Bob #fundie

Bob #fundie topix.com

That's cuz your clueless. Clueless clueless clueless clueless clueless clueless. Pagans try to lie about Jesus so they don't deserve the same freedom that Christians do. I know about Wicca, I took classes at my church about devil worshipping. Wiccans pray to the devil and cast spells using the devils powers. The devil will turn on you. He's not your friend, he's not your friend, he's not your friend, he's not your friend, try Jesus, he's your friend, he's your friend, He's your best friend. Love jesus, accept Jesus, caress Jesus.

92 comments

old comment by Horsefeathers

"That's cuz your clueless. Clueless clueless clueless clueless clueless clueless."

Wait. Slow down... I'm having a hard time keeping up.

"Pagans try to lie about Jesus so they don't deserve the same freedom that Christians do."

Yeah, see, that's not how the whole "freedom" thing works.

"I know about Wicca, I took classes at my church about devil worshipping."

Ah, I see. Well, I suppose I can respect that. I mean, I learned everything I know about Christianity from attending a lecture at the local Church of Satan.

"Wiccans pray to the devil and cast spells using the devils powers."

Not quite, jackass.

"The devil will turn on you. He's not your friend, he's not your friend, he's not your friend, he's not your friend, try Jesus, he's your friend, he's your friend, He's your best friend."

Is there an echo in here? Oh, never mind, it's just an unsupervised moron with a keyboard.

"Love jesus, accept Jesus, caress Jesus."

You've got to be a Poe or the biggest closet case Christian I've ever seen.

old comment by Shann

Just for clarification purposes; We Pagans do NOT try to lie about Jesus. Many of us think he was quite a pleasant fellow, what with his feminist principles, kindness toward others and all. It is christians and their aggressive, judgemental ways that most of us despise.

Let me put it to you in a way you could understand: let's say a Wiccan approached you at the mall, screeching about the cross you wear on a pendant. This Pagan was extremely loud and aggressive and she told you that your eternity would be nothing but suffering if you didn't accept the truth that the God and Goddess operate as a joined entity and they love you. This same thing happened to me in reverse; in front of the office of our insurance agent and in the presence of my two youngest children, who were in a stroller at the time. A loudmouthed christian harpie approached me to screech at me about my Inguz pendant. How would you like that?

I'd wager you wouldn't. Welcome to our world.

It's YOU we don't like. It's YOUR ways that cause the rift between the different faiths and it's YOUR bigotry and spreading of lies regarding religions you don't understand (and atheism, which isn't even a religion at all, though none of you seems intellectually capable of grasping this fact) that keeps you in an environment of being disliked and not being trusted.

Get that? Jesus is okay with most of us. The problem is YOU and your shitty behavior.

Oh, and just so you know: learning about Wicca and other non-christian reigions from a lying christian church is like learning about celibacy by visiting a whorehouse.

old comment by Little Miss

Okay. We aren't four or drunk (hopefully) you can stop repeating yourself. It's annoying and, surprisingly, does not make people take your message more seriously. Also, I dare you to tell a Wiccan he/she's the same thing as a Satanist. They will not take kindly to it, since they believe and practice two completely different things. (It might help you to know that most Satanists don't believe in Satan. They believe in living life to the fullest for themselves and telling society to fuck off. They use Satan because he shocks "normal" people and he most identifies with how they want to live their life. Also, real satanists don't torture or sacrifice members or offerings.)

old comment by Garfield

I admit, we pagans might be cookie some times, but only very few of us hit the same hights christioan fundamentalists reach!

to clarify - we do NOT worship satan. Satan is part of christian religion. Id we worshiped satan, we would at the same time belive in Jesus (or the Christian god)

We have our own god/ess (often more then one) but none of them is actually satan. I speak for my path of paganism now: My gods/esses are both, good and evil at the same time. (at least in the path I follow)

As for rights - we very well deserve the same rights Christians have! Our belive system is just as good as yours. (Maybe better because we don't condone rape and murder and seek equality for all)

old comment by Anonymous

"know about Wicca, I took classes at my church about devil worshipping. Wiccans pray to the devil and cast spells using the devils powers."

I knew a girl who thought she knew a bunch of stuff about other religions and beliefs because she took some 'classes' about them at her Bible College. Some of the things she told me she was taught about Hinduism and Buddhism were plain false or gross misinterpretations of their doctrines. Not knocking her for attending Bible College, but I told her that if she really wants to know what a religion teaches or its practices, she should either speak to someone who practices that religion or at least read a book written by someone who practices that religion.

I'm sure this is the same case regarding what Bob learned about Wicca. Caress Mother Earth, Bob!

old comment by Rat of Steel

One day on Halloween, I decided to fuck with the major retard at school when I came out of science class for break. He was dressed as Moses. Knowing this was going to happen, I brought a Jeezus doll. Thus I started the conversation, making sure no one saw me.

"So, Bob, I heard you like Jeezus..."

"Jeezus? I LUUUUUUUUUUUURVE Jeezus."

"Well, uh, would you fuck a Jeez-", Bob cut me off before I could say "if you were in Heaven with Jeezus".

"OF COURSE."

"Well, I happen to have Jeezus here, and..."

Before I finished the sentence, which would have resulted in me hitting Bob across the face with the doll, he grabbed it. In one swift motion Bob's pants were down and he was violently humping it. Not to get between a man and his Messiah, I started to walk away, because there is no way I'd be caught wrestling a half-naked crazy guy humping a plush Jeezus.

Needless to say, within 5 to 10 seconds, some girls saw him and started screaming. I cooly walked into a restroom, pretending nothing had ever happened; not that I had intended that outcome, but now that it was in play I didn't want to be involved.

I came back two minutes later, and like any wanton act on school grounds there was now a huge crowd round him. Bob was still fucking it and baying this real fucked up 'EEEEEEEEEEINNNNF EEEEEEEEEEINNNF' sound. Suddenly a scuffle broke out in the middle, meaning he probably did something stupid. I asked someone what had happened. A girlfriend of one of the football players tried to get him to stop, but he bit her for trying to take it away. Someone called in a few football players (all dressed up like Goliath) who proceeded to pummel the shit out of the guy. Meanwhile the school police were freaking out and having trouble getting in to the situation.

A few minutes later the intruder alarm went off and we were shuffled into classrooms. Over the intercom the principal announced that someone had thrown a flaming plush toy into the library. Uh... what the hell.

So we were kept there and about 30 minutes later the principal came on again. This time he was saying that whoever was behind the beating should turn themselves in. All of a sudden this woman began yelling “I WILL SUE YOU FOR DAMAGES. YOU LITTLE PUNKS, I’M GONNA SUE” and it was cut off.

I asked an officer later what had happened. Apparently his mother had come to pick him up and threatened to sue for the beating and 'whatever else happened.' The school threatened to counter-sue because of lewd conduct, inciting a riot, and starting a fight.

So I ask you: do you liek Jeezus?

Bob #fundie topix.com

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