I find it amusing that Hannah phrases this as “players” in general, as if but one of the delusions she’s suffering from is that all or even most players just have no clue what their character is capable of. As if they robotically go through the motions of character generation, write down attack bonuses, weapons, damage, spells, all that, but beyond imaginary pronouns, horn and tail shape, and skin color, have no fucking clue what they just did, or even why.

I like to imagine that, come game day, if it ever comes, that, I dunno, an albino goblin with a MAGA hat ambushes the group, waving a flail that the they/them/it/zir/zit/zor/zoop/zuul/zardoz demiqueer blue-skinned tiefling paladin's pansexual black gender-neutral government sanctioned life partner mistakes for a noose. The character utters a thank you to Obamad-Hai for this opportunity to build back this world, to make it better, but when zhey look at zheir sheet become paralyzed with indecision: do you...attack? With...your sword? No, wait...is that "creative" enough?

Well, you’re an inept poser that only pretends to play, so you probably only took the one weapon anyway, but even that is apparently enough to overload your intellectually and emotionally deficient brain. I’d suggest they play something like Troika, but even a system ripped off from a choose-your-own-adventure series might be too much for them to handle. Plus there's no blue-skinned gay tiefling class. Or maybe there is. Probably on itch.io somewhere for five bucks, because fuck capitalism.