Bacon is a liberal, immoral substance. It can cause heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, coronary artery disease, high cholesterol, and other problems. Many people in the Western world insist on eating this rubbish. According to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, bacon can cause chronic obstructive pulmonary disease because of the preservative sodium nitrite.
Eating large quantities of cured meats like bacon could damage lung function and increase the risk of lung disease. Eating processed meat like bacon, sausage and deli meats is associated with a huge risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes.
Bacon was prohibited by God, but many Christians consume it regularly because Christ apparently "eliminated" the law, rather than "adding to it".
"Bacon mania" is the passionate zeal Americans have over bacon. Many on this website suffer from it, apparently. Bacon possesses six ingredient types of umami, which elicits an addictive neurochemical response.
Bacon is a prominent feature in many American diets. Some sandwiches, including Wendy's Baconator features six or more strips!!
Eeeeeeeew, raisin bran, he cries. Soon, he has a heart attack since he ate bacon for breakfast. Oh the humanity! How will they ever pay for their liberal bias?
One must realize that if God intended humans to eat bacon, He would have never prohibited it, and Jesus came to fulfill the Law, rather than replace it.
As America grows even fatter, bacon consumption is on the rise.
33 comments
Bacon is a liberal, immoral ...
At this point I thought I'd spotted David, crying about Sir Francis, or Kevin.
And, of course, we must never forget about the abominations that are prawn cocktails and polycotton garments, which, too, are so odious to the Lord that in his infinite wisdom he forbade them to us.
Or, you know, maybe we could just not get so hung up about the neuroses of bronze-age Middle Eastern goat herds. Just a thought.
Your baloney has a first name....
You obviously haven't set eyes on a little treat called "cracklins," or the vast majority of the people that consume them. You might want to go to a Waffle House and accuse the Sausage Gravy and Biscuit crowd of being liberal. That should start the fun!
After reading this claim that bacon is a liberal, immoral substance, I hereby call Poe on every post this man has made. It stretches credulity: "I hate liberals. I hate bacon. Bacon is liberal."
If he really is stupid enough to think the term "liberal" is nothing more than a cuss word to aim at people or things he doesn't like, he shouldn't be in public without a minder or on the internet with parental monitoring software.
PETA is also opposed to eating bacon. Maybe you should join.
@Psycho Tits
"After reading this claim that bacon is a liberal, immoral substance, I hereby call Poe on every post this man has made"
Not me. There are people legitimately this crazy, like Stewie and his Taylor Swift pants obsession.
I am going to eat some bacon just to spite you.
Mmmmm, hot, fatty, delicious, aromatic bacon... the best food in the entire universe (except chocolate and a particular veggie shepherd's pie) and I didn't even know it had a political ideology. But then I do not speak the wonderful language of sizzles (an awesome-sounding language, I must admit)
Bacon is a liberal, immoral substance
He's doing okay with those self-parodying adverts for the mobile phone network EE here in the UK. [/Philbert McAdamia]
Oops... he did it again! X3
Also, Bacon Sarnies. NEXT!
@breakerslion
Mmmmm, my grandma's stewed cabbage and buttered cracklin cornbread would be awesome about right now. The last time she ever made (or well, attempted to anyway) cracklin bread, she somehow mistook a bag of pecans for cracklins, and well... it smelled really, really nice, but it burned and stuck to the skillet, and the inside turned to mush. Her vision got really bad in the last few years of her life, and she got confused and disoriented easily, so her cooking became kind of hit or miss towards the end. Before that though she was always an amazing cook. She always had either fresh cornbread or biscuits for nearly every meal, and both were great. And speaking of bacon, she always used to cook her cabbage with crumbled bacon, and the bacon drippings.
>go to a Waffle House
Huddle House for me thanks. I do have to admit that the Waffle House has some damn good hash browns though. Probably some of the best, but that's about the only thing I'd prefer them over the Huddle House for.
Bacon is liberal? What about broccoli?
Drinking large quantities of water will kill you, too.
Pig meat was prohibited, along with shellfish, and mixing meat and dairy products. No cheeseburgers for the faithful!
"Bacon possesses six ingredient types of umami, which elicits an addictive neurochemical response."
What does that mean? Six ingredient types? Bacon is just bacon.
Umami is found in soy sauce, which comes from a vegetable.
No conservatives ever eat bacon?
Someone apparently doesn't know that bacon has its own meme on the internet, and he's not going to win many converts by bashing it.
Besides, bacon is meat candy.
True conservatives who follow God's law hate bacon!
I'd be surprised if you could find more than FIVE. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that the vast majority of American Bible-thumbing Republicans would not only not agree with you there, they'd probably kick your ass for even suggesting that. Bacon is an American (and Canadian) tradition.
By the way, attempting to apply 2000+ year old rules created in a time before refrigeration and sanitation isn't likely to lead anywhere. The Torah forbids bacon because without a way to keep it refrigerated, it goes rancid very quickly, and can easily kill you. So the "no bacon" law was created to save lives in a more primitive time.
Bacon is really greasy and pork in general has all sorts of nasty bugs in it, which is really why it's prohibited in Torah. I seriously don't know where Christians got this idea that they didn't have to follow Torah anymore, because from what I understand that was an uniquely Catholic idea.
@Karana
Yesterday, I went to the butcher's and asked for a pound of bacon. He asked 'Lean?'
I went at a 45° angle, and said 'I'll have a pound of bacon, please!'
X3
image
Steve1989: cool dude* who collects, trades & taste-reviews military rations.
In his one on YouTube for the British 2004 24hr Operational Ration Pack , he proves that Bacon can last . Our Bacon & Beans ration pack is his favourite in the entire pack, and as he's American, your entire argument is invalid: precisely because it's British Bacon.
Indeed, it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if these particular ration packs were traded by British troops to US armed forces personnel. My nephew who's in the East Yorkshire Regiment - and a 2-term veteran of Afghanistan - has said he's traded things from his ration packs with US Army & Marine troops: precisely because they're things extremely difficult to find even in US stores, or unavailable.
I bet some of your country's troops have traded - and enjoyed - these UK MoD Bacon & Beans ration packs. Are you going to say - certainly to their faces - that they're wrong in doing so...?!
*- Proof that he's cool? As you can see in the pic above, he's a fan of Christopher Walken, and likes the film "They Live". I bet he's too cool to so much as notice what Taylor Swift's wearing. Because - unlike you - this dude possesses Self Control.
And you don't. Otherwise - like him - you wouldn't obsess over her. He doesn't, so what's your excuse...?!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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