This guy comes home from work, "Hi Honey, what's for supper?" "Whatever you're fixing." You know, she just got back from one of those meetings, those femi-nazi meetings. He said, "Honey, the house is kind of a mess, have you been busy today?" She said, "If you don't like it you clean it up." This went on for ten minutes. And finally he said, "How would you like to not see me for a week?" She said, "That would be fine with me." And sure enough on the the seventh day her left eye started to open just a little bit.
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"And sure enough on the the seventh day her left eye started to open just a little bit. "
What? Is this some kind of creationist cause and effect?
I thought evolution was the cause of domestic violence.
Is this guy for real? He's a faux-christian, in jail for tax evasion, famous for teaching that science is a conspiracy and other great bits of wisdom. Now he's Andrew Dice Clay? I guess hanging out with the general prison population is beginning to affect him.
Well, how long a jail term did the guy get? And what happened to him after he got out?
Come on, Kent. Finish your story.
Gee Whillickers Batman! Who's Kent trying to scam now? Oh wait - same old ignorant douchebags.
Damn that says a lot about his market doesn't it. And the fact he's using frigging tactics a used car salesman would.
So that's what a wife's duties are? Well, I hope you're enjoying your prison husband, Mrs. Bubba.
Also, for the last fucking time, don't call anyone a Nazi unless they're committing actual fucking genocide. Calling someone a Nazi for not being your bitch, that's just absurdity. I hope Dr. Ruth gets her sniper rifle and fucking shoots you in the ass for that one.
(Warning, the ugliest run on sentence you've ever seen follows. I's okay though I was being ironic ... I think)
Kent could at least add to the old joke by telling us how the woman learned her lesson and quit her uppity woman office job but the family couldn't support itself on the man's Mcdonald's drive thru worker sallary so the man was forced to attempt a robbery which didn't work and landed him in jail where he takes out his frustrations about where his bad attitude has landed him by giving Kent Hovind a well deserved raping in the showers which causes Kent to move that frustration even further down the food chain to his brain dead pond scum followers via the magic internet tubes.
She had an eye infection? No wait, her husband beat her. I hope Mr. Hovind's in a jail cell somewhere, because a man with these radical, delusional feelings of hate and a religiously sanctified superiority complex towards others belongs in no better place.
According to this site, Kent got in some legal trouble a few years back for trying to break into a house and assault a woman. Though never charged, this attitude goes a long way to convince me of his guilt.
Bizarre also that he would suggest that this sort of worldview is superior to any secular morality.
Well, I guess it's something that this "joke" is a little more sophisticated than the usual sexist jokes Hovind comes out with:
"How do archaeologists tell if a skeleton is a female? Its feet are pointed towards the mall! Hur hur hurrrrr!"
Kent forgot the ending:
Then the woman filed charges against him for assault, and got a restraining order. She now has a new husband who respects her and helps out around the house. Meanwhile, her first husband is taking a court-ordered anger management class.
The End.
@tracer: Kent Hovind is making a witty joke about a husband beating his wife for talking back to him until she couldn't see. You know, a little lovin' home-correction, as the old cocksuckers used to call it.
You know, Kent, I knew your credentials were a fraud. I understood that you knew fuck-all about actual science. I knew you were a religious zealot, a compulsive liar, and a sociopathic con artist. And I knew that your politics were scary as all fucking get-out. But until this actual moment in time--7:41 PM, Tuesday, January 22, 2008--I honestly didn't wish you any actual harm.
You are lower than something I've scraped off of my shoe after a brisk jog through a pig pen, and more worthless, because I can at least use that to fertilize a plant. Die in a fire that's extinguished with HIV-infected blood, powdered glass and razor blades, you fuck.
Wow, this shocked and disgusted me. Then I saw it was Kent Hovind.
Seriously, do you TRY to get rational people to hate you?
I know, it's awful. When I saw this I was absolutely disgusted. What's worse though, is according to the transcripts people laughed at this. Yeah, nothing funnier than a defensless woman getting beaten.
