[You're going to love this...hide your irony meters, folks!]
A Request to Atheists
A publisher has asked if I can suggest someone to give a me Foreword for my new book, You Can Lead an Atheist to Evidence, But You Can't Make Him Think.
Any takers? If we use it, I will make sure you get attribution. The book is due out Jan/Feb. 2009, so you will need to be quick. Thanks.
78 comments
I'm almost tempted to step forward just so as to read what is undoubtedly a collection of logical fallacies, ad hominem attacks, gross misrepresentations, and blatant lies.
Let me guess, more "An atheist's nightmare is a banana" sort of nonsense.
And thanks for the heads up, my irony meter started fizzling and popping. I quickly turned off my computer screen and hid the meter in the closet. It has stopped making noise now so I think it is starting to cool off.
Attribution, of course, but notice... not *pay*.
Ray, hon, generally if we want someone to do something for us that's going to make us money, generally we agree to give them something in return for it. Something of monetary value.
That nobody would do this for free is hardly a shock. I can't imagine anybody doing an foreword without being offered at least a few complimentary copies.
A Request to Christians
A publisher has asked if I can suggest someone to give a me Foreword for my new book, You Can Lead a Christian to Evidence, But You Can't Make Him Think.
Any takers? If we use it, I will make sure you get attribution. The book is due out Jan/Feb. 2009, so you will need to be quick. Thanks.
Well, geeze, Louise. I'd like to go for this myself . . . but, I just can't think of anything to say.
Just can't think
This sounds like a lulzy book, I look forward to reading it...
...via piracy or a library of course. No fucking way I'd pay for your crap.
"DEAR READER,
"Ray here has a way of handling the truth in a fashion that would embarrass not only his mother and his children, but also his mechanic and barber.
"This is a light-hearted revelation of Ray's famous labyrinthine 'logic', ostensibly whipped up in order to pay the bills.
"So, grab a seat and a good stiff drink, because what follows alternates between schoolyard wit and pompous preachifyin'...one non-sequitur segueing artlessly yet enthusiastically into another... Ray fills a void, there's no better way to put it.
"Ray fills a void."
-- Grigadil von Schlimmbesserungen.
A Request to Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron
The internet has asked that you both become an heroes. Could you you shoot yourselves or drown in a bathtub or die in a fire? Post it on YouTube for our amusement.
You're still alive, so you're still both being douchebags, you'll need to be quick. Thanks.
My Foreword:
"Ray Comfort is a moron. Please don't buy this book. Please read a small amount of it for free in the library, get a good laugh, and go along on your way. Under no circumstances can this man be expected to come up with anything of substance, and only sounds like he knows what he is saying when he is battering strawmen to smithereens, and launching ad-hominems gleefully from his perceived moral high ground. He is a pompous ass and an intellectual light-weight among intellectual light-weights. So, please, I beg you, don't feed his ego by actually forking money for this rag. Get a brief estimation of what his arguments are worth and move on from there. Spend your money on something worth reading instead. If you really want to see atheists torn into, log on to the internet and look for someone who actually knows what they are talking about. They are almost guaranteed to have better arguments than Ray Comfort, even if said arguments still fall flat on their face when put into practice. But, if you have a desire to torment yourself and lower your I.Q., please, by all means, read it cover to cover. I hereby present the Banana King himself: Ray Comfort!"
Haha, oh man.
If theres one sentence that sums up Ray Comfort, and his butt buddy Kirk Cameron, its this:
He tried to prove the existence of God, with a banana.
After having upgraded my Irony Meter with a set of fuses to alleviate the overload problems (and hopefully to spare my wallet), I now face new problems in having to spend monthly fortunes on replacement fuses. I think I must file a consumer report to ACME that their Irony Meters have to be made to milspec standards from now on.
I'm sorry Ray, but after the banana incident, I'll never take anything you say seriously ever again. If you told me the sky was blue, I'd still go and check it myself.
