Your definition of "asshole" defines what most consider rational. No one "teaches" their kids to reject delusional pronouns. It's a natural impulse by any mentally healthy person.

You simply cannot teach a gene to ignore science.

It is irrational to expect healthy people to instantly assess when a person suffers from a mental illness such as Gender Dysphoria, especially kids.

Moreover it’s absurd and rather rude to assume everyone must play along with one’s delusional pronoun therapy without asking politely first.

Your Gender Dysphoria is a personal battle, a burden which should never be forced upon school kids under the threat of ruining their lives.

That is the true definition of an “asshole”.