I've seen the Lord do some things to demons that I could not have thought of - like cutting the tongue out of a lying spirit and sending it back to me. It took some time to figure out what had happened because it reappeared speaking in sign language.
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...and then you woke up, right?
I tried going back to the original thread and I'm still not sure what this guy is talking about.
Anythings possible... with the power of Imagination!
@Skyknight
I peeked at the thread, the other posts are equally incomprehensable.
Am I the only one who stopped for a bit at the end of the first sentence thinking this guy found a tongue in his mailbox/on his porch and assumed god had put it there?
To the actual quote: I've got some drugs here you should probably be taking.
I've seen the Lord do some things to demons that I could not have thought of - like cutting the tongue out of a lying spirit and sending it back to me.
Yeah, that sounds like the fundie's God, alright. He can poof an entire universe into existence in six days, but He can't just poof away humanity - He has to go through an elaborate, Rube Goldberg process of having Noah build a boat, then collecting up all the animals, then making it rain and inundate the earth, then making the water disappear again and sending the animals back to their native homes. Then everything reproduced until it undid the whole point of the destruction in the first place - something He presumably should have foreseen.
If He can cut out demons' tongues, why can't He do something useful, like cutting out somebody's malignant brain tumor?
Tongues are OK - just watch out if He sends you a horse's head.
Yeah, it took me a few repeated readings to figure out that the "it" which his god sent back to this guy was the demon, not the tongue.
*Does not call the cops after all*
You get a severed tongue in the mail and you think it's the work of god. My first thought would have been, "work of a serial killer."
well, god has done that too... so maybe we are thinking the same thing.
That means I need to go see my doctor and get some meds turned up to 11. I recommend the same to you.
Your silly little god can cut the tongue out of a "demon," yet can't stop someone from taking a little girl into the woods, raping and killing her, and tossing her lifeless corpse into a river/shallow grave/landfill/car trunk?
What a fucking evil piece of shit your faggy god is.
Of course you have, but then, you don't have any proof, like, say, the actual tongue of a demon, do you?
Insanity, thy name is Ministering Deliverance.
On a more serious note: These guys are either:
a)epic Trolls
b)the largest known community of schizophreniacs
c)lying for The Lord
d)drug abusers par excellence
or
e)all of the above.
One: That wasn't "the Lord", that was some misguided idiot who believed in demons ASSAULTING SOMEONE AND CUTTING OUT THEIR TONGUE.
Two: I suspect you were trying to be funny. You FAILED. Miserably.
Three: DEMONS DON'T EXIST.
Been a while since I've seen anything from the Ministering Deliverance nuts. They never fail to amuse. You really have to give Rich here credit for coming up with the idea of a demon using sign language. I mean, it's not like an evil being from the nether world could use some sort of magic to communicate, like telepathy. No, the demon had to use sign language just like a human would.
I don't get it. This is the kind of logic that only makes sense when you're on a drug trip. No, wait, this is the kind of logic that only makes sense to psychos. When people are on drug trips their thoughts are at least slightly understandable.
Is it wrong of me that I think this actually sounds like a pretty cool D&D encounter (Or just something in some other fantasy game/book)? Because it would be creative and pretty nifty. Why can't this guy DM for me? Dammit, DM, why can't you be more like this guy?
The question is, why would he do that?. And what is sin anyway, according to your messed theology, if God is so...............you know, impredictable?
Whenever our rabbits and kittens are asleep or off outside somewhere, playing, Satan's demons materialize in our home. They sure are ugly critters. I say, " What the hell are you revolting mutant goat boys doing here again?"
It's usually, "Having a rest from the predations of next-door's hamster", or, "There's a nasty butterfly in the garden".
Sometimes, in order to get rid of them I say, "Look guys, there's a fundamentalist cult about three streets away. Go and bug 'em".
"Oh! Goody! Goody!", they say. "We can easily master whole religions and fundamentalist cults and torment the fuck out of them. It's just that we're afraid of rabbits, butterflies, atheists, and the like".
And off they go. Straight for the religious nutters who they know will play their game.
" it reappeared speaking in sign language."
It would be easier to send an email, so I doubt this really happened.
"I've seen the Lord do some things to demons that I could not have thought of - like cutting the tongue out of a lying spirit and sending it back to me."
Cool story, bro. Y'know RichVA, there's just five words that can completely destroy your claim:
Pics or it didn't happen.
Duhhhh..... wa?----....
image
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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