[Someone took exception to the FSM.]
Sincerely,
65 comments
You Fundies seem to think that atheists reading the Bible will make us into Christians. Many of us became atheists BY reading the Bible.
You miss the point of the FSM. Pasta being a deity is just as likely as the God of the Bible actually existing.
You know, there are a lot of atheists that have read the bible. Usually that is the reason they are atheists. I read the bible, and I liked a lot of parts. I especially liked the story of Noah's Ark. However, I believe that that's what they are- stories.
I read the Bible. The thing is that I didn't read it, I READ it. You see the difference. I didn't just look at the words and pretend I understand Jacobian English. I actually read it, compared it to other parts of itself and other accounts at the time and I always asked questions. I approached the Bible the same way anyone approaches anything that claims to be true; with an open yet skeptical mind. And with this regard the Bible fails miserably. And hence why atheists exist.
You Fundies think you have got it all figured out huh? So you THINK you know that God is a big, white male in a long beard so you make up this ridiculous fake religion. COME ON!! As if making fun of Pastafarians for believing in God wasn’t bad enough you have to mock us by making up The Big White Male with a Beard? Yeah, I know that a fundie made this crap up, because no one is stupid enough to actually believe a Big White Guy with a Beard is our Almighty God. This is totally wrong and whoever started this is seriously going to pay unless you repent. Because if you don’t, you and all your believers are all going to lose out on the stripper factory and the beer volcano for eternity. So pick up the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and READ IT!!
You Christians think you have got it all figured out huh? So you THINK you know that there is no ADMIN so you make up this ridiculous fake religion. The Church of the ZOMBIE JESUS?? COME ON!! As if making fun of SIMULATIONISTs for believing in ADMIN wasn’t bad enough you have to mock us by making up A JEWISH ZOMBIE WHO DIED TO SAVE YOU FROM HIMSELF? Yeah, I know that an JUDAIST made this crap up, because no one is stupid enough to actually believe JESUS is our Almighty ADMIN. This is totally wrong and whoever started this is seriously going to pay unless you repent. Because if you don’t, you and all your believers are all going to BE BANNED for eternity. So pick up a BOOK, and READ IT!!
Sincerely,
You, the infidel! There's nothing in the Bible that contradicts our belief in the Creator of Earth, the Flying Spaghetti Monster! He separated light and darkness, created the earth with fruit, animals and birds, and He created the Man (and later the Woman) with His Noodly Appendage! He led Moses through the desert, feeding Manna (a type of noodle) to the hungry Jews!
Those worshipping false idols portray Him as a bearded human - how dare they think the Creator looks even remotely like them! Throw away the false gods and accept Him as the only true God!
Ramen!
Dear henderob,
Fuck you too.
Sincerely,
James
I've read the bible, not impressed. Poor editting, and for the most part the writing's dry and boring; the LOLcats bible's easier to read for the most part. The characters aren't the interesting either. If a religion has a better written book, I'd probably greatly prefer it.
"So pick up a Bible, and READ IT!!"
I have... that's one of the reasons I don't believe in the junk contained therein. If you actually read it, neither would you.
"So pick up a Bible, and READ IT!!"
I have, unlike most fundies I've actually read it cover to cover, hence why I'm an atheist.
I did read the Bible.
Well, except for the big lists of names, but even so, I'm willing to bet I read more of it than you.
*So pick up a Bible, and READ IT!!*
When you die, you'll feel yourself being pulled into the depths of hell by countless infinitely strong noodles.
Because you Guessed Wrong(tm).
So, let me get this straight. You want us to believe your made up fairy tale because it's been in print longer?
As for reading the bible, I did. Never did I read so much incest, murder, sex, etc than I did in that book! It did get a little bogged down in all those 'begats' early on though.
FSM, A joke? You shall forever be plundered by pirates in the afterlife.
Please, save yourself, convert from your stupid, made up, out of date religion to the more modern, true, divinely discovered pastafarianism.
