Bride of Jesus #fundie

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Gay people and athiests are you rapture ready?

All Christians know that the end is in sight. We are not afraid because we will end up in heaven. I wonder if the non believers out there are ready for the end of days? Does it scare you? Dont you think it is time to convert and join us?

78 comments

old comment by J. Random Lurker

"Gay people and athiests are you rapture ready?"

No, because we know the rapture is a 19th century invention that doesn't even mesh with the bible. It is literally something a guy by the name of Darby pulled from his rectum.

"All Christians know that the end is in sight."

Lying for Jebus, much? Somehow I doubt most mainstream Protestant denominations, Eastern Orthodoxy, and the Catholic Church would say so--they would say that, "We don't know the hour when the lord is coming."

"We are not afraid because we will end up in heaven."

O RLY? And how are you sure that the 144,000 have not already been taken--or that you were left behind because your god thought that your ilk are serious dicks?

"I wonder if the non believers out there are ready for the end of days?"

I wonder if there are believers out there who don't believe in this whacko death cult?

"Does it scare you?"

No, because the rapture will never happen, and Jebus won't be returning--he was never here to begin with. This of course notwithstanding that the chances of your god existing are at best microscopically small, if not at zero. So, why should I be scared of things that will never happen, and things that don't exist?

"Dont you think it is time to convert and join us?"

Join your whacko death cult? Are you seriously insane?

old comment by Eden

All Christians know that the end is in sight.

Hm,
let me see:
Not every christian fundamentalist believes in the rapture and no mainstream christian and not every rapturist believes in the rapture coming soon.
And christian fundamentalists themselves are only a small subset of christians. So we´ve got maybe 5% of the christians within the USA who believe in the imminent rapture, a percentage that is even lower if you look at christianity worldwide (as you´ve got less christian fundamentalism and christian cult like structures outside of the USA).
So your statement fails at statistics (unless of course you define only people who believe in the imminent rapture to be christians and all others to be unbelievers, thereby violating the principle of religious tolerance and intr4oducing something in your faith, that already got your forefathers persecuted [becaus then it ws the ruling church of your home country who defined you as unbelievers])

old comment by Xotan

The Ride of Jesus is riding again.

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Rapturists have been claiming that the end is nigh for nigh on 160 years. How nigh is nigh? Not nigh as near, or nearly as nigh as Ride thinks.

There is no guarantee that you will end up anywhere but as worm-food in the earth, which is the decent end for most of us; or in the fire of the crematorium. Heaven (and hell) and god have not been proved. It is indeed a strange deity that withholds any firm evidence of his existence.

And no, the Bible is not evidence. It is a mish-mash of blood, gore, horror, atrocity, human sacrifice, murder, rape, pillage, and all the things good-living people are not supposed to do. And all of this was commanded/demanded by your putative god.

But weirdest of all, you want to end up for an eternity with the monstrous being disclosed in you Book of Myths! And you call this place 'heaven'! Are you sick in the head?

Ending up in such a place would scare the bejaysus out of me, so no, I do not wish to go there. Especially if you and your kind are going there. I drive people like you and other fundamentalists from my door. Why would I want to associate with you in an afterlife?

Nothing that you can say scares me for I hold you to be batshit crazy. Nor is there the remotest chance that you could convert me to your lunacy.

old comment by Dr. Shrinker

You demonstrate the incredible smugness of some one who does not know her own holy scriptures very well.

Let's consider: in 1st Thessalonians, Paul (the real voice of fundamentalism) assures his readers that the end is coming soon and without warning. Then in 2nd Thessalonians, he backtracks and says, "well, maybe not right away. Better plant those crops anyway." It is no wonder that many scholars believe that 2nd Thessalonians was a forgery written after Paul had died.

In 1st Corinthians, Paul is emphatic that the coming resurrection will be an earthly event, and that the faithful will dwell on Earth in perfect, immortal bodies. In Ephesians, however, Paul says that the kingdom of God is in heaven. Not surprisingly, the case for Ephesians being a post-Paul's death forgery is even stronger.

I could also mention the huge differences between the four gospels which give us four different portrayals of Jesus. However, I think I have made my point. What you call holy scriptures does not present a consistent case for its ultimate goal. The scenario changes depending on which book you read.

No, I am not scared. Knowledge dispels irrational fears. Don't you think it is time you learned something and joined us?

old comment by Anon-e-moose

@Antichrist

"but tomorrow, tomorrow we will definitely get raptured."

A brass sign* that's popular with pubs (my local boozer has one on it's shelf behind the bar):

image

But at least none of the pub's patrons are stupid enough to be pedantic about it, to complain to the landlord about such. But then, Ruptured Retards have no concept of irony to make the same connection about what their Bible claims, but makes no direct reference about such, least of all using the actual word 'Rapture'.

The only times the word 'Rapture' appear in the Bible:

Song of Solomon 2:3: 'As the apple-tree among the trees of the wood, So is my beloved among the sons:
In his shadow have I rapture and sit down; And his fruit is sweet to my taste'

Proverbs 5:19: 'As a loving hind and a gentle doe, let her breasts ever give you rapture;
let your passion at all times be moved by her love'

Luke 1:67: 'And Zechariah his father was filled with the Holy
Spirit, and spoke in a rapture of praise' (check)

Psalm 28:7: 'The Lord is my strength and my breastplate, my heart had faith in him and I am helped;
for this cause my heart is full of rapture, and I will give him praise'

Psalm 51:8: 'Make me full of joy and rapture; so that the bones
which have been broken may be glad'

...nope, no mention of being 'taken up' a la Thessalonians, with it's vague allusion to their beloved 'Whooshfest'; the actual word 'Rapture' extremely conspicuous by it's absence in that part of Scripture - the inerrant, clearly discerned & therefore infallible 'Word of God'. Destroyed doctrine much, Ruptured Retards? Remember what it says in those last two verses of Revelation, especially about adding - as in anything extra-Biblical - to the 'Word of God'.

Moral: The '(C)Rapture': purely a human invention (the Millerites, the Seventh-Day Adventists; 'Great Disappointment'. Harold Camping, May/Oct 21st 2011; 'Great Disappointment II & III). But then, the same accusation can be levelled at the entirety of the Raptards' 'beliefs'. All it takes is to start questioning such...!

I refer you to Dr. Shrinker's comment, RR. Dont you think it is time to deconvert and join us?

*- Another being 'Please do not ask for credit, as a punch in the mouth often offends' X3

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