Fort Lauderdale’s Republican Mayor Jim Naugle wants to spend a quarter million dollar on a robotic toilet that is supposed to make it more difficult of horny gays to have public sex on the beach.
“We’re trying to provide a family environment where people can take their children who need to use the bathroom,” he said, “without having to worry about a couple of men in there engaged in a sex act.”
The proposed location for the toilet is the world-famous gay beach Sebastian Beach, where the high-tech toilet will allow occupants to stay inside for only a short period of time before the door opens. Naugle thinks this will prevent the “homosexual activity” that he said plagues other public restrooms.
Naugle also said, “I don’t use the word ‘gay.’ I use the word ‘homosexual.’ Most of them aren’t gay. They’re unhappy.”
Fort Lauderdale police say sex in restrooms is not a problem in the city. “There’s no evidence, no reports or arrests made for any men having sex in any restrooms,” said Sgt. Frank Sousa.
But still the mayor thinks it is. “Public restrooms are pickup places for “homosexuals. ... They’re engaging in sex, anonymous sex, illegal sex,” he said.
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the high-tech toilet will allow occupants to stay inside for only a short period of time before the door opens.
What about those of us with wacked-out digestive systems, then? Do the second half of our business with the door open? I'm not sure anyone wants that...
The mayor obviously knows something the police don't. Maybe he's been vigilantly patrolling the various public restrooms around Fort Lauderdale.
At least, thats what he will tell the police when he gets caught :)
@julian
I think you could get both done in five minutes if you tried. But not both at the same time.
Yes because watching someone take a shit is much more family friendly. What the fuck.
Also, this made me laugh. "Despite the fact that it doesn't happen, I still say it does! It happens because I said so! ...Shut up!"
... They're engaging in sex, anonymous sex, illegal sex," he said.
Last I heard, sex between men is not illegal. Furthermore, it's not sex in a public place. It's a public restroom, but I'm certain any rational person would agree that a restroom cubicle, even within a public restroom, is not a public place when there's someone in it with the door closed. That's why they have doors with bolts on them! Therefore, two men having sex in a closed restroom cubicle are neither having unlawful sexual relations, nor engaging in public indecency.
If you're really that worried about other people using the restroom being disturbed, soundproof the door.
What if I'm taking a really long piss? Should I finish outside, or just stay there? Would it be indecent exposure because I didn't intend to expose myself? What if I'm taking a shit? Should I wipe, exposing myself further? This is a really assholish thing to do.
I'm glad that the city has a Republican mayor. As we all know, Democrats love to dream up problems, throw money at them, and then cause a host of unintended but painfully obvious consequences.
But still the mayor thinks it is. "Public restrooms are pickup places for "homosexuals. ... They're engaging in sex, anonymous sex, illegal sex," he said."
Yeah, the grimlins in his ear canal told him so.
I take it that heteros never get horny at the beach? Or I guess they have morals so they take it home. I beg to differ.
You would think that the residents of Fort Lauderdale would have noticed that giant tinfoil hat with attached radar dish before they eleceted Jim mayor...
Holy crap, Batman! *rimshot*
Let's take a look at just how many ways this guy is an idiot, hm?
1) He doesn't take into account the fact that some bodily functions take longer than others.
2) He actually believes that public restrooms are 'pickup places' for gay men. I'm pretty sure that's what they have nightclubs for, Jimmy.
3) He believes that all homosexuals are unhappy, discontented perverts. Having spent a lot of time in the East Village, I can say this is not the case.
4) He believes homosexuality is illegal. (How'd he get elected with such a tenuous grasp of law?)
4) He ignores his own police force regarding the issue, despite the fact that they have forensics teams and investigators who would have, even accidentally, found some evidence of this 'plague of gay sex.'
This Naugle guy reminds me of all those "red scare" public service films about "those evil Commies."
Stupid missing Edit function...
I missed my own typo. Obviously, that last point was supposed to be #5, and not #4 the Second.
Waitaminute... so now kids are grossed out more when it's gays having sex than when it's one man and one woman having sex? Can you prove that, Jimmy Naugle? Or are you just using the oft-spouted 'THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!11' argument to project your fears and dislikes onto other, more vulnerable beings?
I live in Fort Lauderdale, and I can definitely say, I have never seen people having sex in the bathroom, nor do I want doors flying open revealing people using the toilet.
Fuck...
Wanna bet this is going to catch more teenage couples than homosexuals?
Notice the meaning 'happy' for the word gay. Looks like Jimmy's somewhere in the 19th century, and marching backwards.
"I don't use the word 'gay.' I use the word 'homosexual.' Most of them aren't gay."
I don't call this statement stupid, i use the word moronic, it isn't stupid.
Ladies and Gentlemen of Fort Lauderdale,
This is your tax dollars at work!
Please tell me there are people who handle the budget with a scrap of common sense...
first of all, i don't know ANYBODY--gay or straight--who would have sex in a public toilet cubicle. that's just dirty. ew.
second of all, which would scar you for life more:
1) the cubicle door swinging open to reveal two guys having "hawt buttsecks"
or
2) the cubicle door swinging open to reveal a fat sweaty pale guy in flip-flops with a speedo around his ankles, concentrating really hard on his bowel movement?
personally, i'd be less traumatized by the buttsecks.
Stick out a leg and keep the door closed.
Then it doesn't matter what you're doing in there. The door won't open.
Problem for people with *issues* or gettin' it on SOLVED!
Sadly, I can't help Naugle. Only a couple of good blowjobs can take care of that. :P
"There's no evidence, no reports or arrests made for any men having sex in any restrooms,"
"They're engaging in sex, anonymous sex, illegal sex,"
INVISIBLE HOMOSEX!
Fort Lauderdale's Republican Mayor Jim Naugle wants to spend a quarter million dollar on a robotic toilet that is supposed to make it more difficult of horny gays to have public sex on the beach.
Oh god I cant stop laughing at this. It's a transformer that gos around attacking gay people on the beach. That was my first thought.
So, you are only allowed to do "number one" on those beaches?
How does he know that they are unhappy.
No straight republican has ever bought sex, anonymous sex, illegal sex, ever. Oh, wait...
Listen to the police, they probably know best what goes on around town.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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