I'd make a crack about Hovind, a baseball bat, and some of the ol' ultraviolence, but that'd be horribly insulting to bats and A Clockwork Orange.
i think everyone is getting a little worked up here this is the kind of joke i would make and i've never seriously thought about hitting a women let alone hit one, it's just a joke people!
"NO you shut your mouth Shanchez that was funny, if we lose our sense of humor in this place we might as well kill ourselves"
"he's right Shanchez one of the main reasons i went into medicine was the laughs, that and the pussy, and that dried up ten year ago if you pardon the expression"
At first, I didn't even understand what this was about.
And then I read your fine comments about how there should be a *insert domestic violence here* between the "She said, 'That would be fine with me.'" and the "And sure enough on the the seventh day her left eye started to open just a little bit." And now it's just really sad.
Although as Choad commented on the first page, since this is simply a collection of his comments; I'm not sure where it's actually from in his teachings.
If she doesn't have a job then shouldn't she be doing those things? I would expect the same thing from the husband if the wife was the one with the job. It's kind of like "I make the money, you keep our lives in order," it is by far the more difficult job.
Tempus said it better than I ever could.
Also, Choad, do you think there's anything too far out there for Hovind to say? Really?
"Misanthropic much" would be a better way of putting it...Another quote from him:
Hovind: If I was God I would have killed everybody
Assistant: Several times
Hovind: Several times (laughter) a long time ago. I wouldn't put up with them, man. You, (gun shot) you're out of here. So you guys can be very thankful I'm not God. I'm very thankful I'm not God.
...
What crime is he alleging humanity has committed?
Hovind checks into the same cell as Bubba. "Hey Bubba, why is this place messy?" "Cuz I don't clean it until a new guy gets here." You know, he just got in from a visit with the warden and found out he wasn't getting early release. Hovind said "Well, I'm here now, so tidy it up." "That's the new guy's job" said Bubba, so start cleaning." This went on for ten minutes. And finally Bubba said "You don't need to clean the toilet though." "Fine with me" said Hovind. And sure enough, after a week of non-stop shitting through his loose, ravaged asshole he realised that it would have been a lost cause.
@Dewey: "but domestic violence is not funny. Ever."
Not funny to you, perhaps, and it's ridiculous to make such absolute statements about something as inherently subjective as humour.
You make me puke, Kent. Enough of your lies, just go back to getting raped in the showers, you pathetic little tosser.
This guy comes back from the gym, "Hi Honey, what's for supper?"
And if you know what's good for you, you'll immediately drop trou, and bend over that bottom bunk.
Bottom being the operative word, Kentypoos, whilst Bubba whispers in your ear for the eleventeenth time:
Where is your God now?
Now you know how women in marriages with an abusive spouse feel. And why they do precisely as you've described.
"And sure enough on the the seventh day her left eye started to open just a little bit."
>implying that the guy punched her in the eye
Kent, you sick misogynist fuck. Adachi would be proud of you (but at least Adachi's a badass miso.).
I didn't quite understand at first, but reading the comments...what the hell. Why did this need to be written? Why, just...why? Please, choke and die, Mr. Hovind. Please.
And then she didn't have to see him for two years, as he got thrown in jail for spousal abuse.
"This woman comes home from work, "Hi Honey, what's for supper?" "Whatever you're fixing." You know, he just got back from one of those meetings, those Love-shy meetings. She said, "Honey, the house is kind of a mess, have you been busy today?" He said, "If you don't like it you clean it up". This went on for ten minutes. And finally she said, "How would you like to not see me for a week?" He said, "That would be fine with me." And sure enough on the the [sic] seventh day his left eye started to open just a little bit."
Ever hear about Gender Equality, Kenty-poo? There are women who beat up their men as well.
That's just as wrong, and those men might have an even harder time plucking up the courage to report it to the police than beaten women have.
I've heard this joke before
but the fact that Hovind takes it seriously is disturbing as hell. The 10th court of hell. Granted, it was probably originally written as a joke, but it's hardly funny regardless of context.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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