[From "Why Homosexuals Make The Tastiest Dishes"]

During my road trip across the United States, I visited restaurants all across the country. I noticed that the more gay flags a restaurant had, the tastier its food. How could it be that those who supported the awful act of sodomy make food that I liked the most? The answer is that they had dedicated their lives to carnal pleasures (food included) and had become worldly experts at it in a way that a devout Christian, who eagerly seeks divine pleasure, had not

That which you treasure is where your heart is (Matthew 6:21). As a carnal man for most of my life, food was one of my greatest joys. While living in Poznan, Poland, my Friday night tradition was going to Fat Bob Burger near the town square for a burger feast to satisfy my belly before hitting dens of iniquity to satisfy my lusts[…]
You will become a connoisseur of the world if all you have is the world. If you are a homosexual restauranteur and your entire life is centered around maximizing pleasure with great zeal, you will open a restaurant that easily satisfies the crowd and gets glowing reviews on Yelp. However, if you are an Orthodox Christian restauranteur who fasts for much of the year, and specializes in dishes that don’t feed one’s passions, your culinary creations will be suitable but forgettable[…]
When you’re in the prime of your life, with no health, family, or money problems, you may be very well deceived that all you need is to drink and be merry, that the homosexual establishments in the city are like icing on the buttery rich yellow cake of a well-lived life, but don’t be fooled: behind a pleasing material reality is Satan heaping up your soul in sin[…]
Let us be satisfied with gruel and slop if they are placed before us. Let us shed the skin of the carnal man and not desire to please our temporal taste buds. Let us not trust the offerings of homosexuals and degenerates to give us pleasures of this world