My wife is a devout Catholic, and I'm a staunch Calvinist Protestant so we butt heads on evolution all the time. She claims that a 'day' described in Genesis (7 days of creation) could have a total different meaning back while the earth, moon, sun were being created - so 1 day could have been 1 billion years. I personally believe in the literal translation that it took 7 days - if it was any different, why would the Word of God tell us 7 days when it actually was 1mil-1bil years.
But, on a personal level, I overlook her wacky beliefs...
64 comments
Hahaha, yes that is a good way to finish off. But if you believe the word of God, the world was created TWICE, and it's not clear which universe we are living in, the first or the second. (The first would make more sense, where he made men and women, because it would not require so much incest to get the population going.)
"why would the Word of God tell us 7 days when it actually was 1mil-1bil years. "
Because the "word" of "god" is a Sumerian creation myth.
"But, on a personal level, I overlook her wacky beliefs... "
I wouldn't tolerate yours.
" ... if it was any different, why would the Word of God tell us 7 days when it actually was 1mil-1bil years."
'Cause it was written 2,500 years ago by people who were utterly ignorant of geology, cosmology, any scientific-ology and the virtues of empirical fact in general, plus it was meant to be a moral "Just So Story" rather than being taken literally?
Just sayin'.
I suspect she puts up with yours.
Listen to your wife.
Could have been seven stages.
Haha no I'm not a christian, but I was one...
[But, on a personal level, I overlook her wacky beliefs...]
That's very magnanimous of you.
"if it was any different, why would the Word of God tell us 7 days when it actually was 1mil-1bil years."
Because tribes of nomadic sheep-herders have trouble contemplating 100 years, much less longer periods.
But, on a personal level, I overlook her wacky beliefs...
So what you are telling me is that pussy comes before god. I'm sure your skydaddy is happy now!
If it takes a billion years for an all-powerful gawd to make a planet, he's the slowest, laziest, most ineffectual motherfucker ever .
Not worthy of worship. Not by me, anyway.
@ Headache - LMFAO!!!!
It was 6 days, not 7. Also, if you are a staunch Calvinist Protestant, why do "butt heads" with your wife on that issue, when her salvation or damnation was predestined from eternity regardless? Repent, heathen!
And that's the problem with wacky beliefs in a nutshell. Since they don't have to conform to anything even approaching reality, there is an infinite number of incompatible wacky beliefs. Or to put it another way, truth is finite, bullshit is infinite.
Personally, I think GenghisHahn is a waste of oxygen, but I'm willing to overlook it.
"if it was any different, why would the Word of God tell us 7 days when it actually was 1mil-1bil years."
Uh... the Bible DOES say that one day to God is like 1mil years to us. So by not taking the Bible literaly, your wife is actually using the Bible better.
If anyone knows verse and passage that would be great.
"wacky beliefs"
Oh for fuck's sake...
"But, on a personal level, I overlook her wacky beliefs..."
I just passed the Irony Event Horizon!
Bit of a poeish user name but never mind.
I pity your wife. She really should leave you.
I bet sundays are real fundays in your house....
But, on a personal level, I overlook her wacky beliefs...
- As I hope she overlooks yours.
@MrNoName: It's 2 Peter 3:8 - "But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day." (And that's New Testament, so theoretically it should count more than Genesis...)
"But, on a personal level, I overlook her wacky beliefs..."
Oh man, I banged my hand on the desk at that one, first time I really laughed at loud at one of these quotes for a while!
But, on a personal level, I overlook her wacky beliefs...
Way to go. You've proved to the world that you are batshit insane.
Holy shit, I can't breathe XD
I thought they were immune to identifying insanity! The kettle just called, it wants its cultural identity back!
Seriously, that is hilarious and amazing. 0_o
But, on a personal level, I overlook her wacky beliefs...
I bet he only does that to get sex.
You know the old trick question, "have you stopped beating your wife?" ...well, since violence, implied or real, isn't nice, I think I've finally found a much nicer trick question.
"Have you stopped having wacky beliefs?"
A day two thousand years ago was only 12-18 hours. Sunup to sundown. And a year was anywhere from April to November. Planting to harvest. So you cannot measure time back then using modern spans like 24-hour days or 12-month years in regards to a civilization that had neither hours nor months.
Also, you disrespect your own wife by calling her beliefs 'wacky'. Not saying they aren't, but you both believe a dude could walk on water, so nix the superiority complex. You're as wacky as she is, dogmatically speaking.
if it was any different, why would the Word of God tell us 7 days when it actually was 1mil-1bil years.
*Pokes GenghisHahn* Pssstttt... there is another possibility... the bible may be something called "fiction" ...
Your house must be a hotbed of intellectual debate. Harvard and Oxford will look like kindergartens by comparison.
I rather like the idea of a married couple taking completely opposing views of something that never fucking happened in the first place. That might be an allegory for marriage generally, come to think of it.
...and she overlooks your wacky beliefs.
According to the Bible it took SIX days, and it doesn't say how many hours a day was. A day is the span of time it takes for the Earth to make one entire rotation. If the Earth spins a little bit slower, the day will become a little bit longer.
BTW, what does this have to do with evolution?
But, on a personal level, I overlook her wacky beliefs...
Everybody is somebody's weirdo.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.