Newspeak Doubleplusungood Award
English, motherf*cker, do you speak it?
[It's Over] I put a banana in my shorts and legit went up like 0.5 PSL
+1 if you count +0.5 lowinhibmax due to confidence
Having a visible cawk outline is such an amazing thing, both how it affects your looks and your mind
Too bad it not my real cawk but just a banna so I had to eventually take it out
Now I just think about having a massive cawk and walking around campus while girls are checking out my bulge
18 comments
Just as a total aside, this reminds me of a guy from Boston I once knew who would call people “cacksuckers”, and it was fucking hilarious. I’m pretty sure he was doing it intentionally, but damn, it was still funny.
Funnier than this was meant to be, and far funnier than it managed to be in fact.
Well, if someone were to walk around in my vicinity with a banana down their trousers, I'm pretty sure I would think them a bit loopy, and possibly mourn the waste of a banana (seriously, even socks would make more sense), than consider them as a sexual option simply for the sake of a bulge.
Are you sure that the difference in reception from others wasn't just in your head?
Dude, they make things for that. It would probably look more natural and you wouldn't need to waste a banana. (I hope he wasted that banana; what if he ate it afterwards?).
I wonder if this guy would consider a woman who stuffed her bra so her boobs looked bigger to be a horrible faker?
@Spacewyrm #49216
“what if he ate it afterwards?”
Probably nothing… bananas have peel. It would probably have got rather squashed inside the peel though.
“I wonder if this guy would consider a woman who stuffed her bra so her boobs looked bigger to be a horrible faker?”
Yes.
I put a banana in my shorts ...and the girls still didn't find you a-peel -ing.
OR:
Did you think it would attract the Chiquitas ?!
OR:
While doing so, did you sing 'Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring Banana Bone '...?!
OR:
When everyone realised what you had down there, as they pointed and laughed did you peel the burn...?!
“Having a visible cawk outline is such an amazing thing, both how it affects your looks and your mind”
It’s kinda weird, too. Incels refer to make-up as fake-up, and feel cheated if a woman has falsies in her bra, or plucks her eyebrows, or wears heels, or her tan is sprayed on.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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