The original title was going to be:
"You Can Lead an Atheist to Evidence, But You Can't Make Him Think Like You Do, Because the Evidence You Led Him to, Where Not Completely False, Doesn't Actually Support Your Position Without the Kind of Mental Gymnastics that Would Make You Believe God Created Bananas Specifically to Fit the Human Hand."
But it was too long (also Ray thought the implied honesty was out of character).
One banana, two banana, three banana, four
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la, tra-la-la, la-la-la-la!
My irony meter didn't explode, it just fell over laughing. What does that mean?
Ray Comfort is a kook. There is really nothing more that can be said about the poor chap. He's nuttier than squirrel shit and will remain as such.
Let me get this straight, Ray.
You're publishing a book with a title that implies that atheists don't think--and you're asking atheists to help you with it? Free of charge?
You aren't just warped--you're bent.
*BOOM*
Dammit, there goes another one.
*Dials phone*
Hello, Currys? Can I have another irony meter, please? Yes, yes, I've been on FSTDT again. I'm not the only one? I guess that's why Dixons plc's shares have gone up recently.
I'm still waiting for you yokels to credit me for your unapproved use of my statements to promote your trashy board game.
And yes, I've played your board game. It's horribly designed, ludicrously biased- though at least you were honest enough to admit that- most or all of your quotations of scientists are quote mines that you had been called out for recently, and Wikipedia is a good 60% of your listed sources.
Which is to say nothing of the game play. In short, it is broken. One can decide to remain at the start of the game for the entire play, and still emerge victorious based on the asinine method of victory. If not for the laughs at your expense the game brought us, there would have been no benefit in buying your game.
*on ACME's irony meter factory*
Some options:
"I need a new irony meter."
"Logic should be learned, not made up. This book shows you why."
"Read this book. We need more atheists."
@#807410
He's actually still peddling the banana shit. Check out the "Atheist Test" link on his website.
I'm glad someone else noticed that! I actually commented on his blog once, telling him he was a fucking moron for using the 'banana argument'. He responded by acknowledging that the argument was flawed and that he stopped using it... but I could still see it EVERYWHERE in stupid shit he still peddled. And his Coke can argument is equally stupid.
@Horsefeathers
i.e. A forward that's more of an embarrassment to atheists than to fundies, that proves every point he's trying to make about atheists.
So you'd have to be real selective about you're wording.
@John
What evidence? The banana? The lack of a crocoduck?
We have the fossils, DNA, and whatever else points to the theory of evolution being correct, and creationism being the stupid and irrelevant religious doctrine that it is.
"Olio: If theres one sentence that sums up Ray Comfort, and his butt buddy Kirk Cameron, its this:
He tried to prove the existence of God, with a banana."
That brought on "peels" of laughter for sure!
"Reverend David (yes I am a Minister)
Amen - coming from an atheist, that's quite an achievement.
Seriously, I read his reason for this site but I still don't understand what the whole atheist's corner thing is all about.
And when will they ever learn that we don't have a belief or beliefs?
FUCK!
"Any takers?"
I'll write your Foreword, Ray Cumfart, if you forward me a fee of £20,000.
...what's that? You haven't gotten the authors' advance from the publishers, yet? Why's that, hmmmmmmm?! Because no large publishing house worth it's reputation would so much as touch your works of fiction with someone else's 50-foot cattle prod?
Oh well, I guess you'll have to make do with no Foreword. It certainly explains your arse-backward way of thinking - as evidenced by the title of said work of fiction, pal.
@Rat of Steel
What is a fundie? A miserable little pile of bullshit!
[/Castlevania]
Ray, will your book be made from soft and absorbent paper which will be kind to my arse?
Bloody hell, he did actually publish this thing. The Amazon reviews tend to slate it though.
Sure, YOU can't make him (or her) think. Firstly, they are already thinking all by themselves.
Here's a Foreword: "Go for it Ray, we could use something new to laugh at."
"You Can Lead An Atheist To Made-Up Non-Evidence But You Can't Make Him/Her Believe It" would have been a much more apt title.
Oh yes, and I buried my irony meter in a concrete bunker twenty feet underground - and still it blew up.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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