I just realised I am disgusted by 99.9999% of people on the planet
Even disgusted by people who have done nothing wrong to me.
When I look over social media, I expect that I should feel envy, or jealousy, but I dont feel any envy or jealousy, I just feel disgust, and feel like I've dodged a bullet by being autistic and not a generic normie. I can't explain why exactly, but it's almost like a sense of relief in a way?
Often I feel like Im missing out on something, but then I realise 99.999% of peoples lives are fucking generic and shit, even Chads from highschool I knew who are 30+ now, they're with fat ugly girlfriends, going on generic holidays around the world, all of them, I thought were special, are just living generic shitty lives, and none of them look as good as I actually remember. This goes for all the Staceys and Beckies, theyre all fat and disgusting now.
What exactly is the purpose of all of this? I don't even know where to go next, everyone seems boring, shitty, lame, and generic as fuck.
This is NOT COPE. I repeat, this is NOT COPE. I generally want to feel envy and jealous looking at other peoples lives, because it makes it simple for me to understand what makes me feel the way I do, but I just dont, I feel nothing but disgust and as if im better off the way I am. It would be 100% easier in my mind to feel envy and jealousy, but feeling DISGUST is really strange, I don't know where to go from here. If I don't want the life of the normie, why am I sad all the time about not being a normie? What the fuck am I supposed to do?