathy-free sociopath for all eternity. and seems to think of this as a GOOD thing.
that might not be sufficient to pass the DSM-V's diagnostic criteria for sociopathic personality disorder, but i say it's close enough for internet posting.
"I'll be in heaven for 60 trillion years living in a state of orgasm, peace, and tranquility while they burn in hell for 60 trillion years"
Believing in something because you don't like the alternative is not the same as believing in something because it is right.
@Nomen Nescio: Knowing the precepts, they probably think the denizens of Heaven WILL be perfectly able to care about each other (assuming they don't get blinded to each other by God's glory, anyway). It's just that in this understanding, God "wiping every tear away" involves mind-blanking them to the existence of loved ones consigned to Hell, or at least dispelling the capacity for love they had for them. In effect, the family of belief takes INFINITE priority over the family of bloodline and oath.
Well when I'm in hell for 60 trillion years and one day I'll get to laugh at you since you apparently won't exist after that.
"In a state of orgasm" - I think I just got a new idea for a line of t-shirts.
their Judas money bag of "coolness" they received for a 70 or 80 years of partying on earth and being the "cool" peeps.
Somebody's still bitter that they didn't get to sit with the cool kids in the high school cafeteria.
"Everyone in hell hates each other"
I'm sure that, at this point, hell is a resort. So many engineers and scientists that it'll be air conditioned, there'll have been several revolutions to replace the leadership, plenty of people to keep us company...
"Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket." If you're going to ask the Buddha to bring you a pony for Buddhamas, why stop at a plastic rocket? Wish for a real, working Saturn V. Or maybe a Space Shuttle. (WITH the solid rocket boosters and the external fuel tank. Don't just settle for the orbiter!)
>if I'll be in heaven for 60 trillion years
People don't think shit like this through. I don't want to live anywhere forever, 60 trillion years, or even 6000 years. Especially if nothing about my condition would ever be altered in any way, good, or bad. I barely want to live now, and I'm not even 40 yet. As shitty as life is, at least there's a little variation every now and again.
So...basically this clown wants to go to Heaven so he can experience the same stuff that normal people already experience in our lives regularly? While being joyful that others are supposedly being tortured daily?
Religion really turns these people's minds into mush. Sickening.
Supine's infinite orgasms!
Fitting for someone with the screenname of Supine .
@tracer
I'll ask Siddhartha Claus for a lifelike Syd Barrett sex-bot myself! YUMMY!
That said....THAT MADE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE WHATSOEVER!
Jewnior Spokesweirdo seems to have gotten into Syd Barrett's...uh..."stuff"...to come up with that!
That said....image Dear, Santa;
Reducing heaven (assuming there is one) to physical orgasm says that this is not a very spiritual person.
And where did Supine get the figure of 60 trillion years? In Eternity time has no meaning whatsoever.
As to Gautama (The Buddha) not being Christian, please explain how he could have been. He lived about 600 years before Jesus. It would be a neat miracle for him to have been christian in the circumstance.
Supine, if your erection lasts longer than 4 hours, let alone your orgasm, its time to see a doctor.
"Children in heaven don't care about their parents damned to hell."
A lotta love doesn't exist in heaven, either, apparently.
"Sure, it's a terrifying way to bring eternal bliss to someone but at least it doesn't require people becoming sociopaths."
Well, if you lobotomize someone and they lose their ability to socialize with others (or the desire to), that's technically sociopathic. X3
Hmm. This sounds too familiar. It was trotted out by someone who assured me that they not only knew the person who experienced this vision, but that it contained things the witness couldn't possibly know. Oh, and it had been authenticated by church authorities.
So let me see if I have this right:
The Righteous will be swimming neck deep in sperm all the while watching Buddhists burn in hell?
That sounds just a little bit lower than heaven.
@ #1619341
There are lots of fundamentalists out there who insist that Moses and the patriarchs were Christians. Chronology, apparently, has nothing to do with it. Anyway, according to this idea, if the Buddha or any other pre-Christ individual wasn't saved it was because of their own pride (or perhaps because they were not one of the elect, depending on whom you ask).
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
