[New Rapture Ready Rule: You won't get into Heaven, unless you've been quoted by fstdt.]
There is a website especially dedicated for ridiculing and hating us.
If you are on there you are more than likely receiving a crown in heaven.
If you are not mentioned you need to question your salvation
My thanks to the pagans for solidifying our security
151 comments
I'm sorry, but the only way (at least in theory) you can get on FSTDT is by saying something hateful, asinine, or racist. God rewards you for being hateful, asinine, and racist?
Funny, now it isn´t god who decides who gets into heaven and which rank s/he has there, but the Mods/Admins from RR.
:D
What's the matter Buzzardhut, you cramping again?
By the way, I'm afraid if your God is real he is going to have a big surprise for you at the judgment and you will have to hang out with us "pagans" for all eternity! BWAH HA HA HA! Don't worry we will still make fun of you.
If you are on there you are more than likely receiving a crown in heaven.
If you are on there you are more than likely almost completely ignorant of reality, and even the Bible. You've probably also said something that shows you're on the hate-filled right wing lunatic fringe, are sure your religion is the only right one, and hate anyone who disagrees with you. Why you're waiting for the Rapture is a mystery to most of us, because you'd be the first ones into the Lake o' fire if the time came.
"I actually, honestly believed that this was a joke made by the makers of THIS site..."
Or perhaps some people here are really 5th columnists at RR. They should be more aware as to who they let post at RR, especially people from the Southern Hemisphere.
Just 'cause they are paranoid, it does not mean that we are not out to get them, or make fun of them on their own Board in ways that they are too stupid to even understand.
Norm
This is gold. Most of them deny our mocks are accurate, this person implies they're holy script.
He just wanted to get on here.
So, when I submit you to here you get a crown in heaven? Well, for everyone I submit I get free snacks from the Evil Atheist Cabal, so... I think I'll take the snacks.
Now wait a minute here;
Hehe, bh actually WANTS the attention, you can be sure he's reading this thread. Well, this thread is a good start to the month, to bring some color into his drab, grey little life.
What the shit is all this about "crowns in heaven"?
...and now *we're* a sign of salvation?
They just keep getting crazier.
Yes, if you're not labelled a frothing, ranting lunatic who has a serious mental illness and deeply embedded delusions, then you aren't going to heaven. For visitor from RR who read this - you're all fucking lunatics. Drink some poison now and run 'home' to your Jesus. Go on, why don't you? GO ON, DO IT!
What are you doing to do with a crown when you're in Heaven?
Be proud of it? Sell it? Use it to get the ladies?
Seriously, what the hell are you going to do with a crown in Heaven??
And, it would be funnier if you didn't post this on here. It would be all 'ha dick no crowns 4 u'
receiving a crown in heaven.
What the serious fuck?
What are you people, three years old?
@ Lucilius: I'll help you out! I got steel-toed work boots, ice skates, *and* stilettoes!
Oh, and Buzzardhut, it's my pleasure. Anything to ensure that I don't have to hang around Rapture Readians in the afterworld.
if the folks over there know about us now that means they might just read some of these comments. unlikely but it might happen. that means all the insults, attempted reasoning, and witty jokes might finally be heard by those they were meant for. FINALLY.
course that means they might comment back...
This seems like a good occasion to do the godly thing and threaten them with hellfire if they don't worship us.
Hey, Buzzardhut! I demand a sacrifice of cookies! Else you won't get quoted again!
That's right Buzzardshit. You and your raptarded friends are so freaken important that getting quoted on the internet gets you into heaven. Seriously, get your head out of your ass. Also, you guys are really into persecution. Too bad it's never going to happen. Unlike you guys us 'heathens' have morals. You'll never be persecuted unless it's by people from another religion or people from a different sect of your own religion. Btw, if secret service goes to your house it's not because of christian persecution. It's because of your dumbass threatens the POTUS. Now go fap yourself sleep to mental images of getting gang "persecuted" by homosexual pagan atheists.
My thanks to the pagans for solidifying our security
Pagans? Since when were we all pagans?
And doesn't this seem a little... I don't know... arrogant and prideful? If I recall properly, pride is a sin.
Paul-He's a Mod on RR. He's not a Poe.
Anyway, does this mean if we shut down FSTDT we ruin everyone's chances of going to heaven? Could we potentially send everyone from RR straight to hell by ignoring them? Because that would be pretty bitchin'.
