My Jeep Liberty has the picture below on the wheel cover, the only difference being that the wheel cover is black and the print is silver. I also have my lovely Rapture Ready bumper sticker on the bumper.
So's here's what happened tonight. I went to the grocery store to pick up a prescription that I phoned in. There wasn't a car parked in front of my Jeep when I left the store, so I walked that way to the driver's door around and didn't go around the back of the Jeep. I put the Jeep in reverse and it felt like I hit something or had a flat tire. I put the Jeep in park, went around to the back of the Jeep and there was a shopping cart on the ground. There was no wind to blow the cart there. (I wish we had some wind - it would have blown away all the leaf burning smoke that was burning my sinuses.) The cart had to have been put there deliberately.
I thought about Matthew 5:11 as I was driving home. "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecuteyou, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake." To whoever didn't like my wheel cover, that's okay. I forgive you. I just hope you remember the Rapture Ready website address you must have saw on my bumper sticker and check it out. And I promise I won't put a shopping cart behind your car if I see something on it that I don't like.
108 comments
Suffer the little ones to come unto me and do not hinder their 30,000 dollar SUV with thine shopping carts, lest you ding the bumper or mar the paint, then my little one will be forced to get a ride to the body shop where his full coverage insurance shall surely foot the bill. So sayeth the lord, our beloved jesus christ, only son of god and part-time insurance adjuster. Amen.
I went to the grocery store to pick up a prescription...
This one time in the zoo, I was talking to this man about Jesus and suddenly a lion leaped at me. I just prayed and it sat down in front of me and gave me a kind look. Praise the lord for delivering me from the persecution caused by whoever set that lion free to kill me.[/sarcasm]
Blast! They have uncovered our dastardly plan of placing shopping carts behind their gas-guzzling SUVs so that the few of them who are too stupid to look bump them....and cause negligible cosmetic damage to a square centimeter of their bumper!!!!!
There wasn't a car parked in front of my Jeep when I left the store, so I walked that way to the driver's door around and didn't go around the back of the Jeep.
Besides, how do you know that the guy knew you were a Christian?, or that the shopping cart CAN BE MOVED BY THE WIND?. Listen, after hearing people who have been killed in the gas chamber, like Edith Stein, or thrown to the lions, like the first Christians, you sound ridiculous, SPECIALLY WHEN YOU CAN AFFORD A ROVER.
I notice you were very quick to BRAG about your SUV, Right from the start you identified it as the luxury, road hog, gas guzzler, Jeep Liberty.
I promise I won't put a shopping cart behind your car if I see something on it that I don't like.
If you read the rest of the thread, it became a debate about whether or not she actually was persecuted, with one camp defending her, and the other camp laughing at her.
You didn't check behind your car before pulling out, so you hit a cart. You have no proof whatsoever that it was put there by someone intentionally, let alone ANY evidence that, if anyone did do it deliberately, it had anything to do with your religion. It could have been wind putting it there before you came out of the store; it could have been just gravity letting it roll downhill to your car. It could even have been just carelessly and thoughtlessly shoved there by whoever put groceries into a car next to yours; people do all kinds of harmful or potentially harmful things that properly should be chalked up to stupidity and inconsideration rather than outright malice. Your entire case of "persecution" is nothing but sheer fantasy.
Stop being an arrogant, whiny, selfish bitch. Next time - and every time - make sure it's safe to back up before you go into reverse. Otherwise, there could be a child or an animal there, and just because you can't wait for your sorry ass to be raptured up to heaven, it doesn't mean it's OK for you to rupture anyone else on the way.
Oh, fuck off will you?true victims of persecution.
Such as Anne Frank and about 6,000,000 other people who shared her faith.
My history teacher doesn't like it when you repeat a noun more than once in a paragraph. He'd go apeshit over the middle paragraph:Jeep when I left the store, so I walked that way to the driver's door around and didn't go around the back of the Jeep . I put the Jeep in reverse and it felt like I hit something or had a flat tire. I put the Jeep in park, went around to the back of the Jeep and there was a shopping cart on the ground. There was no wind to blow the cart there. (I wish we had some wind - it would have blown away all the leaf burning smoke that was burning my sinuses.) The cart had to have been put there deliberately.
Granted, I'm not saying that every post on the internet has to be essay-worthy. But still, you shouldn't repeat a noun 5 times in one paragraph, especially one that short.
I wasn't Satan or a heathen persecuting you for your faith, you twit, it was Gawd giving you a "Seashell Moment".
...Has anyone ever , in the history of the Earth , ever maliciously placed a goddamn shopping cart ?!
Yeah sure thing , tell that one to your insurance company ..
Archaeopath: After following your link, I sat and read the "Normal Bob Smith" site for a whole afternoon! I've seen his magnets/ paper dolls before, but I wasn't aware of the comic. Parts of it made me laugh so hard I was crying.
