I used to spend time crafting a New Years email with family photos that included my son and daughter along with my husband and myself smiling and proud of our beautiful family. Since my now 22 year old SON succumbed to this heinous body/mind destroying cult at 19, I have lost momentum to write and choose photos for a New Years greeting. The trans cult poisons holidays, as holidays are anything but celebratory, but instead a painful reminder that my life is farther and farther away from my son being healthy and intact hearts of my husband and myself. My daughter's holidays are also a painful reminder of her close family torpedoed along with her close relationship with her brother. There is no holiday outside my horror and daily effort to salvage scraps of well-being. I am disgusted by two holiday letters I receive with photos of parents smiling with a pretend "son" and another couple smiling with their disfigured "nonbinary" daughter, flat chested after her double mastectomy at 19. I am also sad when I receive holiday cards from others unscathed and oblivious to the horror I endure every day.