[More insanity from the "Are they ready?" Post-Rapture Fanfic]
"Honey, come here and take a look at this. I've been doing Internet searches to try and figure out this craziness, and this "Rapture Ready" web site describes exactly what has happened!! And look, everything they predicted is backed up by Bible passages, it was all foretold! I remember hearing about this site a while back on a radio program I was listening to, they were laughing about these guys as being a couple of crackpots. It sounded pretty outlandish at the time, but it's all in here. All of it! I've been reading through this "Information For Those Left Behind" section and it speaks DIRECTLY to us! It's instructions for us! It also tells us that this is just the beginning, things are going to get much, much worse. Sure we didn't go to church that much, but it says here that church wasn't the way to salvation anyway. This "Second Chance for Salvation" page describes everything we need to do to receive salvation right now! I've printed it out so we can pray together. And if that's not enough, they also have a bulletin board. Take a look at some of these stories in this window! Apparently these were fictional, they were written at the end of '08, but it sounds JUST LIKE what we've been going through! They're in this thread called "Are they ready for this?"
71 comments
""Honey, come here and take a look at this. I've been doing Internet searches to try and figure out this craziness, and this "Rapture Ready" web site describes exactly what has happened!! And look, everything they predicted is backed up by Bible passages, it was all foretold! I remember hearing about this site a while back on a radio program I was listening to, they were laughing about these guys as being a couple of crackpots. It sounded pretty outlandish at the time, but it's all in here. All of it!"
Alright, couldnt you have just written "WHERE RIGHT! WHERE FUCKING RIGHT! YOU'LL SEE! YOU'LL ALL SEE!" and said the exact same pathetic thing?
These people are absolutely hard at the thought of living out their little revenge fantasy, aren't they? Further...
Sure we didn't go to church that much, but it says here that church wasn't the way to salvation anyway.
So...that's why you guys spend millions to build your Megachurches?
I am actually not going to give this a high rating, because this is just a description of their belief structure. This doesn't belittle a group of people or spout hatred, this is just outlining their beliefs, as odd as they may be.
"I've been doing Internet searches to try and figure out this craziness"
Yes, because it's not like anybody on TV or radio has ever heard of the Rapture. You're going to need to do some digging to figure out why a bunch of devout, conservative Christians just disappeared.
"Apparently these were fictional, they were written at the end of '08, but it sounds JUST LIKE what we've been going through! They're in this thread called "Are they ready for this?""
And they still are fictional, honey! None of this will ever happen! Ha! Those silly Rapturists!
@anonymous
Yes, because it's not like anybody on TV or radio has ever heard of the Rapture. You're going to need to do some digging to figure out why a bunch of devout, conservative Christians just disappeared.
Yes, and I'm sure that all twelve of them disappearing at one is gonna cause a stir, too, eh? :p
See, what I like is that we non-believers get a second chance at salvation once we get absolute proof that this stuff is true. Sounds fair.
So - why bother doing the Christian stuff now and all the limitations that that imposes on us?
Let's just party in our immoral, ammoral atheist way, recruiting gays all over the place and having abortions every week - sort of the way we do now.
And when the Rapture happens - we'll take the Second Chance for Salvation.
Sorted.
@P-hat: I am actually not going to give this a high rating, because this is just a description of their belief structure. This doesn't belittle a group of people or spout hatred, this is just outlining their beliefs, as odd as they may be.
I wouldn't mind it so much if it didn't seem so smug. They believe that they'll be whisked away by their God, who will then bring about His terrible revenge on everyone who didn't say the Magic Words, and they're having this great big circle-jerk about it. What does that say about them?
they were laughing about these guys as being a couple of crackpots
Probably because they are and because their "fan fiction" will be the only time and place, where their rapture dreams become true
I am actually not going to give this a high rating, because this is just a description of their belief structure. This doesn't belittle a group of people or spout hatred, this is just outlining their beliefs, as odd as they may be.
I'm sure some quotes from Dianetics would rate pretty damn high. Some beliefs are just fucking stupid.
...They're in this thread called "Are they ready for this?"
"Just listen to this story... 'Honey, come here and take a look at this. I've been doing Internet searches to try and figure out this craziness, and this 'Rapture Ready' web site describes exactly what has happened!! And look..."
