Example: The fall of evangelist Jimmy Swaggart. One of the most powerful voices in the evangelical world, he was reduced to utter shame after a scandal that shocked the Christian world.
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That's strange, because at Richard Ramirez's trial, his father offered alibis for two of the attacks for which his son was convicted. The prohibition against bearing false witness is, IIRC, one of the Ten Commandments. Something tells me Jimmy Swaggart wasn't effective enough for Satan to bother with.
Wow Reid, you are such a huge liar. Yeah go on, keep pretending your all secret agent warriors for Christ ruining the Devils plans and keeping mankind safe against overwhelming opposition.
Instead of you and Swaggart and all your crowd just sitting comfortably at a keyboard writing shit like this for the interwebs, pamphlet or pulpit. Some of your flock may buy this Swaggart, divine agent shit but they're probably the 20% that stick with their megapreachers regardless of scandal anyway.
There is no Satanic underworld liar, only dishonest men.
So which hooker are you talking about? The 1988 or the 1991 version? And the fact that in 1991, Jimmy told his son that God told him it wasn't anyone's business who he does "it" with? And the fact Jimmy couldn't keep his dick in his pants is everyone else's fault?
And who cares if he managed to convince a serial killer's parents that Jesus is the hot stuff? Were they part of the "Occult underground?" And if not, why should the "OU" care anymore than if Charlie Manson's uncle's grandfather's sister on his mom's side accepts Allah?
Jeebus, dumber than a bag of glass hammers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy Swaggert's persona as a creepy evangelist is just a cover for his real job as super-duper secret agent for the IAI (Incredible Acronym Agency) who battle the evil 'Occult Underworld'
How did this pitch go with the networks ?
"before flown to El Paso on a secret mission, where he led the parents of Night Stalker Satanist Richard Ramirez to Jesus. I believe the occult underworld found Mr. Swaggart’s weakness and set him up and made him pay"
... the brothel madam/pimp? I guess that's one more to add to his list of excuses, along with your apologetic to preachers who are supposed to set a moral example to we so-called 'Sinners', who - by virue of possessing the quality that all Atheists possess: Self Control - are supposed to be 'inferior' to the likes of him , and he's supposed to 'save' us from our 'sins'.
Greg, frankly your own 'God' is inferior to we Atheists. In every possible way.
Yeah sure, he was just trying to save those hookers he was caught with, and they forced him to have sex with him by looking so sexy. Damn women showing off their bodies to weak, helpless men...
No, it was him & some bimbos in a hotel.
Face it, Reid. All those evangelists went under because they were LYING CHEATING FRAUDS!
Before Jimbo got caught with the hooker, he was going on a diatribe against "Christian rock." (He would rather you listened to his own albums, on "Jim Records" - no shit, that was the name of his label) Swaggart condemned the use of teh debbil music to spread God's word (never mind that he was Jerry Lee Lewis' cousin), and he said, I kid you not, "what's next, Christian prostitutes?"
I don't remember Swaggart offering the excuse that the occult underworld had entrapped him with prostitutes. He explicitly stated, "I have sinned against You, my Lord."
Swaggart might be a complete hypocrite, but he's not batshit like Gregory here.
Why didn't the magic words work?
Because Ted Haggard's case, "Get thee behind me" was a bit ambiguous.
Jimmy telling those hookers "Get on your knees" was also open to misinterpretation.
I'm reminded of a Mr. Deity episode in which God admits he doesn't listen to prayers because if all goes well, "who gets the credit? Me!" And if things go badly, "who gets blamed? Not me! So it's all good."
Which is more likely true?
Swaggart was on a "secret mission" for a supernatural sky-pixie, and was set up by some "occult underworld"?
OR...
Swaggart was just another hypocritical horny preacher bastard that wanted sex with prostitutes?
Hmmmmm, let me give it a think....
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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