[In the past I have told my partner that I really don't want him having sex with me when I am sleepy/asleep and it did stop, but recently it has started again. I am a really deep sleeper, but sometimes I do get the sensation that I am being messed with and wake up. Rather than say no I try to remain still and unresponsive but he still ends up having sex with me whilst I am on my side. If I say anything he'll just say that I thrust my backside at him and I should stop being so desirable, wheras I just see it as me lying in bed. I don't know what to do.]
Lots of couples do this.
Feminists want all sex to be rape to get at the bastard men.
OP needs to make time to be intimate. She should appreciate that the guy has stayed faithful through what must be a difficult time for the poor bloke.
I think rape must involve a degree of protestation at the time. Here there is none.