Insanity translator: ON.
'msgbox: Initial scan indicates 100% insanity saturation. This program translates everything saturated up to 75% insanity. If fails at first, retry with filtered result translation.'
Translation to insane: OFF
Translation from Insane: ON
Starting NOW... Please insert first paragraph for first iteration.
Input: "I received this morning an email containing this message: DON'T EVER MESS WITH US AGAIN, OUR COVEN AGAIN!!!"
Translation: I was constantly spamming wiccan site (forum part) and got my ass kicked. I've threatened them with hell and they replied with "Don't mess with us again. Our coven is peaceful place, and we don't want douche bags like you in here."
Insanity saturation 5%
Please insert second paragraph for first iteration
Input: "This was sent from Tina's coven that sadly has recaptured her again. They also sent a picture of a couple members of the cult & of Tina, she looked like she had been tortured."
Translation:"After I read message from the boards, I remembered the girl named Tina, from the forums. I've successfully converted her then met her IRL. Everything was right, until I took her to my fundie church and one asshole shot her. I thought she died, but her witch friends were able to get her back to life. She looked a little worn out, what with all those maggots and all."
Insanity saturation 50%
Please insert third paragraph for first iteration
Input:"I have been hesitant to share this for a few reasons, but I believe, we need the Body of Christ to intercede for Tina! Just a few weeks ago, Tina found herself in a different state, in a car that California tags on it, with blood splattered inside (we discovered it was probably from a dog she obtained from the Dallas County Humane Society). A part of Tina gave me information where she was located at but as soon as we got to her location, to rescue her, she had vanished! But we now know she back in her home state with the satanic cult."
Translation: “Now that Tina is zombie, I need magical artifact/creature called the Body of Christ to sleep with her and make her rest in peace. Just a few weeks ago, Tina (who can’t move during day now, since she’s a zombie) found herself in different state, in morgue car with California tags on it, with blood splattered inside (which me and inner me discovered it was from a dog she run over previous night). A part of Tina (her left hand, a friendly lad I like to call Thing, like from Adams family) typed information where she was located, but as soon as me, inner me and Thing got to her location, she was already gone. Now I know she’s back in graveyard with her undead friends.
Insanity saturation 74%
Please insert fourth paragraph for first iteration
Input: “Let's believe God again for a supernatural rescue in Jesus name!”
Translation:“Let’s ask our imaginary friend for something highly unlikely in his son’s name!”
Insanity level 50%
Total insanity level 60%. Start second iteration? Yes.
Translation: “Help me. I don’t fit anywhere, I just got mail that proves it. And these damn voices won’t leave me alone. I ask help and support from people who share my delusions, but they don’t call professionals. Oh, god. Here they come again. They are going to get me, like they got Tina, part of me. Oh, NOOOOOOO.”
Complete. Insanity level 5%. Unable to clear it more.