Satan's bowels began to churn and growl, and they began to give him awful pain. Then he felt a strong urge to expel excrement. When he did so, it gave off the most awful smell. His excrement is the american constitution and its amendments.
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I'm not American, I don't live there, I have never gone there and I probably never will, but still I can say: If you don't like it GET THE FUCK OUT and go live somewhere else! (Other then Australia).
Is that a truckload of burning irony meters I smell?
Apparently it completely escapes this moron that the only reason he can practice his perversion of christianity is that constitution and its amendments. And it is also the only reason he can speak out in this manner without fear of being brutally silenced...or worse.
Talk about biting the hand that feeds you...
Woah, wait, if the US Constitution came from Satan, does that mean it works for use in traditional Satanist rituals? Cool! That's worth giving a try...
This just leaves more questions unanswered.
Are you then proposing that satan didn't intend to create the constitution, but instead, it was merely a digestive byproduct?
Also, what did he eat to produce this kind of excrement?
Did he know that what he ate would cause this to happen?
Also, why did it have an awful smell?
While we're on the subject, what is satan doing shitting anyway? I thought he was supernatural. Do supernatural beings shit? Does god shit?
Furthermore, you say "his excrement is," implying a singular shit. This implies that "the constitution and its amendments" are one giant turd. Now, the document was first made in 1787 and the last amendment was added in 1992. So, it can be said that satan was shitting for 205 years. It is also possible (and probable) that this is not the end of the amendments. I think it's safe to say that satan will be shitting for quite a while.
I've always wanted to say this to a fundie member of the Reich Wing.
Don't like it, then get the fuck out.
Robert T. Lee's bowels began to churn and growl, and they began to give him awful pain around his already constricted head. Then he felt a strong urge to expel excrement. When he did so, it gave off the most awful smell. His excrement is his website on the american constitution and its amendments.
This guy has it backwards.
Shrub didn't shit OUT the constitution. He's shitting ON the constitution.
@Booley
Sadly, it seems not, we have many quotes from this guy expressing similar sentiments, if he's a Poe he's a very persistent one.
Yeah, let's get rid of it.
BTW, you now all have to join the Church of England.
So, yeah... Hop to it, chip, chop.
Robert T. Lee is an ignorant fuckwit.
Irony overload nomination. Watch Robert T. Lee curse and spit upon the very document that protects his wingnut religious beliefs. That's right, Bobby, it's only thanks to Satan's excrement that you can pray and plead publicly for theocracy.
Moron.
He hates blacks and Jews, and everybody else, and he wants to legalise cock-fighting and dog-fighting. That puts him in a trailer park in a scrubby Georgian field outside Atlanta, and in a job sweeping floors at Walmart. He is certifiably insane, and should be locked away in a secure mental institution for his own safety and for that of the unfortunate people who live around him. He should never come to England.
I can totally relate, cause this one time, I had like way too many burritos at Taco Bell. That dump took like four hours to complete. I found out later that L. Ron Hubbard was totally interested in buying my dump. Long story short, Dianetics.
That's the beauty of this country. If you don't like it, you can leave! No no one will stop you at the border. No one will try to change your mind.
Go. Get the fuck out of my country and take your fundie, bigoted, screwed up, backwards belief system with you. This country of freedom doesn't need scum like you.
Oh, this idiot again.
I wonder why Mr. Lee doesn't just move somewhere more fitting to his mindset. Like, say, a desert in the Middle East.
Also, Edwardo wins an internet.
Unholy Shit!
Firstly, Sata, assuming he exists, is a spirit. This means he has no physical body. Therefore he cannot shit.
Secondly, being a spirit, he does not eat, so there would be nothing to create even spiritual shit.
Thirdly, you are being unAmerican and unpatriotic. And it was this sort of attitude that got the early Christians into trouble with the Roman authorities and had them martyred as a result. I do so hope this happens to you. Please advise me so I can come and watch you being thrown to the lions in Los Angeles Colosseum. I'll give you a wave just before you get gobbled.
