Eighteen months ago, I was looking forward to my older son’s wedding. I especially loved the date they chose for the ceremony - 12/31/23, 123,123 - a waltz. I wanted to waltz with my eldest. He is a wonderful dancer. He only has one brother, and they are close, so I expected his brother would be his best man. However, things have changed since the wedding was announced. His brother will now be a bridesmaid.

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As much as I wanted to waltz with the groom, I do not want to see my 6’ 4”, broad shouldered son dressed as a bridesmaid. All four of his grandparents were invited, but they are not attending. My parents told him they were too old to travel. My in-laws said they could not find a hotel room. They have all told me how they worry that my youngest son’s decisions will ruin his life. My father had tears in his eyes when he spoke of the pain of seeing his grandson in a dress.

Will my oldest miss having family there? His brother and probably his father will be there, but that is all, no mother, grandparents, aunts, uncles or first cousins. If they take a photo of the groom’s family there will only be four people in the picture, not thirty-five. Will his brother feel guilty that his choices have kept the rest of us away?