Welcome to Fundies Say the Darndest Things

You’re looking at an archive of the most hilarious, bizarre, ignorant, bigoted, and terrifying quotes from fundies all over the internet.

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Stephen Green #fundie christianvoice.org.uk

Uganda is not ‘persecuting’ ‘people of differing beliefs or sexual orientation.’

Uganda is seeking to prevent well-funded Western homosexuals from corrupting their youth and their society.

Make no mistake, there would be no pro-sodomy movement in Uganda or anywhere in Africa were it not funded from America and Europe.

[slightly further down the comments]

Let’s just get one thing clear. The only homosexual killed recently in Uganda was activist David Kato. So was he put to death by the state? No. Was he perchance assassinated by a homophobic mob? No. He was murdered by his rent-boy lover in a row about fees for sexual services.

So if you are a political leader who wants to save ‘gay people’s lives’, the best thing you can do is crack down on acts of sodomy and all the gay subculture, whilst encouraging the Church to preach Jesus Christ and the saving and healing power of his precious blood. And that power is available to you, too, Chris.

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Stephen Green #fundie christianvoice.org.uk

Her Majesty’s Government can no more change the definition of marriage than they can declare that God does not exist.

But they have done so, and as Her Majesty always acts on the advice of her ministers she has, and not for the first time, legislated against her Coronation Oath.

As we saw on Monday, the homosexuals will now be targeting freedom of speech and Christianity itself. When will the gay hate speech Bill next raise its ugly head? Who will be the first Christian teacher sacked for refusing to teach that ‘gay shows the way’? Which will be the first church taken to court for refusing a ‘gay wedding’? Watch this space.

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Stephen Green #fundie christianvoice.org.uk

So these are the only two examples you can find of Christian ‘extremism’. But the Westboro Baptist People are not bombing public transport or murdering infidels. Witchcraft is a big problem in Africa. And so is the corruption of young people by western sex tourists.

It is pandering to the evil of sodomy which results and will result in misery. Opposing it and delivering people from same-sex attraction is a good thing.

The only ‘hilarious’ thing about our post on Michael Gove forbidding teaching of Creation or Intelligent Design was how all the evolutionists promised ‘mountains of evidence’ for evolution and when pressed, didn’t have any at all.

Atheism is even more superstitious than the worst non-Christian religious belief. Despite the evidence, atheists retain a blind faith in the goodness of man. Atheists also put themselves above other human beings as a supposedly more ‘highly-evolved’ or more intelligent class of people, who alone have the right to boss the rest of us around.

As for you, yes, you are a sinner in need of repentance and a new life in Jesus Christ. But you clearly believe in the power of prayer. That’s a start.

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Robin #fundie christianvoice.org.uk

Scottish historian Niall Ferguson put a public apology on his website yesterday after suggesting that the spend-your-way-out-of-recession approach of economist John Maynard Keynes was inspired by his homosexuality. (Read the BBC report, ‘Niall Ferguson apology over Keynes remarks.’)

[....]

Despite his retraction, Christian Voice believes Dr. Ferguson was right the first time. We have reported on the British economist John Maynard Keynes before, showing how his rejection of the Biblical “sowing and reaping principle” in favour of immediate gratification formed the basis both of his deviant sexual lifestyle and his economic theories. Recognizing the obvious connection between Keynes’ personal life and his economic theory is not a matter of sexual prejudice, but of history.
A paedophile who governed his life by the principle that “in the long run we are all dead”, Keynes was himself the first to suggest that his approach to economic policy was inspired by his immoral life. Keynes wrote, “When the accumulation of wealth is no longer of high social importance, there will be great changes in the code of morals. We shall be able to rid ourselves of many pseudo-moral principles which have hag-ridden us for two hundred years….”
As this quotation suggests, it is simply not possible to disengage Keynes’ economic theories from his worldview – a worldview deeply rooted in the deviance of his personal life. That is why we believe that Niall Ferguson was right the first time.

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Christian Voice #fundie christianvoice.org.uk

Richard Dawkins is so concerned that the atheist message is dying on its feet that he is to fund a humanist evangelistic campaign, Christian Voice has learned.

But in a twist which will have Christians in gales of laughter, the advertising campaign, which will be based on the catchy slogan 'There is probably no God. Now stop worrying and get on with your life,' is to be stuck on bendy-buses.

Apparently, an atheist blogger named Jon Worth came up with the idea, but his fellow humanists, not known for their generosity, wouldn't stump up the cash. Now Richard Dawkins, whose anti-Christian zeal knows little bounds, is to finance the doomed venture....Stephen Green, National Director of Christian Voice, said today:

'I should be surprised if a quasi-religious advertising campaign like this did not attract graffiti. People don't like being preached at. Sometimes it does them good, but they still don't like it.'

[The Atheist Bus Campaign, which aimed to raise £5,500, reached its target within hours of launch and has raised over £100,000 in 3 days]

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Stephen Green, Director Christian Voice #fundie christianvoice.org.uk

'How these poor people need the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and how our nation needs to repent of its corporate sin. Facing thousands of gesticulating, hate-filled, aggressive gays, observing so many hell-bound souls and watching as such a degrading spectacle goes by is not a pleasant experience. But if Christians do not voice some disapproval of national sin, as the Holy Spirit-filled prophets did in their day, we aren't fulfilling our calling of being salt or light. In a dysfunctional nation already under judgment, who knows what worse judgment than what we have already might come if we do not keep up our prayer and witness against evil. So it isn't nice to do, but there is a sense in which prophetic witness is a bit like cleaning out the toilets - it's a mucky job, but someone has to do it.'

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Steven Green #fundie christianvoice.org.uk

[from a article about not abolishing the Blasphemy Laws]

This is not the beginning of a 'slippery slope'

Oh, yes it is! While most MPs were busy debating blasphemy last Thursday night, three of them slipped away to put down an Early Day Motion for disestablishment of the Church of England. The motion came out with the number 666. Is God trying to tell us something?

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PhysBrit #fundie christianvoice.org.uk

The astonishing result of the fourth and final [cricket] Test Match between England and Pakistan came after an extraordinary prayer from the leader of a prominent Christian group that God would 'judge' the Pakistan team for their attempt to promote Islam during the Test series.

During the first Test Match, much was made of the communal Islamic faith of the Pakistan team, their five-times-a-day prayer sessions and how Yousuf Mohammed's conversion from Christianity to Islam had helped his batting. The National Director of Christian Voice, prayed that God would judge the Pakistan team for their promotion of Islam in this Christian nation. Incredibly, Pakistan lost the second Test by an innings and promptly lost the Third as well. But what would happen in the final Test? Before it started, Stephen Green penned a short piece for the Christian Voice newsletter. The final paragraph concluded:

'What will happen at the Oval? Will Pakistan be further humbled, or will they pick up a crumb of comfort in a win? We could even sense some of God's heart for our nation in the result. How much mercy is He extending to us? What is He saying about the prospects of the very real threat of Islam? Am I looking for too much in a cricket match? Perhaps, but I know what I shall be praying for.'

[As it was, Pakistan forfeited the match... See rest of post]