Papier-mache or plastic? I think the plastic ones are worth 5 points more.
Yeah, I'll go with FOSSIES because I was born to dance.
Buzzardhut is not a Poe or troll. He's a long-standing example of extreme fundyism and moving force behind RR.
And...I think that "FOSSIE" is a pejorative for one who accepts the fossil record as evidence for evolution.
So...now you need to be approved by this site to go into heaven?
Darn, I didn't know Xenu had given us this power...
I don't hate fundies, (except when they try to have the Government impose their spite-filled delusions on sane people).
I just think they're funny. It's sort of like how people used to visit Bedlam asylum to laugh at the lunatics.
#929409
2009-Feb-01 02:02 AM
"It's really more of a case of ensuring that we don't spend an eternity with the likes of you. "
Yeah - quite - if they fuckwits are guaranteed heaven then it's going to be one shitty miserable place. I'll take my chances with the heathens.
A Proposition for all RR lurkers on this site.
Want a crown in Heaven?
Just send me $79.99 and i'll get you quoted on FSTDT and ensure your salvation.
This offer will not last for ever, (The rapture is coming soon, remember?), get in now while stocks last.
Oh, yeah? Well, fundies, I'm an admin here on FSTDT, and I can get you quoted for the unrepeatable bargain price of just $49.99! Yes, that's right, Rapturists, a guaranteed crown in heaven for less than fifty bucks!! How can you refuse?
Cheaper than the guy above and more reliable!
*Holds up a sign*
"Will qoute for food"
Dear Buzzie,
It's people like you who are turning others away from Christianity in droves. Keep up the good work. Oh, um, don't get your hateful little heart too set on spending eternity with your precious Jeebus.
Love,
Satan
I found the passage that confirms RR's opinions, but it's not in support of their thinking.
Book of Rot, 11:21
For thee hast proven thou art a fucktard, there will be a quoting of thine foolish words on Fundies Say the Darndest Things. Where surely thou shalt be ridiculed, and thou shalt hang thy head, and not receive any supper.
Actually Buzzardgut this site is about pointing out the stupid things fundies of any religion or political stance say .
FSTDT > fundie god
Whoo-hoo!
Considering the quotes I have seen on here are from rape apologists, people who insult others for believing something other from them, condemning, it would give me more reason not to follow your religion and to follow my gods.And not all on FSTDT are Pagan. I am but I am in the good company of other Pagans,atheists, agnostics, even some Christians.
Just one more thing Buzzardgut I think you should actually read the articel that the OP in this thread conveniently provides and have a good hard think about it
Of course, this does NOT mean being hateful. Nor does it mean seeking to be hated. Or having a persecution complex, so you think people don’t like you because you’re following Christ, when they actually don’t like you because you’re an idiot .
Well, Buzzie and his friends can go partying because it's us/fstdt that decides whether they get into heaven for that golden crown. I didn't know they held us in awe.
Coming up in the church (I'm Pagan now) I heard the golden crown bs. Let's not forget the gold streets and gem-studded McMansions.
Buzz, not all of us are Pagans. We have a wonderful array of beliefs including Christians. You people are not persecuted. You have a death wish but you're not persecuted. Get over yourself.
So are we atheists or pagans? Make up your mind!
Buzzardhut: "Thanks for the crown, but it's a bit pointy for my liking. Hey, what does "dunce" mean?"
Oh noes! People hate us because we're assholes who would beat and kill our children if the Bible told us to! And it does, even though we choose to ignore that part! Also, won't it be fun when the atheists, gays, Muslims, Jews, Pagans, liberals, and Environmentalists are burning in Hell and we're up in Heaven with our benevolent God who loves everyone? Please kill me, Jesus! I want to kiss your ass NOW!
Buzzardhut, if hell exists, and God is in any way a moral being, you will definitely be taking up a permanent residence there. The things you promote are morally abominable.
And even if the Christian religion is true, you're probably still hell-bound. Your attitude has, no doubt, driven people away from the Christian religion in droves.
Millions of people depend on *this* website for the highest of the high salvation!
*Millions*!
*This* website, and not Rapture Ready! Not any of the bajillion Christian forums and sites and blog, however exquisitely and expensively crafted they may be!
*This* simple little website!
*This* one, focusing on Darndest Things!
Imagine that!
So, I'm doing the work of the Lawd?
Aiiiiieee, my irony meter! 71.2 TI!
I take back everything halfway decent I've ever said about Buzzardhut.
