Well, the other thing I felt was that evil men, evil people, are going to try to do evil things to us and to others during the last part of this year. I don’t know whether it’ll be in the fall or September or later on, but it’ll be the second half, somehow, of 2007. There will be some very serious terrorist attacks. The evil people will come after this country. And there’s a possibility that—not a possibly, a definite certainty that chaos is going to rule, and the Lord said that the politicians will not have any solutions for it. There’s just going to be chaos. And, of course, we saw chaos in the Gulf after Katrina. The politicians had no answers—. It’s going to happen. And I’m not saying necessarily nuclear. The Lord didn’t say “nuclear,” but I do believe it’ll be something like that that’ll be a mass killing, possibly millions of people, major cities injured.
53 comments
I think that Pat is on to Dr. Evil's plans! We must alert him! Also, do you think that God pronounces is "nuclear," or "new-clear," like our esteemed president?
Thanks, Pat. Now off you go, back to your cell so you can calm down. We don't want any more incidents with strait jackets again, do we now?
God: Dude, whoa, are you high ? Man, talking to you is like playing Telephone with a three-year-old.
Seriously, Pat. stfu. Nobody cares.
Shit happened.
Shit is happening.
Shit will happen.
Shit may or may not happen.
That's really all you need to say, Pat old boot.
STFU now, there's a good ol' boy.
Pat as spoken, people of the United States!
Now give up all remaining civil liberties, because your temporary safety is the most precious thing you have!
Then worship the president as the Voice of God.
The very fantasy gives Pat a hard-on like no woman could.
Not even "fall or September", but "fall or September or later on".
Basically "at some point in the future, something will happen".
Wow, Nostradamus had nothing on this guy!
Well, it's October 4th...you've got 88 days left with 95 past.
Further objective comment: there's so much vagueness it's hard to have a feeling about it. September...no! [Autumn]! No! Second half of this year! No! This decade...
"The Lord didn’t say “nuclear,”"
Of course not. He pronounced it "nuke-you-lar."
This is like those mad christian-ish wackjobs who think that someone is going to drop a dirty bomb on the UN at some point in may 2004 october 2004 february 2005 august 2005 december 2005 march 2006 november 2006 summer 2007 december 2007, or some unspecified point in the future .
Doesn't the repeated fail ever give them the hint?
I predict that something bad will happen to a large group of people, near water, during the daytime, some time before the end of this month.
Thats an absolutely iron clad guarantee. It WILL come true.
(see also my other prophetic technique to achieve 100% accuracy... re: Sept/11... I made hundreds of predictions specifying exactly what and when events would occur, and to whom. In a bizare coinicidence, all surviving copies of these predictions happen to be ones with dates published September 12 and later... but they are 1`00% accurate predictions, NONE THE LESS!)
Jesus himself: the first of a long line of failed "End Times" prophets:
===================
Matthew 16:28
Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.
=====================
Mark 9:1
And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That there be some of them that stand here, which shall not taste of death, till they have seen the kingdom of God come with power.
==================
Luke 9:27
But I tell you of a truth, there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the kingdom of God.
==================
From this alone, it's pretty clear that he was going to return before the last of the Apostles died off. Didn't happen, did it? I'm an old man now, and there hasn't been a year of my life (since I was old enough to understand) that some moronic preacher hasn't been ranting that the "End Times" was "at hand." This year, in fact! Look at the SIGNS!
The fact that nothing happened that year, or the next, or any year they wanted to name didn't bother them in the slightest.
OOOOOooohhhh *waves fingers around*
I have a prophecy of something verrrry bad happening! People could die! Or not, maybe it'll just be a bad flu season or something. Nobody knows (except me) I can't tell anybody because the voices in my head *ahem* I mean GOD told me he would make it WORSE if I told. So I can't do that. But yeah, I am a prophet, and am totally talking to him, srsly 100% true. Nobody else is, just me.
Also, put a slice of bologna on your head and use a ballcap to hold in place. You can change it out once a month -- no more, no less. This will prevent disaster from happening to you.
And soon the elder gods will rise up and eat us all...
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'yleh wgah'nagl fhtagn...
Keep taking the chlorpromazine Pat.
FAIL!!!
Senile old coot....
You couldn't be a bit more vague, could you, Patty?
The Lord said that he would be back within the lifetime of his disciples, and they didn't know about "nuclear" then.
So, when did these evil things by evil people happen? I must have dozed off at the time...
Very serious terrorist attacks? Like these, perhaps?
image
image
image
"...And there’s a possibility thatnot a possibly(sic), a definite certainty that chaos is going to rule..."
And there's a possibility that -not a possibly(sic), a definite certainty that Pat Robertson is a fucking moron.
"...we saw chaos in the Gulf after Katrina...."
Ooh, imagine, chaos after a major hurricane. I'm sure no one could have predicted that would happen. Chaos can only be explained by the intervention of your specific supernatural sky-pixie exacting his revenge, right? No other possible logical natural explanation could have caused the chaos, right? It had absolutely nothimg to do with some major storm coming through and causing all kinds of problems including injuries and death and problems wth food, housing, communications or infrastructure, right?
Fucking moron.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.