Backing into a shopping cart because you didn't bother to look isn't persecution, it's negligent stupidity. Nobody fucking cares about your bumper sticker.
Carts roll on the slightest incline, and they stop as soon as the land evens out. Whatever inconsiderate pighead didn't put the cart away in the corral placed their cart on an incline. It just so happened that your car was on even ground. The cart rolled, and stopped once it hit the even ground...directly behind your car.
Well, maybe it was put intentionally by somebody, but, if she has no proofs that it was because of her sticker, she can´t take for granted that she was persecuted(I think she isn´t). Besides, look at the car. All Jeeps are now the target of vandals in the urban medium, NOT BECAUSE OF CHRISTIANITY BUT BECAUSE OF ENVY. They want to mock arrogant people(or think they are) who use the car in town for no good reason. The problem is that this idiot is so fanatic about her beliefs that, among 10,0000 possibilities at least, she choses the most improbable.
And I remember this idiot mentioned another proof of "persecution", alleging that Walmart is encouraging its staff to say happy holidays instead of merry Christmas, a practice that a catholic country like Spain is doing from the edge of time. Can´t this idiot understand that it´s not persecution, that it´s only a sale strategy BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT SURE THAT EITHER THE CUSTOMER IS CHRISTIAN OR THAT THE ITEMS ARE GOING TO BE USED ON CHRISTMAS?. I feel a little offended about the fact that she takes the notion of persecution in such a light way.
child or an animal there,
How many times is this bitch going to mention that she drives a Jeep? She could have just said "my car". I guess she is under the assumption that everyone would be hella impressed by the fact that she drives an SUV.
No Redhunter the shoping cart is sin, its part of the trinity. Here I'll explain,
Wow, being gassed, tied to a fence and beaten, yelled at and called a sinner every day has NOTHING on a shopping cart blocking your SUV!
Oh my gosh...cruches and then with a cane , for a whole two months! I've never experienced some horrendous persecution--I'm lucky to be alive, really.
It was even worse than those times when I go shopping and hordes of people flood the store, block my cart and get in my way. They do it on purpose! Everybody! Everybody goes shopping at the same time that I do, just to get in my way.
But I forgive them.
What the fucking hell?roll ! The slightest incline is enough to send a shopping cart rolling, and many are wobbly and less likely to go straight. No one put the cart behind your car deliberately; someone forgot to secure their cart or didn't secure it properly and it rolled away! At most, someone left it there while loading their own car and absent-mindedly forgot about it.
Here's a hint: If someone really wanted to damage your wheel cover, they wouldn't have left a shopping cart behind your car, because a shopping cart behind your car wouldn't damage your wheel cover , unless you're a really bad driver who backs up without looking. Naturally, a stranger wouldn't know this.
There are people being persecuted today. Look at North Korea! Look at Iran! Yet here you are, near the top of the political heirarchy in the United States, a member of a voting block that persecutes others , complaining that you're being persecuted because a shopping cart rolled behind your car and you backed up without looking, thus suffering minor cosmetic damage to your vehicle.
That's not persecution. That's negligence that should cost you your driver's license, and an insult to anybody who's been truly persecuted.
Okay, beyond not checking her rearview mirror before reversing, how fucking fast was she backing up?! I've been bumped by my mother's car while she was reversing (the gear shift is a bit sticky and sometimes doesn't click into Drive) and I was perfectly fine. Because, you know, she accelerated the way a normal person does when coming out of park. Slowly .
You know when you're walking in the opposite direction as somebody, and you try to go one way to avoid them, but they go the same way, and then you both go back the other way over and over and over? Yeah, atheists invented that to persecute you too. :p
Actually, people position shopping carts like that because they don't give enough of a shit to put them back when they're done. It happens at Wal-Mart, which should confirm that there's no anti-Christian conspiracy.
Oh yes, someone totally put that there. In fact, it was me. Glad that you wont't return the favor if my car is rocking a little, though.
I thought about Matthew 5:11 as I was driving home.
Instead I'm thinking about one of the basic rules I used to teach my driving students - always check behind your vehicle if you are going to reverse. Along with a better idea - always back into a parking space instead of driving in.
@Ed: "...Has anyone ever, in the history of the Earth, ever maliciously placed a goddamn shopping cart?!"
I'm afraid I have to own up to having done that. I once tied a shopping trolley to the house door of a neighbour who'd pissed me off. In my defence I was both very drunk and a student. In his defence I was, er, both very drunk and a student.
Can't even remember now what he did to piss me off.
Oh, jesus h. fucking christ. You should visit the Wal-Mart here, it happens at least 50 times a day. People do that because they're lazy. I hate it too, but I don't attribute it to divine intervention. I attribute it to those who follow divine bullshit (the population here is about 98% christian, and I think about 80% of those are conservative).
Diane, you aren't persecuted. You are, however, an idiot driver. If you were stupid enough to not check around your vehicle before departing, you deserve the dings in your paint.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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