I don't hate you Buzz, just find you rather infuriating and at times remarkably amusing.
There is a website especially dedicated for ridiculing and hating us.
If you are on there you are more than likely receiving a crown in heaven.
If you are not mentioned you need to question your salvation
My thanks to the pagans for solidifying our security
I like it. The users of FSTDT determine which moron using Rapture Ready is going to heaven.
If I was god, I would automatically reject anyone that posted on Rapture Ready from going to heaven. Just about every atheist would be admitted into heaven because they chose to use the brain the I gave them.
To be fair, if you go look at the post in context, he uses emoticons that didn't come over with the FSTDT posting that indicate he is talking tongue-in-cheek, at least with the "question your salvation" line.
Not defending Buzzardhut in general, he has proven over and over to be a total ass and is way off with the idea that FSTDT was created for the sole purpose of attacking Rapture Ready, but this quote is only dickish and arrogant as opposed to totally delusional or trying to rewrite Scripture.
WOW...OMG...there are many others like Merle "True American Patriot" Jennings out there (I actually did know that, though)! It is an example of the "MacDonald's Syndrome": MacDonald's junk/unhealthy food (SHIT)is EVERYWHERE, and there are MANY people who choose to consume this junk (SHIT). That does NOT mean that it is RIGHT to consume this junk (SHIT). Likewise, there are MANY people who choose to consume and USE "their" religeon (SHIT) to debate topics, and to spew rediculous junk. Again, this does NOT mean that it (their religeous SHIT) is RIGHT...it is (unfortunately) EVERYWHERE, especially here!!!
"You won't get into Heaven, unless you've been quoted by fstdt."
Wait, wha...okay, now you're just makin' up rules!
YES!! i can feel the power, we now have the authority of who goes to heaven, christ, i love being god!!
No, actually, if by some weird turn of destiny your god or anything similar happens to be truth, none of you would go to heaven, bunch of hateful assholes, especially the ones quoted here.
Hey Buzzardnuts, you moronic, cunt-brained, Jesus-rimming, Dumbya's cock-sucking, sister-fucking inbred, tinfoil hat-wearing, neocon TWAT!
...that enough ridicule & hate for you? Now drink this Kool-Aid...
>:D
Now, if anyone on Ruptured Retards feels they've been left out of having that Persecution Complex of yours justified, just keep posting your idiocy on your forum of insanity, bigotry & hatred. You'll be quoted & have the piss taken out of such/logically destroyed before long. However, if you stopped being right-wing, opinionated, bigoted fuckwits, then you wouldn't be hated & ridiculed. And if ALL fundies everywhere did the same, then material would dry up, FSTDT would cease to exist, and we'd get on with our lives. In a better, nicer, fundie-free world.
Your call, RR.
Aw, honey, I'm not a pagan. I'm an atheist. And, alas, it isn't all about RR.
Ridiculing, yes. Hating you, no.
Are you saying we are God?
Regarding the offense you have taken for being publicly quoted, I think that you´re not likely to be taken to Heaven, because you have given Christianity a bad name. If you´re so sure and convinced of your thesis, why are you so angry when they go public?, or you have something to hide?.
Hi, I'm a Christian and the only time people get stuff quoted on this site is when they're being hateful, ignorant, or downright stupid. It's totally justified. Also, God decides who gets into heaven, not you, so get over yourself.
I fucking hate this line of reasoning.
"If you're not being 'attacked by teh debbil,' and everything's going great, then something's probably not right with your 'walk.'
I hear it more often than I care to admit, and it never made sense.
"If you're happy, you're not right with God."
This takes one of the few redeeming qualities of religion/faith/spirituality - providing inner peace to people who want it - and throws it out the window.
These people are unhappy, and the only way they can explain it is that teh debbil is against them... so that's what they teach their kids: You're not allowed to be happy.
So...you can only get into heaven by not understanding science, not understanding religion, making stupid analogies, not understanding government, generally making God look like one of the worst people on the planet and justifying misogyny?
I'll stick with hell.
So it takes being stupid, ignorant, callous, terrorist sympathizing, hateful to be in heaven?
Sorry, honey, no. We ridicule all kinds of fundies, and we don't bother hating any of you.
If you are on here, you're more than likely getting the "goat" treatment at the pearly gate. (Matthew 25:41)
Some of us are Christians, dearie, only not fundamentalists. Some are pagans, yes, and some are deists.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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