"Satan's bowels began to churn and growl, and they began to give him awful pain. Then he felt a strong urge to expel excrement. When he did so, it gave off the most awful smell."
Sounds like he had some Pumpernickel bread. Oddly enough, Pumpernickel apparently means "Devil's Fart."
"His excrement is the american constitution and its amendments."
Hey now. Watch it pal. If you don't like it you can leave any time you'd like.
I never thought I'd say this, ever, but here we have the second time in my life Robert T. Lee has made me say: "If you hate America so much, why don't you leave?"
I mean, normally that's grunted by idiots who don't understand constructive criticism is the province of genuine concern, but Robert really just hates everything America was conceived to be and wants to replace it with some kind of weird theocratic feudalism.
And yet it's the first amendment that protects your right to post stuff like this? Do you not get it or are you a hypocrite?
Or do you not live in the USA?
I'm voting for the third answer. For several reasons.
Well, I figure if Satan's shit is a good working prototype of an improved form of human government, think of the good He could produce if He legitimately published something along the same line. Perhaps Satan will save us from the megalomaniac stupidity and flawed power structures of fallible human government, if we asked Him nicely.
He predicts these responses on the page:
The answers to America's ills are so radical, that if they were presented to the backwards American government and gullible public, they would appear to them as unpatriotic and treasonous.
The page also features the most amazing, pure example of a tautological statement I have ever seen:
One cannot have thoughts of a true GOD without actually thinking of the true God, because there is no true God other than the true God. In other words, one cannot imagine a true God without actually thinking of the true God. There are no imaginations of the true God apart from actually thinking of the true God. The true God is not a God of the imagination.
So basically, you hate the exact same constitution that gives you the freedom to say such crap and practice your own moronic version of Christianity? Since you hate that so much, move to another country-just not one with similar rights, like, well, dozens of nations ranging from Britain to Japan? Yeah, that leaves you a few choices, none of them particularly Christian nor pleasant.
But it'd be really funny for me to see you trying to preach fundamentalist Christianity in the middle of fundamentalist Muslim Iran, so please, by all means, go there. (: We're all gonna be rooting for you, Robert T. Lee!
The moment I started worrying about this guy was when he considered Satan as a regular joe(he says, to demonstrate that atheism is a product of Satan, "ask Satan if........". Oh yes, as if I had his phone number!!!)
Knowing him, he regards the original "food" that the Satan took was his own scorn for slavery under God. Yes, Lee really does regard being a slave to God as the absolute best state of existence one can have. Therefore, freedom from God's decrees to any magnitude is unalloyed chimera.
As for his freedom to preach theocracy...He probably regards that as not granted by the Constitution, but by God himself (remember that he regards freedom to seek anything OTHER than Christian theocracy as being inherently blasphemous). Although he probably sees it more as a blessed duty than a freedom, considering his low opinion of the latter concept. Too much focus on "It is not given to man to even direct his step", mayhaps?
{sigh} You keep forgetting--he thinks Moslem theocracy is exactly as loathsome as democracy, for one and the same reason. That reason being that neither is in perfect consonance with the laws of the Torah (excepting the ritual laws, like not eating shellfish or other tamei food, that the Christ dispelled). Although...if God is supposed to be above questioning, does that mean he believes that God's holiness would be compromised if he were made subject to the laws of good and evil, the precepts of morality?
@Dorkman
Satan's bowels began to churn and growl,
The scent of eggs filled the room,
I might continue later, but I have work now.
Damn, that's a nasty fetish you got, buddy. I kinda feel sorry for you.
OTOH, who knows, maybe he's enjoying it...
Move to Afganistan then. The american constitution seems to be working rather well. If it wasn't it would not have been in use for so long.
Points for visualization, minus points for pre-school mentality.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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