image: What Would Jesus Do? Kick a liberal in the balls!
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I have know Liberal Ball Kicker for a long time, and I know that he stands for the same things as I do.
Converting Americans and forigners to Christianity by any means necessary
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The election is coming up and we need to focus on the issues most important to Americans:
67 comments
Yeah, because we all know Jesus was about taxing the poor, nationalism, and giving yahoos a way to kill each other!
This has to be a fake. I mean, Tom DeLay, a handsome devil? I know, de grustibus non est disputandum , but you can only go so far.
What did Liberals do that was so offensive? I'll tell you what they did. LIBERALS got women the right to vote. LIBERALS got African-American the right to vote. We created Social Security and lifted millions of elderly people out of poverty. LIBERALS ended segregation, LIBERALS passed the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act. LIBERALS created Medicare, passed the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act.
I'm tempted to consider this a parody; it's so over-the-top cheesy in its obviousness. Jesus kicking liberals in the gonads? Somehow I don't think that's quite what was meant by "turn the other cheek."
@ quantumspirit: I think you'll appreciate this:A Day in Life of Joe Republican
Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare
his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some
tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.
With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His
medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought
to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical
plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for
paid medical insurance -- now Joe gets it, too.
He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe
to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the
meat packing industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is
properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total
contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know
what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he
breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought
for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.
He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to
work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation
fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public
transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a
contributor.
Joe begins his workday. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy
liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.
Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't
want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or
becomes unemployed, he'll get a workers compensation or unemployment
check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home
because of his temporary misfortune.
It's noontime, and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC, because some
godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous
bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his
below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided
that Joe and the government would be better off if he were educated
and earned more money over his lifetime.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at
his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His
car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating
liberal fought for car safety standards.
He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live
in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers
didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity
until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't
belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on
Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking,
cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe
wouldn't have to.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk
show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and
conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved
Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe
enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those
big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self- made
man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I
have."
How completely terrible is it that I'm pretty sure that site is parody, but for the life of me I can't be 100% certain because some people out there actually are that batshit?
Newsflash, moron. Jesus was a liberal.
Aside from possibly the flat tax and estate tax (and those only possibly), none of the things you apparently stand for are good ideas. In fact, they are universally horrible ideas. "Death Tax/Paris Hilton Tax" section of the Bush Game.
And here, ladies and gentlemen, we have an example of how the republicans and christian fundamentalists have redirected the attention of the American people away from important issues and focused it on complete fluff.
Dysperdis:
This has to be sarcasm.
What problem do you have with Brown v. Board of Education? Could it be that you hate black people? I find that shocking.
So, according to your motto, God loves everyone but I´m not God, you´re a liar and hypocrite. Tell me man, do you think you´re excused by that?. I thought that the main thing was to show God´s love and you´re contradicting yourself. I could remind you of a parable about the asshole of servant who applied double standards but I just tell you a very useful comment. We can´t see God, so, if you don´t act as the image and likeness you´re meant to be created, forget it. You´re not convincing anybody.
You know what? I'm an American, and I couldn't give less of a shit about your two of your three "most important issues," and the third one, I'm against.
The only one that even borders on good idea is the manditory gun ownership law.
How dare you link to my site with out my express written permission!!?!!?
Jesus loves you*
All I see when I read this is:
The rich people who tell me what to believe aren't powerful enough. We should make church and state one thing so that they can punish people for not being superstitious. That would make my lords and masters even more powerful, so that they can exploit me even more.
I think that would be awesome, that's why I think we should kill everyone who opposes these ideas.
@Crosis:
Liberals are the cancer that is killing the world with their faggotry,PETA,Barack Obama and their moronic presence on this earth.All liberals must be killed with fire for good!And they believe muslisms did 9/11 although they have watched films like Loose Change,911 mysteries and so on...They say that we(the normal people) are closed-minded and ignorant when they refuse to see that the media is telling them LIES ALL THE TIME!!!Unless those buttworms are killed the world will go down!
The election is coming up and we need to focus on the issues most important to Americans:
Interesting set of priorities.
In my humble opinion, the following topics are most important to Americans:
- Peak Oil
But noooooo, (sarcasm = on) all of this is unimportant. The question whether homosexuals can marry is much, much more important! As long as homosexuals are allowed to marry, all other topics must stand back until this abomination is eliminated! (enough sarcasm?)
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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