Did you ever wonder why Halloween seems to primarily feed off of a market of 3-13 year olds? This is a Satanic ploy for our children. I don't think that Christian children should completely abstain from the festivities of costumes and candy, because they can be a light through their alternative behavior. [I personally plan on dressing my children up in Biblical and God-honoring characters that will draw people to ask questions.]
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Why am I imagining a flock of bipedal sheep at my gate on the night of Samhain? Ahh, they arrive in timely fashion, eager for their sacrifice mwahahahahaaaaa . Here, lambs...here is mead for your refreshment.
On Halloween, I plan to go out as Jesus. It probably won't be hard; I've already got long brown hair, pale skin, plenty of beard scruff, and I can get a white robe and leather sandals.
If they make the assumption that I'm a Christian, I'll politely inform them otherwise. Likely they will not respond with the same politeness.
The object is to see how many times I get condemned to hell for mocking their savior, then repeat next year and see if I can break that record.
"Did you ever wonder why Halloween seems to primarily feed off of a market of 3-13 year olds?"
No.
Did you ever wonder why there are some people who exist only to suck the life out of, well, LIFE??
Yes.
Like, "What the fuck is wrong with you that you'd ruin Halloween for your children?"
And
"Your kid is dressed as King David, huh? My kids are dressed as Micheal Myers, Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger, and your kid's charector has killed 1000 X more people than all 20+ movies put together. Now, WHO is the real psycho?"
And of course;
"Are you fucking serious?"
"Did you ever wonder why Halloween seems to primarily feed off of a market of 3-13 year olds?"
considering that I already know that Halloween = big candy sales, uhmmmm no.
"This is a Satanic ploy for our children."
Marketing ploy; see answer above.
I don't think that Christian children should completely abstain from the festivities of costumes and candy,
How magnanimous of you; I bet you harangue the kids on the evils of Halloween sometime during the party too.
"because they can be a light through their alternative behavior.[I personally plan on dressing my children up in Biblical and God-honoring characters that will draw people to ask questions.]"
I don't think turning little kids into little fundie-bots is going to convince anybody of anything. Plus it sounds positively dreary
Halloween is just another commercial Holiday that Christianity tried to make its own, but more or less failed since nobody pays any attention to All Saint's Day. Well at least they successfully stole Saturnalis, Mithras, and Ester.
Did you ever wonder why you fundies talk utter shite about Halloween? Because It's the one pagan festival christianity could not assimilate.
I do like your idea of dressing the kids up as biblical characters. I'm going to dress mine up as Herod and Pontius Pilate.
@King Duncan
"What kind of parent sucks all the joy out of a kid's life so thoroughly?"
No kidding! I mean good grief, why can you not just let the children enjoy themselves...and dressing your kids up as biblical characters is a surefire way of getting them beat up, to boot.
Yeah of course celebrating halloween is an unchristian thing to do.
Same as easter.
Convenient how the anniversary of christ's resurrection changes every year to fit more or less exactly with the spring equinox isnt it?
Face it, all your festivals are just pagan festivals with an extra level of bullshit on top.
Actually, this Biblical character idea could work within the Halloween setting. Here are a few:
John the Baptist - headless, with bloody head under arm (or Salome, with JTB's head on a plate)
Judas - guts spilling out or hangman's noose, depending on which Biblical version of his death one prefers.
Doubting Thomas - with blood dripping from the hand that he inserted into Jesus' wounds.
Jesus - with stigmata
Judith (Catholic and Orthodox kids only - apocrypha for others) - with bloody sword and holding Holofernes' severed head by the hair.
Lot's Wife - pillar of salt
Balaam's Ass - talking donkey
"Did you ever wonder why Halloween seems to primarily feed off of a market of 3-13 year olds?"
Gee, I've asked this same question about churches!
Nah, Halloween isn't a ploy by Satan. It's a ploy by an unholy coalition of the candy manufacturers and dentists.
Heck, it's a lot more plausible than what she's claiming.
That said, however, Halloween is a wonderful holiday, and while biblical costumes are kind of a strange restriction for children, they do allow for a few creative possibilities. And at least this woman allows her kids to participate in the fun, even if she's doing her darnedest to suck all the life out of it. (Hmmmm.... I wonder if she might dress up as a vampire? Nah, that's actually too close to reality -- like Dracula looking into a mirror, she just can't see herself for what she is.)
~David D.G.
MrBadAxe wrote:
"On Halloween, I plan to go out as Jesus. It probably won't be hard; I've already got long brown hair, pale skin, plenty of beard scruff, and I can get a white robe and leather sandals."
At one Halloween party I attended in 1989, there was this one guy who was wearing a damn-near perfect Jesus costume -- right down to the scars on his palms and the crown of thorns.
At one point during the party, as I was milling about the room among the other guests, I sneezed -- and then noticed that I was standing right next to "Jesus" when I did so. I'll give you one guess as to what he said to me. ;-)
Funny story: My brother was once dressed up by my mum as Moses.
No one asked questions about who he was or what he was dressed as, except for one person: They asked if he was a terrorist.
If I'd been a few years older I would've said yes.
That said, I grew up with the OP's kind of shit... Give me a break, for christssakes.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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