[SuicideFuel] I can't jerk off to porn with small dicks

I have a tiny dick, both in length and girth, but I can't get horny, or jerk off to porn with small dicks. Even when I imagine sexual scenes it's always with a chick blowing or fucking big or at least average dick. I know it's stupid and I tried because I have tiny dick too, but it's just not the same, I dont feel like a guy is really fucking a girl with his small weiner. My erection immediately drops no matter how attractive girl is or how good scene is. This makes me really depressed because that means if I ever got to fuck a hooker or she blows me, I will not feel horny because of my small dick, it's just not the same, she can't deepthroat me or I can't fuck her really hard and it's visually unattractive.

I seriously want to kill myself, I know I'm incel and ugly but If I had average dick at least I would be able to fuck a hooker. I just don't understand why I'm so unlucky in all aspects of my life. I even think Elliot Rodger had the same problem, he had a 4 inch dick and that stopped him from even trying.