Well, I definitely believe I am the son of God. I know it is true. I have abounding proof in my background. All before me are proofs of it. Drfuzzy might say, you might say "you think THAT family is the family of God?". Well my family doesn't need an introduction. All you need to see first hand is their names. They speak for themselves. And I think my brother and sisters speak for themselves, too. I guess anyone really could take the name Killingsworth as a sign of "the nobility of God's". But, I'll tell you one thing, I am convinced of that at this point. I genuinely believe that because my name is Killingsworth, I am of a royal descent. There's got to be proof of it out there somewhere. So I guess it's just as simple as that. Any doubters or disbelievers can take the name Killingsworth themselves, however, they can also back out of the room, not say anything at all about it, and run away. Because as far as anything else goes, that's the last bit of proof they will hear about the family of God.
34 comments
"Because as far as anything else goes, that's the last bit of proof they will hear about the family of God."
Well, I'm sure they'll all be convinced.
I’m sorry, what!?
I genuinely believe that because my name is Killingsworth, I am of a royal descent.
Uh-huh. Maybe if your name were Fitzroy.
Oh foolish fundie.
God's real name?
God is named Earl Jim-Bob Jones, and he's from Pearl, Mississippi.
God is a trailer parker manager, and Heaven is what he calls his favorite bong. So God is a southerner, a redneck, and a stoner.
Are you sure you want to claim relation to him?
...
Ok, my grandmother has some old papers somewhere that say we're descended from someone knighted (hell if I can spell the name, though. My grandmother's parents were Czech [Bohemian, more specifically]). My dad found that we were technically part of Clan MacLaren.
What nifty claims can I make?
Retard reads a book by David Icke, starts wearing turquoise, has ideas above his station, and thinks he's a floating head in a Sean Connery film.
..."Zardoz" at 11.
Hey JB, you're not royalty.
Source for Killingsworth name meaning
English: habitational name probably from Killingworth in Tyne and Wear, so named from an Old English personal name Cylla + -ing- associated with’ + worð enclosure’.
Source where the name was first found
This name is of English locational origin from a place called Killingworth in Northumberland. The name means "The word of Cylla's people". Another spot thus called may also have existed in Norfolk as the early recordings of the name all come from this county. In 1388 one Thomas de Killingworth was vicar of Windham, Co. Norfolk. A Richard Killingworth is recorded there in 1561. Grantham Killingworth (1699-1778) was a baptist controversialist and pamphlet publisher. The earliest spelling of the place name Killingwrth appears in the Book of Fees dated 1242. The first recorded spelling of the family name is shown to be that of Adam de Kellyngworthe which was dated 1273, in the "Hundred Rolls of Norfolk". during the reign of King Edward 1, known as "The Hammer of the Scots" 1272 - 1307 Surnames became necessary when governments introduced personal taxation. In England this was known as Poll Tax. Throughout the centuries, surnames in every country have continued to "develop" often leading to astonishing variants of the original spelling.
So as you see JB, you 're one of us peasants.
Delusions of grandeur much? And if you are god, why haven't you done anything about cancer, AIDS, poverty, birth defects, starvation, hate, war, murder...?
God's name is actually Godfrey, -He actually gets quite pissed off when people get familiar and shorten it-.
He doesn't have a family name. He's famous enough to not need one, like Bjork or Bono. Well not as famous as Bono but you see what I mean.
That's nice. While you're busy being all godly-extra-special and all, don't forget to put your crayons away.
The nurse spent over an hour scrubbing them out of your teeth last time.
Listen, strange wizards lying in clouds distributing names is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical atmospheric ceremony.
You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just cause some gaseous tart threw a name at you. Oh but if I went round, calling myself emperor just because some aerosolised being lobbed a moniker at me, they'd put me away.
I am the son of God. I know it is true.
Ok listen, we're running out of wine here. I have some bottles full of water. Would you care to oblige?
You're the son of God? You failed to read up on those 7 deadly sins, didn't ya? Pride is definitely one of them...
Killingsworth is hardly a Middle Eastern Semitic name...
Your IQ is about 75, is it?
they can also back out of the room, not say anything at all about it, and run away
I'm sure you cause that reaction in many people.
"I genuinely believe that because my name is Killingsworth, I am of a royal descent."
I believe you are not even worth killing.
@ rubber chicken
God's name is actually Godfrey,
Godfrey Daniel, I know him well. Ah, yessss.
-----------------------
Since I have named myself MacAdamia, I see it as proof that
I am Napoleon.
Prove me wrong, Mr. Son O'God.
That's... not how nomenclature works.
Also, I nominate NotaReptile for a "Best Modification of a Monty Python Quote" award.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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