[Excerpt from a satirical piece depicting "the year 2035, after the gender clinics have been closed"]

The number of self-declared wizards has surged in recent years. Years ago, there were only a handful of wizards - mostly middle-aged men who discovered late in life that they were not “mundanes” (the wizard name for non-wizards), they were wizards! Now kids as young as four years old are surprising their parents with the statement, “Mom, Dad - I’m a wizard!” New subreddit groups are starting every day!

How do these kids know they are wizards? It’s an inner feeling of self, and if a child feels it, the only treatment is to start “wizard affirmation care” or “WAC”, prescribed by wizard doctors. Wizard clinics are opening everywhere! The care starts with a daily cocktail of legal drugs that are used in an off-label way: It’s typically a special mix of LSD, anabolic steroids, thalidomide, and fentanyl, all used to enhance wizard capabilities. Surgical modifications include lopping off body parts and reshaping them into humps, tails, fangs, beards, wings, and just about anything a wizard can think of. Most wizard doctors are former gender doctors, so they are ready and eager to experiment on healthy bodies, never mind the harm. Wizards are very secretive about their magic, and will not demonstrate it to non-believers, but find their magic is very helpful in sports.

Some skeptics are concerned that this new “wizard industry” is too similar to the old “gender industry”, where kids as young as five years old would claim they were “born in the wrong body”, and gender doctors would give them drugs and perform surgeries so these kids could “live their authentic life”. With no biological basis for such claims and no evidence of improved mental health, the gender industry fell apart under a wave of lawsuits followed by criminal trials where hundreds of doctors were charged with gross negligence, making death threats against children, and advocating suicide, though many doctors escaped jail-time claiming they were just following AMA-approved “standards of care”.