It was a dark and stormy night. The ship was sinking. The captain said to me, "Tell me a story, my son," and so I began: "It was a dark and stormy night. The ship was sinking. The captain said to me, 'Tell me a story, my son,' and so I began: 'It was a dark and stormy night...'"
The Rapture Ready crowd would interpret anything as confirming their nonsense. Take some examples:
01 False Christs
A gentleman in Florida has made news by claiming to
be Christ.
people have been claiming to be Christ since the bronze age.
02 Occult:
There has been two major news events involving witchcraft and murder.
witchcraft and murder have been going on for centuries.
04 Unemployment:
Unemployment climbs to 5-year high of 6.1 percent
05 Inflation:
Consumer prices continue to soar.
Not really. The CPI increase for 2008 is lower than all but five years in the last 18.
06 Interest Rates:
Inflation pressure is pushing rates higher.
No, rates are unusually low.
07 The Economy
A number economic reports point to the risk of recession.
08 Oil Supply/Price
The price of oil has simply collapsed in the past few months.
and if it had gone up even higher, that would have been offered as evidence, too
09 Debt and Trade:
The mortgage bailout will add $1.2 trillion to the Federal debt.
10 Financial unrest
The U.S. stock market has has a sharp declined.
and if it had gone up?
11 Leadership
Barack Obama's election victory ensures a new liberal sift is coming to Washington D.C.
God forbid we should start following Jesus and taking care of the poor
12 Drug abuse:
Drug use in teens declines by 11 percent
and if it had gone up, that would have been offered as evidence, too.
Wow! Tres. That's great. I'm all of a dither. That's such wonderful news I can hardly contain my excitement. I'm just spinning round deliriously. Oh! I'm so happy I could faint. Oh! I'm in such a tizzy I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I think I'll do both at the same time. I feel like opening all the windows and shouting the marvelous news to the world at large. Quick, have you phoned the news agencies or contacted the media big boys. Superb. We must let the world know immediately. I can just see the headlines tomorrow, SALVATION! FOR SIMPLETONS! IT'S HERE! or SALVATION THE EASY WAY. Oh! Squee. Sorry, I'm Just so excited.
I'd like to see an alternate rapture fanfic where the rapture happens, and nobody else notices.
"Uh, there was less noise than usual coming from the megachurch down the street, but I just thought they'd put in better insulation".
"Honey, come here and take a look at this. I've been doing Internet searches to try and figure out this crazy business about a giant bunch of fundamentalists failing SO hard at committing a mass suicide, and this "FSTDT" web site describes exactly what has happened! They have followed this pathetic Rapture Ready death cult that no one cares about for years!..."
I've got a list of what makes a good fanfic:
1. Good diolouge - this is the worse diolouge I've ever read in my life. Well, okay, maybe I've read some worse, but still, this is pretty bad.
2. In character - nobody acts like this. Seriously.
3. Well written - this is anything but.
All in all, this is pretty damn bad. I wonder when the fundies'll finally stop masturbating to this thread and leave it alone...
But wait, I thought that after the Rapture goes down, we won't have any more electricity or modern conveniences. So how do they have the internet, and who keeps paying the bills for the website???
*amateur novelist notices LARGE AND GLARING holes in plot*
"Honey, come here and take a look at this. I've been doing searches through the archive of internet posts from 200 years ago, and apparently this "Rapture Ready" website was certain that the world was going to end within a few years. Were all people this stupid back then?"
"Honey, come here and take a look at this. I've been doing Internet searches to try and figure out this craziness, and this "Rapture Ready" web site describes exactly what has happened!! It seems as if this suicidal death cult, that was in the papers, have been posting all sorts of non Biblical Armageddon fantasies on the internet for years.
They must have built themselves up into such a frenzy that they all killed themsleves last week "
But we'll still have internet connection during the rapture, right? Yes?
*Phew*
For a moment, I was scared.
Reading that thread, even the worst kinds of Naruto/Harry Potter, Twilight/Sailor Moon etc crossover fanfics on Fanfiction.net is like Shakespeare compared to this rapturefic (a.k.a. Fundy Fapping material) on Ruptured Retards.
Well, I guess these wackjobs need something to do whilst waiting for that lovely (C)Rapture. Which'll never happen. Believe it!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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