RE: Bi friend calling herself lesbian but dating TIMs

( arete )
Has she ever dated or expressed the desire to date any other man? If the answer is no, then it's possible that she is indeed a lesbian who has been gaslighted into accepting TIMs as women and that as a lesbian, she's obligated to include them in her dating pool. I would point out to her that transgenderism is a form of conversion therapy for homosexuals, and ask her to define woman. What does she think women are, if not a material reality grounded in biology?

( jennyd92 )
In the time I've known her she hasn't dated any normal men, or seemed to show any interest. She's shown me pictures of TIMs she's met on Tinder, saying she doesn't see them any different from "other women" (her words 🤢), and that her attraction counts as lesbian because of this. Even giving the benefit of the doubt of angles, filters and AI-malarky people use nowadays on dating apps, I really don't get how that translates once she actually meets them. Like to me there is 0% chance you could mistake a TIM for a woman even from an unedited photograph so saying she feels this way in person is honestly sickening.

I really feel that she's been gaslit, and maybe a bit isolated because of the "lockdown" nonsense we've endured the past few years.

Based on all the comments here I think I'm going to be persistent but try and be more subtle/less pushy about it. Slow and steady wins the race 😅

( WhichWitchAmI )
The TIM’s will eventually betray her. Maybe tell her one last time that lesbians don’t have sex with penis-havers and then wait for a crack to appear in her convictions. It’s nearly impossible to change a person’s mind when he or she has become defensive.

Or establish your boundaries—that you’re not going to lie about biology and that if she can’t accept that, your friendship will have to focus on other topics or activities. Be ready to talk about it if she brings it up but don’t push unless you’re willing to have it blow up on you.

( GenZ-ProWoman )
Ugh. This is a different situation but I had a close college friend who I bonded with talking historically and academically about female oppression. Once I lightly mentioned men identifying as women taking female resources and she was immediately on the defensive, making sure I knew trans women are NOT a problem because TWAW.[...]