And How exactly, my dear 'A Strong Christian', know that the Spaghetti Monster is made up? There's no more evidence that his noodly appendage has touched us than there is evidence of Jesus Christ existing or the thumb of God.
arrrrr! curse the fools who deny the fsm in its noodly, meatball greatness! how can anybody be foolish enough to not see that he created pasta in his own image? the nerve of some people. i hope that this individual will see that the fsm loves everybody and that our heaven has a beer volcano and a stripper factory
RAmen,
pirate bob
The Flying Spaghetti Monster no longer exists - I ate Him. He went down great with His friend, the Flying Garlic Bread Monster.
In all seriousness, though, I admire people who can poke fun at themselves - it shows great psychological strength. Henderob (a.k.a. A Strong Christian) doesn't seem to be able to poke fun at himself. No prizes for guessing why.
1. Circular Reasoning
2. An individual came up with the idea, not the entire current atheist community.
3. (conclusion from 2) Those we do not need to repent, especially since repenting will not erase your former unchangeable actions from the fabric of time, th fourth dimension.
4. Saying your a STRONG Christian should be shameful; saying your a moderate Christian is something worthy of pride, although you're believing in things I deem as fantastical and illogical, and you believe pride is a sin.
5. Do not command me to do anything. God made me an atheist, do not judge his wisdom.
6. Picking up a Bible does not immediately convert you into a Christian; in fact, i, after reading some of the Bible, immediately came up with the conclusion that it's atrocious. Have you noticed how the Bible has been used to disprove certain Christian notions of God?
7. The Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster can actually be used to show how some Christians arguments are fallacious and fail as logical inference.
Well, I do think that it was a bit disrespectful setting a Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster up, but you don't see the flying Spaghetti Monster causing plagues and earthquakes and condemning people for being "unnatural" left and right, do you? In fact, the Spaghetti Monster might solve world hunger...
How could you deny that his holiness, our Lord the Flying Spaghetti Monster, is anything but truth? How can you be so arrogant as to believe that He is actually in your likeness? For shame, for shame. Of COURSE He is actually made of popular Italian cuisine, and of COURSE His Noodly Appendage created us all! Pick up our holy books and accept Him as your Lord and Creator before it's too late!
RAmen!
You Christians think you have got it all figured out huh? So you THINK you know that there is no Flying Spaghetti Monster so you make up this ridiculous fake religion. The Church of Christianity? COME ON!! As if making fun of Pastafarians for believing in the Flying Spaghetti Monster wasn’t bad enough you have to mock us by making up Jesus? Yeah, I know that a Neanderthal made this crap up, because no one is stupid enough to actually believe an invisible man is our Almighty God. This is totally wrong and whoever started this is seriously going to pay unless you repent. Because if you don’t, you and all your believers are all going to burn in HELL for eternity. So pick up an italian cookbook, and READ IT!!
Sincerely,
I think the Gospel of the FSM makes more sense the the Bible, especially the part with the number of pirates being related to global temperatures.
It makes more sense than following a religion of love that people of killed over.
the stories in the bible make good bed time stories, but because of reading the bible i seeing the REAL world, it has made me abandon Christianity and join up with another religion, which you christian idiots say it is Atheist, wicca is not the same damn thing, but if you must know, the invisible pink unicorn along with the FSM is all jokes atheist like to see you christians get so riled up about.
Dear henderob,
Notice that little red x on the top right corner of your screen? If you come upon a web page you don't like, CLICK ON IT.
I have read the bible, it's filled with, violence, hate, sexism, and intolerance. Infact, the bible itself turns many people away.
Your's truely,
Well, I agree with you on the 'the FSM is an insult to the Lord," but your pronoun usage sucks.
It should be "the FSM i san insult to the Lady." Namely, the Invisible Pink Unicorn, Her Holy Pinkness, Her Grand Horniness.
All hail her Horniness, heathen Pastafarians!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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