I would also let them know that while they may not be sexually attracted to someone of the opposite sex, we chose who we love and they are plenty capable of having a healthy and happy marriage with someone of the opposite sex, and that its a lie society has told us that love is not a choice. It is.
31 comments
Ok, a gay person may be capable of loving a person of the opposite sex, after all there is more than one kind of love, but:
Actually, what helped me come out as gay instead of bi as I thought at the time, was dating a wonderful man I really, really wanted to love. Obviously I couldn't. I'm just as incapable of romantically loving men as I am of being sexually attracted to them. Fortunately I realized this before we got married. But I'm sure all those miserable marriages that have broken up when one member came out were really in love in a happy healthy marriage...
You can choose to love someone romantically? Really? I don't think you know what love is. You can choose to enter a relationship. But you can't choose to have feelings for that person.
Edit: Also, forcing yourself or someone else into a relationship will not make it happy and healthy. In fact, I'd say it would mostly cause the opposite.
Actually, no. Though there are relationships where neither person is sexually attracted to anyone, and they're happy and healthy without sex, most people have a need for sex to some degree. You have no idea how damaging it is to a person's self-esteem to be in a long term relationship with someone who just isn't sexually attracted to that person or just doesn't like sex at all. For some people, such as myself, sexual attraction is a must on both sides of the relationship or else we tear ourselves up from the inside out. Also love, just like any other feeling, is not a choice.
Ladies, gentlemen and all those in between, I present to you- Hetsplaining. Remember LGBT+ folks, the straight person on the internet knows more about your desires than you do. You better listen up so you can laugh at them later.
So close. SO CLOSE.
I'm asexual, but not aromantic, and I have a long-distance relationship going on (with a man, if that's important. I'm a woman). Relationships are about more than sex, and if both you and your partner are willing to go without, more power to you and to them. As my boyfriend is heterosexual, and as this relationship is long-distance, I wouldn't be angry if he fulfilled his sexual needs in other ways. Hell, I wouldn't be angry if the relationship was face-to-face.
However, you don't choose whom you love, and there is no "wrong type" of love. If, hypothetically, two heterosexual men were to get married and never had sex with each other, would that be wrong to you?
its a lie society has told us that love is not a choice. It is.
And you know this, how? Because you think that's how it is? Or that's how you want it to be?
When the people involved keep telling you the opposite and you yourself don't have any firsthand experience with homosexuality, why do you keep insisting that you know the answers?
Delusional is as delusional does.
"...we chose who we love and they are plenty capable of having a healthy and happy marriage with someone of the opposite sex..."
I believe it, so it must be true. Also, run-on sentence.
Not how that works. At all.
@Old Viking
It seems to go more like: If reality doesn't support your belief then condemn that aspect of reality or If reality doesn't support your belief then ignore that reality and pretend it doesn't exist (aka Fox News Bubble)
Okay, let's for a moment accept your patently incorrect premise: that being Gay is a choice.
So what?
If people want to pursue a relationship with someone of their own gender, and that other person is open to it, good for them. Give me one good reason why it is in any way a bad thing.
The bible doesn't count. I said a GOOD reason.
I see a falsifiable hypothesis that kmrichard7 should volunteer to demonstrate with an unfamiliar member of the same sex. This of course assumes he/she does not have Bi inclinations to begin with.
Photos and video evidence of the consummation will be required. At the very least making out, heavy petting, lots of happy snuggling.
Should be a walk in the park.
So the only way a gay or a lesbian person is acceptable to you is if they enter a chaste, sexless relationship with someone of the opposite sex and gender and pretend to he heterosexual, so as not to offend your delicate sensibilities, and resign themselves to remaining celibate for the rest of their lives.
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
You can't choose who you fall in love with.
If your premise is false your conclusion must be too.
BTW if you could choose who you fall in love with, we would be without most of the great, plays, novels ,and operas of the world;Romeo and Juliet, Far from the Madding Crowd, Carmen, Tosca, and Norma spring immediately to mind.
We do not choose who we love. Ask all the ones who are in unhealthy relationships but can't get out because they have strong feelings about the dolt.
"plenty capable"? That's now how the word "plenty" is to be used, surely? It IS sometimes used like that, I know, but it is a measure of quantity, and capability doesn't have an amount.
They are perhaps capable of having a sham facade marriage with someone of the opposite sex, and only having sex to procreate, not to bond or to enjoy each other.
The lie is that sexual orientation is a choice, asshole!
So when did you choose to be heterosexual? And why do you have such a problem with who other people choose to love? How exactly would it matter to you? Just because it doesn't agree with your specific religious mythology? Why should you get to impose your religious mythology onto others? You probably claim it's against your bible, but so is not killing those that work on the sabbath, and not killing stubborn and rebellious children. I'd bet you aren't in favor of that, right? But why? It's what your bible says...
> "plenty capable"? That's now how the word "plenty" is to be used, surely? It IS sometimes used like that, I know, but it is a measure of quantity, and capability doesn't have an amount.
*sigh* That's a plenty common idiom in certain regions. There's plenty enough to comment on in this post without resorting to nitpicking.
No marriage based on a lie can be a healthy and happy one. Especially if it is a lie that one tells one's self.
"Ex-gay" people live lives of self-inflicted torment and guilt, forcing them to put on smiles to try to convince themselves and their religious leaders that the therapy worked and that they're really straight, until they brainwash themselves into believing they are straight.
The other camp are bisexuals who believe that any attraction to the same sex makes them "gay", in which case, attraction to the opposite sex comes to them naturally enough that they seem to be successful conversions... but they still will inflict pain and guilt on themselves every time they see or think of an attractive member of the same sex.
The lie that society has told us is that suffering is a virtue.
Sexuality is a very fascinating subject, honestly, especially when you factor in people who are homoerotic but heteroromantic, or vice verse.
@Dizzy Dream
While I'm sympathetic to gay people doing what they want, "hetsplaining" is a really retarded idea.
Arguments stand on their merits, not on who is saying them. This is social justice warrior talk. It's crap.
You might as well argue that a cancer patient knows more about cancer than a doctor (who has never had cancer himself).
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
