Jerry, the Bible is an anthology of books in many genres, written over centuries, edited for millenia. It documents a radical change over time in the views and believes of God, and was written in a time that differs from ours in more than just philosophy. No one can literally follow everything in the Bible.
If anything, you are the false Christians*, for you ignore the historical and literary context, you make no attempt to actually figure out how to apply the lessons of history into the modern time, you ignore the core message of the man you claim to follow, you reduce the Bible to confirm and conform to your personal bigotry. Like every other Christian, you make a selection - and you are the ones who pick the worst parts. Therefore, it is in your own interest for you to just leave.
I do not know whether you are genuine or an atheist idiot who tries to parody or discredit Christianity, but here, all you could accomplish is making the "false Christians" appear sane in comparison to the vast majority of posters. A good hatemonger, whether he wants to convert or radicalise, goes not after those who are already established as outside of his group, but after those who are insecure.
Oh, "the Select". So you are a Calvinist, or in other words, utterly beyond help.
If it is you who will go to Heaven, I certainly prefer Hell.
*Well, beyond those who are in it for money or power, a category which indeed almost certainly includes at least the majority of televangelists.