One cannot consciously choose one’s sexuality. The only way you could become asexual is to castrate yourself. Actually, go ahead.
You know, I have sort-of been there. While I was never at risk of the misogyny and nihilism that truly defines incels, and I have never felt worthless, as I always had my intellect at the solid centre of my self-image and zoology as my clear calling, but, throughout my teenage years and, to a lesser degree, in early adulthood, I was very sexually frustrated, and I so often believed no woman would ever want me.
There were times when I tried to talk myself out of it. That sex were beneath me. That I would not find satisfication with a partner. Even that it would be good for my genes to not carry over to the next generation. But this never worked, and I always knew it was futile, since these desires were true and from deep within my heart.
I hit the lowest point in early 2017, when I was 22/23. But eventually, it got so bad that I had to make a breakthrough, which happened at Easter. At this time, I also - perhaps triggering it, perhaps being motivated by it, probably both - started to really begin working towards independence.
I am 25 now. I am still single, and not exactly happy about that. But I now have built myself hope and confidence that, even though I often feel like I have no idea where to start, my desire for love and family will eventually be fulfilled. And this gives me strength, as well as both warm and hot fantasies, for the time until then.
