Neal Horsley #fundie

Neal Horsley #fundie youtube.com

Neal Horsley: "Before I surrendered myself to the Lord Jesus Christ, I was an absolute hedonist. I smoked dope, I did everything that might feel good.... Hey, Alan, if you want to accuse me of having sex when I was a fool, I did everything that crossed my mind that looked like I..."

Alan Colmes: "You had sex with animals?"

NH: "Absolutely. I was a fool."

AC: "You had sex with animals?"

NH: "When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule."

AC: "Ah, I'm not so sure that that is so...."

NH: "That's because you didn't grow up on a farm in Georgia. The fact of the matter is if they have....don't know that you experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You're naive. You know better than that... If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it."

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old comment by Tempus

@Horsefeathers: Want something funnier? Read the "Discussion" page for that Wiki article. Mulefucker threatens to sue Wikipedia for libel.

The content of this article is not only patently false on numerous details of fact (for example I was born in Bremen not Bowdon, Georgia; I was in the USAF, not the Army), but contains libel per se when it accuses me of advocating terrorism. I have on two occasions contacted Wikipedia and told them to remove the libelous statement. I have been ignored. It is a matter of public record that in the recent past, I spent over three years suing Planned Parenthood, NOW, and Geraldo Rivera when they libelously accused me of assassinating the abortionist Barnett Slepian. Even though I lost, it cost the various parties well over $1,000,000 to deal with the litigation. Wikipedia and the authors of the libelous statements on this "encyclopedia" should prepare to deal with the same process unless they retract the libelous accusation that I have advocated terrorism. I will give them (whether the "them" be Wikipedia staff or the lying author of the article about me) two weeks to get that statement out of this article. If it's still there in two weeks from March 27, 2006, I will initiate a defamation complaint in federal court.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

I think you'll find, Neal, that the vast majority of farmers in Georgia - or any of the southern states in the US - have better tastes in sexual partners. And of their own species.

"If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it."

So you have sex with a tumble drier? Whatever turns you on, I guess (pun may or may not be intended). Personally, I'd have sex with my girlfriend on a washing machine whilst it's on it's spin cycle. Which is why we think that sex on TV is a bad thing: have you tried even the missionary position on the top of an LCD or plasma screen?! Guaranteed you'd fall off & hurt yourselves every time.

old comment by Angricultural.

I am a twenty-nine years old sexually frustrated, atheist man who have lived on a farm (With cattle, some sheep, some damn fine horses, three dogs and a cat.) for my entire life.
I have never had sex with a woman, and it is a constant strain on my psyche. I am not mentally well...

I have, however, never molested any of the animals under my care, because I am not completely insane or immoral.
Animals have rights, and even if they did not, I would still not want to fuck them, because as they depend on me, like children would, and I find the whole idea of fucking them borderline incestuous. Not to mention, WE ARE NOT OF THE SAME SPECIES, DAMMIT! I wouldn't do that to them.
(This may sound weird to any hippie vegetarians out there, as I slaughter some of the cattle, but you can just go back to eating grass and shutting your pansy mouths. It's called the food-chain, look it up.)

And even if I wanted, they are my responsibility, and thus, I wouldn't do anything to them that may cause them undue harm or stress, because that's how responsibility works.

Most of us do not need the threat of hell not to be a bloody animal-fucking whackjob... >(

old comment by Tempus

I have got to ask my friends who lived down south if this was true.

@#1329153: Short answer: No.

Longer answer: speaking as one who lives in the south, and as someone who grew up on a working farm--FUCK no.

What sort of idiot would admit this?!?

The sort of idiot who once publicly claimed that he'd like Georgia to secede, and is presidental material because he's ready, willing and, above all, eager to kill anyone who got in his way, especially family. Like his son. A sort of idiot's king, as it were.

For that matter, what sort of person would actually do it?!?

The sort who stalks Elton John and calls for the man's death for blasphemy, and ran a website where he published the names, addresses and phone numbers of doctors who provide abortion services, in hopes that someone could be convinced to kill them. You know, the kind without any shame or human ethics.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

Well, Neal Hors(e)ley is another paraphilia that Princess Molestia can add to her list of those to avoid, along with Twist, [i]non[/i]-adult ponies, and Pinkie Pie (who she considers a [i]worse[/i] molester than [i]her[/i]). [/Irony] [/John Joseco]

I guess, along with 'Fag'/'Faggot' (Cigarette/Pork Meatball), by trolls, 'Horse Fucker' is another 'insult' by anti-Bronies annihilated.

I bet Neal clops to old episodes* of "Mr. Ed".

*- BTW, I think sex on TV is wrong. I mean, you could fall off and hurt yourselves! Have you even tried Conceptual Sex in the Mercenary Position on top of a 42" Samsung smart TV?! There's also the risk of contracting HDMI.

...but the alternative is suffering from Blu(e)-Ray Balls Syndrome, though. X3

Neal Horsley #fundie youtube.com

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