[A Rapture Ready poster speculating about what duties they will have in heaven post-rapture.]
think about it...we're gathered around His Throne Jerusalem, decked out in our new glorified bodies, worshiping, singing, dancing...flying around(?)
then our King Yeshua calls out a few saints in the temple and says.."you, you and you; there is a woman about to be decieved in x location! Take my gospel to her and take care of those decieving spirits aswell! then SHOOOO we take off and appear saying "We are the children of the Most High! The King of Heaven and Earth, Yeshua has sent us to you with the Knowledge of His Saving Grace!" then the other Saints take their Swords and blast those decieving spirits back to the Abyss.
there's my story. how do y'all see us operating in the Kingdom? just imagine! share your thoughts!
62 comments
Afterlife by Marvel Comics.
"You, you and you I'm out of toilet paper. Stick out your tongues. What? You complain? But I'm God mine tastes like ice cream! Ingrates! Off to Hell with you!"
What, you mean they could come back at a moment's notice, anywhere?
omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent and he has to say "you, you and you; there is a woman about to be decieved in x location! Take my gospel to her and take care of those decieving spirits aswell!" [sic]
Can't he just will it so?
Actualy, they're to spend eternity on their knees singing "sanctus, sanctus, sanctus" ie in LATIN like the catholics
Very nice. If you were, say, 10. Since I assume you're an adult it's quite pathetic and borderline delusional. Unless you happen to be a fiction author--who are allowed to have fantasies that are goofy since they make their living by them--I suggest you seek help.
What an imagination. Of course everyone, Yeshua included, will all speak with a southern US accent. You make that so plain. American only, and then only from the Bahble Belt!
If you had talent, you could write fantasy stories on themes like this. There might be a handful of Baptists who would buy them. Nothing like the multitudes that have bought the Harry Potter stories. But they are truly inventive. I know <sigh> they are devilish for you. That is where your imagination really gets bogged down.
BTW, you don't 'blast' with swords. You cut and slash and stab. It leaves a lot of blood and human flesh lying around. That's why the ancient Romans loved the gladiatorial games.
I reckon your saints would all be members of the celestial NRA, so you really could 'blast' THEM demons back into the Abyss with guns. Of course as they are demons, you would be denied the supreme joy of killing them à la Sarah Palin. They don't really die. And you wouldn't have helicopters to whoosh about in. You'd have to do it on your own power, and those wings are mighty hard to control, I believe.
BTW, I'm not at all sure it's appropriate for saints to go to X locations. I mean, we all know what 'X' stands for. You might find you are losing your saints' licence! Take care. Perhaps that Yeshua is really a demon in disguise - or perhaps it was a demon that inspired your little fantasy from top to bottom!
Oh, come on. Anybody who thinks it wouldn't be awesome to fly around blasting demons with swords is, no offense, probably a woman. Additionally I assume that the aforementioned blasting involves some sort of gun that shoots swords.
You know, I used to find this kind of stuff funny too. But now I'm of the opinion that we laugh at our own peril. Spend any amount of time reading through Rapture Ready, and you quickly realize that you're glimpsing what radical Islam must have looked like 60-70 years ago - that is to say, it's a peek at the embryonic stages of a death cult.
Sitting idly by and shaking one's head is no longer a smart course of action. This religious stupidity needs to be forced to the margins of society ASAP, or we're all fucked.
Well actually there won't be anything to do in 'the Kingdom'. Earth is destroyed, remember. Satan and his demons are gone for ever.
You'll just be decked out in your glorified bodies, worshiping, singing and flying around ... for ever.
So a God who is in control of everything lets someone be deceived so he can tell someone else to go take care of it, even though it would require no effort of him to prevent or fix the whole situation?
Sounds like a MMORPG. You create some problem and then solve it. I hate MMORPGs.
In my vision of heaven, you would be unconscious, because not only is this realistic, but I think sleeping is the sort of thing I'd want to do after being alive for 70 / 80 years. Also I could see sleeping forever, but not playing a MMORPG. You always get bored of those, they suck. They are not any fun to play.
Also if it's post-rapture, eventually the world will end and everybody will be in Heaven or Hell. Two big collective circle-jerks. Yay.
@allkindsof: At least they don't have control of the oil. IPU, that would suck... "Give yourself to Jesus or you can't drive!"
"I assume that the aforementioned blasting involves some sort of gun that shoots swords." -- Nate!
Or a sword that emits bolts of energy from its tip like a ray-gun.
Man, I hope Sethola is a 12-year-old.
"just imagine!"
Yeah, since imagination is all that this is based on, it is really all you can do when trying to justify an imaginary construct populated with imaginary beings that ask you to do imaginary things in order to fight an imaginary war with imaginary evil.
Just imagine!
Does your bible contain crayon drawings of the stories? I'm doubtful of your intellectual ability to understand them if you were to actually READ them yourself.
You're allegedly an adult. What is wrong with you?
...
These people vote. *shudder*
#759839 wrote:
"Sethola is the one who thinks that they should hunt witches with their swords. He/she/it seems to have a sword fetish." In Christian Fundie-speak, "Sword" (especially if it's Capitalized) is a euphemism for the Bible.
Instead of a literal sword that shoots energy blasts, Sethola wants to wield a book that shoots energy blasts.
At Lucilius: OMG I'm stealing that idea for Marvel comics. Fantastic. Thank you.
Sweet hot damn. I look at this quote and all I can think of is "Go go, Bible Rangers! Bible-bashing Bible Range-ee-eers!"
RR retards: We are the children of the Most High! The King of Heaven and Earth, Yeshua has sent us to you with the Knowledge of His Saving Grace!
Woman about to be deceived: Fuck off! I'm trying to buy a lottery ticket.
Anyway - what gives you idiots the right to think you are qualified to pass judgment on other?
And why have a throne in Jerusalem?
I would imagine it be more like the following:
All them damn dead elephants are dumping too much shit! Go and clean up after all the 2539847821 elephants and when you are done, you can start with donkey pens and clean them too!
Aw, that's cute, sweetie.
Now fuck off, the adults are talking.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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